Make A Random Statement About Something Nobody Should Care About

[Flangepart]

Sing see today at the maple Grove church...
Behold I make all things new
New years eve.
10AM only

[LilCerberus]

Okay, I think I've figured out what I'm doing wrong.

I've had the headphones up too high, so I've had the mics down too low.

[ER]

Bit ago, the kids in bed, He Whom I Married safely ensconced in the Commonwealth Wasteland of Fallout 4, I laid down and wanted to read something uplifting and edifying, so naturally I thought of Poe. I was enjoying Annabelle Lee when something hit the roof above me. HARD. H.W.I.M. looked up briefly and then over at me and went back to his game, but being the more responsible sort, I did what anyone who'd spent time in Texas would, I got one of our assault rifles out and investigated. Turns out with all the ice and snow we had today a raccoon tried to climb our chimney and slipped and fell. Poor thing. It made me imagine how hard life would be living outdoors in all seasons, all weather, trying to find not only food but----this is what tripped me out---finding water this time of year. Imagine how thirsty wildlife must get. And while I can and do leave wild animals food this time of year, what can I do about water, since it freezes so rapidly? I guess I could segue into an "aren't we fortunate?" close here, but rather than hit upon the hopefully self-explanatory, how about instead I conclude by reminding everyone of the enigmatic statistic that the regions with the least sunscreen usage also have the lowest rates of all types of skin cancer.

[indianasmith]

Um, could it be because those places get no sun?  I mean, when was the last time you heard of a melanoma epidemic in England?

[Chainsawmidget]

Sometimes when I'm really bored on this site, I go back and read my old upvoted posts. 

Othertimes I read WyreWizards's downvoted ones. 

[LilCerberus]

So did anybody else bother with that Celts in Mongol territory weirdness that's supposed to be some re-imagining of the Baum classic?

[Alex]

First proper day back at work since I went off to the Falklands way back in April. One of the bosses took me to one side to let me know one of my co workers has been trying to stab me in the back while I was away. Welcome back I guess.

[ER]

Today I was sworn at in German. Kind of loses something when you don't know the words. I think it was something to do with motor oil and monkeys? Asphalt?

[Flangepart]

Today I was sworn at in German. Kind of loses something when you don't know the words. I think it was something to do with motor oil and monkeys? Asphalt?

Panzer driving pink Flamingos?

[Flangepart]

I turned 61 yesterday.

Hey, still breathin'! 

[LilCerberus]

When Dubya was in charge, a friend made the inane argument for universal health care, "Would you rather have your taxes spent on health care, or an aircraft carrier?".

So, now we've got bamstercare, and yet, one of the reasons all those people got killed in that fire in Oakland, is because there's no more affordable housing in that city.

So, what is California spending their money on? Housing? Health care? A new warship? No...
California is spending a billion dollars on a George Lucas Museum!

[ER]

Once when I was contact buzzed I thought my brain was going to melt down because I remembered this time, maybe two months before that day, I was getting ready to go someplace, and I walked out and thought, "You know, it's just a little chilly. I should go back in and get a sweater." Which I did. I remembered it took me about five minutes to go in, pick the sweater out, and get outside again.

Well as I lay on this floor incredibly stoned for someone who hadn't actually done the smoking, this heavy thought pressed down on me that I had completely changed my entire life by going back for that sweater, and in effect I was permanently running five minutes behind ever since that day.

I thought, whenever I go to Target from now on, I'll see different people, hear different things, maybe miss important happenings that I would have experienced five minutes before. Maybe I would have met someone important to the unfolding of my life, but now I never will, because I was five minutes behind life's former schedule, and nothing I can ever do is going to be able to change that.

It started feeling like I was suffocating contemplating how very real and very terrible, even tragic, this fact was.

So I told someone there and he said, "I can fix that." And he gave me this Hershey's Kiss to eat, and said, just think how it tastes, and listen to some calm music. And I guess that helped, but sometimes even now I think about that idea, the notion that I seriously am living on a vaguely different schedule than I would have if I'd gone outside without getting that sweater.

[javakoala]

Once when I was contact buzzed I thought my brain was going to melt down because I remembered this time, maybe two months before that day, I was getting ready to go someplace, and I walked out and thought, "You know, it's just a little chilly. I should go back in and get a sweater." Which I did. I remembered it took me about five minutes to go in, pick the sweater out, and get outside again.

Well as I lay on this floor incredibly stoned for someone who hadn't actually done the smoking, this heavy thought pressed down on me that I had completely changed my entire life by going back for that sweater, and in effect I was permanently running five minutes behind ever since that day.

I thought, whenever I go to Target from now on, I'll see different people, hear different things, maybe miss important happenings that I would have experienced five minutes before. Maybe I would have met someone important to the unfolding of my life, but now I never will, because I was five minutes behind life's former schedule, and nothing I can ever do is going to be able to change that.

It started feeling like I was suffocating contemplating how very real and very terrible, even tragic, this fact was.

So I told someone there and he said, "I can fix that." And he gave me this Hershey's Kiss to eat, and said, just think how it tastes, and listen to some calm music. And I guess that helped, but sometimes even now I think about that idea, the notion that I seriously am living on a vaguely different schedule than I would have if I'd gone outside without getting that sweater.

Infinite timelines = infinite possibilities

[ER]

You know what's a very hard thing to do? Kiss your elbow.

[Flangepart]

When Dubya was in charge, a friend made the inane argument for universal health care, "Would you rather have your taxes spent on health care, or an aircraft carrier?".

So, now we've got bamstercare, and yet, one of the reasons all those people got killed in that fire in Oakland, is because there's no more affordable housing in that city.

So, what is California spending their money on? Housing? Health care? A new warship? No...
California is spending a billion dollars on a George Lucas Museum!

Cynical about politics? Why yes, I am. Why do you ask? Oh, it's all the evidence...