Main Menu

Best Tripadvisor review ever!

Started by Trevor, January 12, 2017, 03:49:58 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Trevor

Teenage mutants in Bloemfontein?

QuoteNot only was my room door the area for a gathering of teenage mutants, but I was woken up continuously throughout the night by the same group of mutants!

:question:
We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness.

Chainsawmidget

Quote from: Trevor on May 15, 2018, 08:41:51 AM
Teenage mutants in Bloemfontein?

QuoteNot only was my room door the area for a gathering of teenage mutants, but I was woken up continuously throughout the night by the same group of mutants!

:question:
Why do I get the feeling that a horror movie plot was going on at the time and this guy just happened to not realize it?

Trevor

QuoteLinen had the usual hairs in it but it is futile complaining on it. I am just pleased no pubic hair this time so Marriott has improved standards thankfully.

Ewww.....  :buggedout: :twirl: :tongueout:
We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness.

Trevor

QuoteWe were in the back room and the bedding smelled like old feet

Ergg.....  :buggedout: :buggedout:
We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness.

Trevor

Someone complaining about the loud sound of ocean waves in Cape Town..  :question:

QuoteThe room otherwise was reasonably sized and very light. It is worth noting however that there is little to no sound proofing, so the sound of crashing waves below were very loud – which may or may not be a good thing, depending on how well you sleep.

We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness.

Trevor

QuoteI had a room in the third floor. The first day I met a cockroach in the bathroom.

:buggedout: :buggedout:
We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness.

Trevor

QuoteHave you ever heard a resort manager tell you to "bugger off" even though you booking lasts for two more days?

:buggedout: :buggedout:
We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness.

Trevor

The worst thus far: from the Westin Hotel in Cape Town.

QuoteI arrived in my Westin hotel room on 27/04/2018 to find the toilet seat covered with the previous guests feces.

:buggedout: :buggedout:
We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness.

Trevor

And who leaves their teeth on a side plate?  :buggedout: :buggedout:

QuoteMy staff say that they have not found your wife's dentures that were left on the side plate in the restaurant and I assure you that if they had found it they would have made every attempt to get it back to you, as they have done previously with lost property

Yuck  :buggedout: :buggedout:

We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness.

Trevor

German visitor to a hotel near the Kruger National Park complaining about large frogs in the swimming pool:

Quotegroße Frösche im Minipool

:smile:
We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness.

Trevor

And the best clapbacks on Tripadvisor belong to the owner of the Atlantic View Boutique Hotel in Cape Town  :bouncegiggle: :teddyr:

https://www.tripadvisor.co.za/Hotel_Review-g312658-d631305-Reviews-Atlanticview_Cape_Town_Boutique_Hotel-Camps_Bay_Western_Cape.html

I would like to stay there just to meet the owner  :teddyr:

We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness.

Alex

Wasn't on trip advisor, but I loved and sympathised with this review.

QuoteI went outside. It was cold, wet and I was forced to engage with people. I do not recommend this outside place.
Hail to thyself
For I am my own master
I am my own god
I require no shepherd
For I am no sheep.

Trevor

These two from the same $2000 per night lodge in South Africa: :buggedout:

QuoteLater that evening - after another poor meal (both in choice and quality), I suffered significant stomach issues with prolonged visits to the toilet.

QuoteThe room while very comfortable was tatty, balcony has bird crap all over it, on the outdoor furniture crap everywhere, a birds nest was actually on the doorway and the birds were crapping everywhere. Window ledges had dead flies and insects all over it etc.
We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness.

Trevor

What is this "brown sludge" they speak of?  :buggedout: :buggedout:

QuoteHad to make 2 telephone calls to Reception and visit twice also as they repeatedly advised we had water despite not visiting our room. Brown sludge then appeared.

Errrgghhhh...........  :buggedout:
We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness.

Rev. Powell

SERVO: "Dear TripAdvisor: Too much snow! Did not appreciate avalanche! Service staff was all dead! Cannot recommend!"
CROW: "Dear TripAdvisor: TRIED to get room service, but the kitchen was on fire! Not the kind of service I'm accustomed to!"
JONAH: "Dear TripAdvisor: Band at disco only knew one song! Probably nice for singles but not for families who want to keep their children ALIVE!"
SERVO: "Dear TripAdvisor: Vending machines only had CHEEZ-ITS! Chair lift and electrocution is nowhere near as fun as advertised!"
CROW: "Dear TripAdvisor: Found cheerleader in my salad! Wait staff refused to help! ONE OUT OF FIVE STARS!!!"
JONAH: "Dear TripAdvisor: Spent a magical weekend with the owner's mother. She's a bright, sassy lady! Seemed to think we were in Hawaii. Surprisingly good on keyboard. Died in a horrible explosion. Three stars."

--the hotel in AVALANCHE
I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot...