Your first post.

[FatFreddysCat]

My first post was August of 2011, in the "Recent Movie Purchases" thread:

My most recent purchase was the 2009 "remake/reboot" (whatever you want to call it) of "Friday the 13th" ... it was in the bargain bin @ the supermarket and was only five bucks so I went "ehhhhh, what the hell."

For five bucks, it wasn't a bad watch. If I'd paid more than that I might not be so charitable.

[dean]

Ah, mine is silly. It was in a topic Ash started about sneaking food into the cinema back in July 2003.

it may not be too creative or outrageous, but bringing in a bottle of good old bundaberg rum and a two litre bottle of coke was a particularly interesting experience.   the guys behind us [who had brought in a box of icecreams from the local supermarket] gave us some of their booty in exchange for some of our concoction.  then to top it off we proceeded to play a drinking game where we all had a good drink every time a corny/unrealistic/just-looking-for-an excuse moment came up.

seeing that we were watching die another day at the time, it's no wonder we got fairly 'merry' by the time the credits came up.


note: when i watched the film again in a slightly more coherant frame of mind, i decided that it was worth the $2 i got it for on dvd.

So yeah, rather inglorious but teenage me stands by the claim to this day.

I also note there was briefly an imposter dean with a properly spelled Capital 'D' who posted before me. Needless to say my laziness in choosing a proper name in my excitement to post about sneaking alcohol into the cinema really has defined my last 12 or so years here right?

[Trevor]

Answering a question on the film  EVOLUTION'S CHILD. And then I went and reported myself to the mods *facepalm*

[Flangepart]

Oh, the horror....the horror. Well, as the poet said /so long hope,your chance is past-goodby my mind, its been a blast!/

Huh...My response to MY MOTHER THE SPACE SHUTTLE VS. GILLIGANS ASTEROID. Wow...I have no idea what fired that baby up...but it looks interesting.

[Ed, Ego and Superego]

July 2004:
Hi folks,
I have been wracking my brain about a film I saw in my childhood.  It was on HBO a LOT in about 1982.   Here is what I recall...
It is an "Enter the Dragon" clone about some guy making a Kung Fu army on a secret Island.  He  hasa good organization with a good infrastructure.   Every "set" of guys has their own color-coded jumpsuits, menials one color, fighters one color, etc.
So a team of fighters in infiltrated, sort of "Mission Impossible" style.  The lead has to convince his buddies to come in.  One has lost his nerve, as well as several other fighters of different styles and ethnicities (I once thought Jim Kelly was in it, but now I think not).   
I also recall the baddies taking some drug, and it eventually sends them into fits.  There is a scene where a guy spills diesel all over himeslf and his car during one of the fits.  It ends with the usual tournament stuff, with several of our heroes dying etc. 

I'm sorry this is so vague, but we're talking memories dredged up from the 4th grade here.    Any help would be appreciated.

-Ed

[indianasmith]

Mine was from July 2007:

B Movies have been a guilty pleasure of mine since I was a teenager.  Lookingup  I try to stay away from the really raunchy ones now, but there is nothing like a badly-written, low-budget horror film with an untalented cast to make me break out into torrents of laughter!!!

I have surfed thru some of this forum (not all, that would take a week or more!) over the last couple of days, and I have noticed two of my all-time favorite "Golden Turkey" choices that no one has mentioned, so I thought I would throw them out for consideration by the learned members of this august panel. Twirling

First of all, perhaps the dumbest, funniest, and all around most awful martial arts/fantasy/sci-fi film EVER made, "The Lost Empire."  I'm not sure what year it was made, I first saw it along about 1985 or so and had a copy on VHS for years, until my VCR ate it.  This movie had it all:
- a large female cast whose IQ was smaller than their bra size Buggedout
- a mysterious medallion with supernatural powers Question
- a prison riot and fight at an all-women's penitentary Wink
- the cheesiest dialect of all time  ("I'll murderize ya!" shrieked the severed head of one villain) hot
- a fat bald guy with disappearing and re-appearing bushy eyebrows Question
- and the best line ever, from a ditzy blonde who has just smashed a tarantula that crawled into her bead, revealing that its insides were made of wire and gizmos: "I hate Robot Spiders!!" Question

Trust me, if you haven't seen this one, you need to!

Then there is an incredible gem that is simply the worst movie I have ever seen,
"Ninja Bachelor Party".  Although this film never actually features a bachelor party, its incredibly dumb plot (Charlie, a recovering teenage Robutussin addict,  Question loses his girlfriend to the leader of a local bicycle gang, and goes to Korea to learn to become a Ninja and defeat the evil bicycle gang leader, who also happens to teach the local karate school) is enhanced by the fact that the whole thing is shot with a camcorder by two high school kids, and that they actually dubbed in their own voices for all the characters!  That, and the Korean Ninja Master is an American teenager in a coolie hat with a white cardboard moustache about a foot wide glued to his upper lip.  I LOVE this movie! How it made it into the video stores I will never know. Question

[Allhallowsday]

April 10, 2007, responding to a thread RCMerchant started about BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS: 

Watched this the other night on IFC; fast moving trash.  Good or bad, it's certainly unforgettable!

http://www.badmovies.org/forum/index.php/topic,113633.msg138281.html#msg138281

[zombie no.one]

lol this is a funny thread.

Im suprised no one has said VAN HALEN 3. personally I think its  okay.

[HappyGilmore]

Mine was back in 07.  It was in a thread about the tv show power rangers.  This is what I put:

"I watched Power Rangers for quite a few years.  From it's debut until early 1999.  At about that time, they pretty much finished up 6 years worth of storylines by killing Zordon (the big floating head.)  I still watch it from time to time.

It was a bad show, but that gave it it's appeal.  They tried to use the Japanese footage.  "

[Leah]

this movie is so bad, that, to me, Manos is better. Why, you con clearly see that the "eye creatures" have a heavy duty zipper in the back, they wear regular shoes, and one of them is wearing a dress. What the flip side of the head?! also, look at the sky, part time it's day time should be night time. One more thing, how can smooching teens still be making out in the movie's time? The movie starts out with them and during the movie, they are still making out!

From when I saw Attack of the the Eye Monsters, still one of the most annoying movies I've seen.

[RCMerchant]

lol this is a funny thread.

Im suprised no one has said VAN HALEN 3. personally I think its  okay.

I dint know you were that guy! I didnt equate "Depressed Crack AddicT" and you as the same person! You been here longer than me!
That aint saying much-I came in late in the game.Ash,Derf-Scott-soooo many folks-I miss Scott. I miss Sister Grace. I miss Susan! I miss Menard.I miss Cheezefliks-I dunno-I mighty spelt that wrong-I called him Cheezy-help me out here Indy!
I am glad lotsa old timers are still here-actually-I love the new folks too-keeps it fresh!
I love you all!!! 

[zombie no.one]

I didnt equate "Depressed Crack AddicT" and you as the same person!

heh...probably a good thing. No idea where that name even came from tbh. changed it after a couple of years.

There was a 'racist melon farmer' posted here for a while, lol

[bob]

From Recent Movie Purchases.

I've bought Robot Monster, Bride of the Monster, Glen or Glenda, Plan 9 From Outer Space, Hobgoblins, Leonard Part 6, Manos: The Hands of Fate, and Santa Claus Conquers the Martains all within the past year.

Sadly since that time I had get rid of my copy of Hobgoblins as it arrived damaged as hell and barely managed to play, and I got along to watching it after the date to return damaged goods passed. 

[WingedSerpent]

From a thread about recasting /remaking classic bad movies.  I still stand by some of my choices.

I've given thought to the remake of Manos: the Hands of Fate  Please forgive any spelling mistakes.

Torgo:  Vince Vaugn (Wedding Crashers)  He always looks like he spent the night drinking.  Perfect for Torgo

The Master:  Sam Neil (Jurassic Park)  I think he's a great actor who doesn't get enough roles in movies

The Husband Michael:  Greg Kanier (Talk Soup,Mystery Men) Micheal was overconfident, smarmy but ultimatly and ineffective dolt.  Tha'ts every charachter Greg Kanier ever played.

The Wife:  Sela Ward  An attreactive older woman, about Greg's age.  Doesn't make much sense if she was much younger.

Daughter:  Dakota Fanning:  Simpley because she is really the only big child actor right now. 

[Trevor]

There was a 'racist melon farmer' posted here for a while, lol

True: also that weird dude from South Africa - called himself Tevo or something like that.