Dark Alex's Really Long Post Thread.

[indianasmith]

Lord Foul's Bane also had probably the most disturbing rape scene I'd ever read. I don't say that as a criticism, it portayed rape as anything but titillating, and could have been a lesson to writers like Ken Follett, who wrote rape in some of his books almost as erotica.

I've came across more than a few novelists that seem to write the same way, Piers Anthony and John Norman to mention a couple. When I read them I tend to think they are very sexually frustrated in real life.

Indy, does 'White Gold Wielder' sound like it could be it?

Yes!  That was the 2nd book in the Second Chronicles of Thomas Covenant.
And I can see where it would make absolutely no sense if you started with it; any more than GAME OF THRONES would make sense from a single episode in the fourth season.

[Alex]

Woke up my usual time this morning, but felt a bit dizzy and nautious. Was supposed to be going out shopping but really wasn't feeling like moving much. Kristi decided to let me sleep. Woke up about lunch time feeling fine, and as Kristi hadn't already went out herself we decided to head into Elgin. Since neither of us had, had breakfast we went into Scribbles. Not been there for a couple of years. The food is good, but the last couple of times we were there it was just too damn hot inside. Since we were both hungry we ordered a starter and a main. The starters arrived and we had them, which was all well and good but we waited fifteen minutes after finishing them and our food hadn't arrived. Kristi spoke to our waiter and it turned out they'd forgotten to cook our main.

Thing is I've noticed with Kristi is that if your service is slow, you can forget it. She just doesn't go back to those places no matter how good the food is. They did at least give us a round of soft drinks free by way of an apology so we'll see if that makes any difference to her. Anyway, that seemed to throw off our day a bit. We went to a few shops but I could see Kristi was a bit out of sorts, so we went to pick up a few vital groceries and then went home. She is still looking a bit off. Wonder if she is having a bit of anxiety. Trying to look after her tonight, but I think she just might be best served by some alone time.

Oh and chocolate. There are very few problems a woman can have that aren't helped by having chocolate. Or at least the non serious ones are easily dealt with that way.

Maybe the serious problems just need a much bigger chocolate bar?

Anyway, we are home now. Ash is sleeping and all is peaceful right now.

[Alex]

Lovely looking Saturday morning outside. Going to enjoy the view of it from inside though. Picked up a bunch of cartoon DVD's to watch with Ash today. Disney Villains, The Legend of Smurfy Hollow, Howard Lovecraft & the Frozen Kingdom. Kristi is going out shopping. Bought myself some Luftwaffe Infantry last night on ebay to expand my German army a little. They should arrive mid next week.

Internet shopping sucks. I want stuff NOW!

Still in the meantime I am going to start painting up my beastmen army. Some of it didn't actually have any rules in 3rd edition Warhammer, but I will improvise.

Trying to design the castle the party can potentially end up owning. The tiles I have available on Roll d20 seem to not join up correctly, or match each other in colour which irks me somewhat, especially when I've paid for these bits and pieces rather than using free bits.

Still, the feast hall has been done, part of the outer wall and moat.

And so it begins with the beastmen...



If only the rest were as easy and the undercoat.

[Alex]

Not saying I was tired this morning, but when I went to feed Ash about 5 am this morning I almost heated up a bottle of mustard by mistake instead of one of his milk bottles.

He is being very bright eyed today regardless of this. Lay him down on his cot earlier and Kristi decided if she lay in our bed, having someone in the room with him might help settle him down. She is fast asleep now and Ash is playing on the floor.

Once Kristi gets up I am so having a shave and a bath. Been working on the biggest map I have had to do yet for the D&D campaign. It is a castle and so far I've only done the ground floor. I bet the party messes up though and never goes near it. 

Did a little bit of painting on the Dragon Ogre Lord. Painted him green, but decided I didn't like that so redid him with red skin. I'll start doing clothes and his scales next time I get round to painting.



Kristi is working on a backup character for D&D. She loves playing cleric's but hasn't really played anything else despite her current character cross classing into wizard. I've shown her some stuff that is basically a varient of a cleric as a small step away from it.

Perhaps one day she'll try a melee class?

[Alex]

When a holy warrior walks into a prostitutes room with a puppy and summons a celestial horse to murder her you'd think that would be the strangest day ever.

Nope. Not even close.

[Alex]

So I heard this story today and I am trying to decide what I think of it. I'll explain more of the background below, but this woman has contacted a radio station looking for help getting in touch with a guy who isn't returning her phone calls.

This woman gets contacted by a guy on a dating app or site. She accepts and they go out on a date. He is the most perfect date she has ever had, the guy is attentive, polite and sensual (her words). After the date, the pair of them go off and have the most mindblowing sex she has ever had in her life.

She then mentions that she is 20 years older than the guy in the story. Since they are both of legal age however I don't see that as being good or bad.

Anyway, she gives the phone number to radio presenters (there appears to be four of them), and they phone the guy and say if he agrees to go on a second date the radio station will pay for it.

The guy on the phone says "This is going to make me sound like such an ahole, but f**k it. It was a revenge thing. I went to school with this woman's son and he used to bully me. He made my life an absolute misery. I saw his mum on the app and decided to sleep with her so I could rub it in his face."

Now although she hadn't said anything up to this point, the woman is on the line and can hear everything being said.

She then says "You are friends with my son?"

"Didn't you listen to me, I hate that piece of s**t. You have no idea how much he made me life a living hell. The fact that this is going out over the radio has just made my revenge even better than I could ever have thought. Oh, by the way I got some great pictures of his mom."

Anyway, didn't get to hear the rest of the interview, but one the one hand I have to admire the guy for getting revenge, but on the other hand he did involve someone who (as far as I could tell) hadn't actually done anything bad to him.

Done a quick bit of work with google and found the link if anyone want's to listen to the whole thing.

http://metro.co.uk/2017/08/14/this-might-be-the-most-jaw-dropping-moment-ever-recorded-on-radio-6850787/

[ER]

So I heard this story today and I am trying to decide what I think of it. I'll explain more of the background below, but this woman has contacted a radio station looking for help getting in touch with a guy who isn't returning her phone calls.

This woman gets contacted by a guy on a dating app or site. She accepts and they go out on a date. He is the most perfect date she has ever had, the guy is attentive, polite and sensual (her words). After the date, the pair of them go off and have the most mindblowing sex she has ever had in her life.

She then mentions that she is 20 years older than the guy in the story. Since they are both of legal age however I don't see that as being good or bad.

Anyway, she gives the phone number to radio presenters (there appears to be four of them), and they phone the guy and say if he agrees to go on a second date the radio station will pay for it.

The guy on the phone says "This is going to make me sound like such an ahole, but f**k it. It was a revenge thing. I went to school with this woman's son and he used to bully me. He made my life an absolute misery. I saw his mum on the app and decided to sleep with her so I could rub it in his face."

Now although she hadn't said anything up to this point, the woman is on the line and can hear everything being said.

She then says "You are friends with my son?"

"Didn't you listen to me, I hate that piece of s**t. You have no idea how much he made me life a living hell. The fact that this is going out over the radio has just made my revenge even better than I could ever have thought. Oh, by the way I got some great pictures of his mom."

Anyway, didn't get to hear the rest of the interview, but one the one hand I have to admire the guy for getting revenge, but on the other hand he did involve someone who (as far as I could tell) hadn't actually done anything bad to him.

[Alex]

Wife picked up a book in a second hand shop that I thought might interest Indy. There is no publication date on it, although I did google the author to get some idea of how old it was. Guessed from the cover it was Victorian-ish which seems to match up with when he was alive (the author that is, not Indy. I am 86.3% sure that Indy is still alive).

[Alex]

So I am onto my second night of getting Kristi to watch a Samhain theme movie every night for the month of October.

Kristi does not know about this plan yet. Last night we watched 'The Legend of Smurfy Hollow', tonight's offering is 'Paranorman*'. Normally I go for proper horror movies, but I figured this year I'd go animated and see if I could find enough films to last an entire month. As we have a few days away to go and see John Carpenter, I will have to watch some extra ones some night.


*My brother in law Jason, totally looks like the father in 'Paranorman'.

[Alex]

Today in work some of the guys were discussing a series of old Marine recruiting ads. You'd have a bunch of them in a difficult situation and the idea was when you went to the recruiting office, they'd ask how you would solve the solution, and you'd tell them what you thought.

Anyway, the particular problem they were discussing was you have a bunch of troops including a sniper and a medic. I can't remember who else, but you have a broken down Landrover and one blanket. It is getting very cold and the problem you are posed is who do you give the blanket to?

Perhaps you give it to the medic so he can keep the rest alive, or perhaps you give it to the sniper so he can keep watch through the night and shoot anyone going to attack you.

Some people even did something with the blanket that fixed the engine on the Landrover so everyone got home and survived.

Bunch of hippies.

When I was asked for my solution I said, I keep the damn blanket for myself and send the sniper out to keep watch. I then cut the blanket into strips, and using a couple of them twisted together I sneak up behind the sniper and choke the life out of him. Then using his night scope I shoot the rest of the group. Now I have plenty of clothes I can pile on me to keep myself safe from the cold. I have quadrupled my food and water supply and thus have a much better chance of surviving long enough to get rescued. I also have a basic knowledge of first aid and a med kit so I am in pretty good shape right now. If it is that bloody cold, no insurgents are going to out looking for random targets, and the cold will help preserve the bodies should I run out of food. Hell I might even eat the bodies first and save the food for later.

Apparently this was not the answer everyone (or indeed anyone) else expected. Seems like the obvious way to survive to me.

Oh, any you can always claim the sniper freaked out and shot the rest of the group since it would be his weapon that killed them, but that you managed to get the better of him and take him out.

[Alex]

It is nice and dark outside, not to mention very quiet. I like these mornings. Woke up about 4am and held Kristi for a couple of hours until it was time to get up.

And as I write this Ash wakes up and Kristi brought him through asking if I could watch him until I go to work so she can get a bit extra sleep. Hope she does manage to get back into the embrace of Morpheus. And no I don't mean the black guy from The Matrix.

Looks like we still have high winds today, perhaps a dash of rain, but warm.

Ash just farted and collapsed into a fit of giggles. Doesn't matter how old or young they are, farts are always funny to boys it appears.

Public pressure has forced Amazon to increase its wages in the UK and improve their conditions. Given they've gotten out of paying tax and miss a whole host of costs that traditional businesses can't avoid you'd think they'd have a decent wage. I am surprised the government hasn't brought in taxes to specifically target online companies. It is not like a government to miss a trick when it comes to bringing in money. I tend not to buy a lot from them personally, but that has a lot to do with me preferring not to buy online rather than some sort of boycott. It does surprise me though that people complain about online retailers killing high street shopping, but don't connect them buying things online with helping put bricks and mortar retailers out of business.

Time to go iron a shirt. Bradley Cooper is being interviewed on the TV about his new movie and it isn't one I am interested in. Remake of A Star Is Born it seems.

Our PM is making her conference speach today. That might actually be worth looking out for. Not for what it might say, but for what can go wrong. Every year it's been a disaster for her. Last year the party logo was falling off the wall behind her, and she was having a coughing fit. Can't remember what went wrong for her in previous years, but it going wrong for her during this speach has became something of a minor tradition.

[Alex]

I got a pile of paper clips, safety pins and staples from the stationary cupboard and asked Stress Head Jim if he thought I could turn him into a Cenobite using only office supply materials.

He thinks yes I could and that I'd do a better job of it than Clive Barker.

I'll take that as a compliment.

[Alex]

Oh Indy, you'd have loved the conversation at work today...

"If you really have to resort to cannibalism to survive, just don't eat the brains."

"Is that because of all the parasites and stuff you can get?"

"Nah, its just way too salty tasting."

[Alex]

Been amusing myself at work recently by inflicting witty put downs on my co-workers (Stress Head Jim & Swimmy) when I've not been busy, which sadly has been most of the time.

Today however I was actually busy the whole day in a way I've not had to be for years. Normally you can do four tech instructions a day, six at a push, so feeling slightly chuffed that I managed seven today not to mention dealing with a whole bunch of other crap. When I said to IT Dave that I'd managed 7 he said come back when you reach triple figures and I'll be impressed.

Easily done. I converted 7 into Roman numerals.

Ah, the benefits of a classical education, even if I never did learn to speak Latin.

Always figured the reason Latin was a dead language because of the people accidently summoning demons in everyday conversation.

Hmm, maybe that is the real reason the Roman Empire fell?

Got a slightly different alternative history scenario to try work out. What if Hitler had accepted Stalin's attempt to surrender? How would the war then have went with the extra resources the third reich would have had from the huge amount of territory Stalin was willing to give up? I could see Japan and Germany attempting to link up with both countries moving on to invade India.

Doubtless once the British Empire was out of the way, Hitler would have sought to finish the rump Soviet Union off and perhaps they would have faced a two pronged attack as Japan decided to get revenge for Khalkhyn Gol?

Anyway, I think that is one I'll have to apply a bit more thought to than usual.

[ER]

Today in work some of the guys were discussing a series of old Marine recruiting ads. You'd have a bunch of them in a difficult situation and the idea was when you went to the recruiting office, they'd ask how you would solve the solution, and you'd tell them what you thought.

Anyway, the particular problem they were discussing was you have a bunch of troops including a sniper and a medic. I can't remember who else, but you have a broken down Landrover and one blanket. It is getting very cold and the problem you are posed is who do you give the blanket to?

Perhaps you give it to the medic so he can keep the rest alive, or perhaps you give it to the sniper so he can keep watch through the night and shoot anyone going to attack you.

Some people even did something with the blanket that fixed the engine on the Landrover so everyone got home and survived.

Bunch of hippies.

When I was asked for my solution I said, I keep the damn blanket for myself and send the sniper out to keep watch. I then cut the blanket into strips, and using a couple of them twisted together I sneak up behind the sniper and choke the life out of him. Then using his night scope I shoot the rest of the group. Now I have plenty of clothes I can pile on me to keep myself safe from the cold. I have quadrupled my food and water supply and thus have a much better chance of surviving long enough to get rescued. I also have a basic knowledge of first aid and a med kit so I am in pretty good shape right now. If it is that bloody cold, no insurgents are going to out looking for random targets, and the cold will help preserve the bodies should I run out of food. Hell I might even eat the bodies first and save the food for later.

Apparently this was not the answer everyone (or indeed anyone) else expected. Seems like the obvious way to survive to me.

Oh, any you can always claim the sniper freaked out and shot the rest of the group since it would be his weapon that killed them, but that you managed to get the better of him and take him out.

That is beautiful, man.