Dark Alex's Really Long Post Thread.

[Alex]

My boss at work heard me replying to Kev asking me if I could do him a favour. My reply was "As long as it doesn't involve oral sex." He is now wondering why I felt the need to quantify my answer that way. I told him some of the guys get a bit bored on nights and it is important to define your limits.

I needed that smile, thanks.

Glad I could be of service Trevor.

Heard from the parental unit that she'd arrived safely at the house, if a little later than expected. Hopefully work won't go on too late tonight and I can get home to see her at a reasonable hour. It is a quiet night, but I've been let away early all week so I can't really turn around and ask if I can get away early again tonight.

Still, can't see any terrorists creeping over the hill just outside east window. Guess I am still doing my job right then. Unless they are doing something cunning like y'know wearing dark coloured clothing and a bit of camo cream.

Did you know during WW2 Max Factor made skin camo cream? In fact I think they might still supply it.

[Alex]

Yay for Fridays and not having to be in work.

Feels awesomesauce. The family are watching Disney stuff, Ash in theory is having a nap (although he is more playing with some toys in his cot). Got to pop into work for an hour and sort out the last of my transport arrangements for Sunday. Had a few dram's last night after work.

Went out for a meal with Kristi. My mum wanted some qualitytime with Ash so we went out. One of the local restaurants is under new management. I had a nice surf and turf. Came with mussels which I'd never eaten before but didn't object to. Kristi had a burger, but it tasted a bit odd and left a lingering unpleasant taste in her mouth. I'd eat there again, but we can't recommend the burgers.

Took a walk along the harbour after that. It was a cold and damp night, but we enjoyed the walk regardless. The christmas lights get turned on tomorrow and there is a bit of a fair on for it. If the weather is ok, we'll go for a walk there tomorrow during the day and then go out again later for the lights getting turned out. Doubtless they'll have some minor celebrity to turn them on whom I'll have no idea who he or she is.

[Alex]

Went out and did the whole watching the lights being turned on today. Elizabeth wanted to go on one of the rides, and since no one else would go on with her, I did. Pretty big crowd at it despite the heavy rain. After that, we had some fireworks and headed home. Ran Elizabeth a hot bubble bath to get her warmed up once we got back, and I've sort of packed for next week. Well I've got my work shirts, shoes and trousers packed. I guess I could go with that if I don't want to get out of uniform, shave or wear underwear.

Kristi is looking for a job, but we have to consider things very carefully. Not only do we have to think about child care costs, but since she would have to pay taxes still to the US (wasn't there a whole revolution about paying taxes without representation, I mean seriously people, you have one of the worlds most oppresive tax regimes (unless you are super rich, but that is something for a different thread). What the hell are you doing with all those silly guns you have, but again something for another thread).

Ash managed to sleep through the fireworks and is now not tired at all. Really wanting him to sleep at some point tonight so I can be rested for tomorrow's journey, but if not... well that is part of the whole parenting thing and you have to take the baby smiles along with the tantrums and sleepless nights.

[Alex]

Day 1.

And so my journey south of civilisation begins. Ash did not settle well last night, which means we did not get a good nights sleep, being woken up now and again when ever he deemed waking everyone up to be a good idea. Slightly worried that I'll miss his first step, or his first tooth coming through.

Why the hell did I volunteer to come down here again?

There are many reasons why I don't like travelling down to england. Being away from the family is just one of them. The racism, mostly casual but sometimes physical, (when I was down the Falklands my room mate was complaining about how with the english dealing with scots all the racist stuff is just banter, but that the scots really hate the english. I gave him a couple of stories of times when I've been down in england and things that had happened (like when I got dragged down to go to some football games and got caught in the middle of anti scottish riot) he quickly changed the subject as if he was not willing to admit there was a problem. Considering the amount of scar tissue he had on his face from one of his countrymen hitting him with a beer glass you'd have thought he'd have been more open to the truth. But then pretending inconvienient problems don't exist with your country tends to be a favoured option with almost as many people as those who think there is nothing but problems with their country and see nothing good about them) but still a factor, the sheer bother trying to get there. I used to think the trains in Scotland were badly run until the first time I found myself living in the south. Then I realised our trains were more modern (although the antique carriages where you have to wind down a window and reach outside to open the door are somewhat quaint in a wow, I remember seeing trains like this in old world war two newsreels).

Anyway, england is hardly the only country in the world to have these issues and I am merely venting because I have to go down and deal with them, even if only for a week. I am sure if I actually listened to the daily chatter of my workmates I hear them engaging in the same sort of thing. There is much I find to commend being able to shut them out.

Still at least (to the best of my knowledge), their are no football or cricket compititions on just now. Normally my courses in england have coincided with major sporting tournaments, which the natives seem to think just turning up for means they are entitled to win, despite the fact that they very rarely do (we used to play a game where everytime the last time england winning the football world cup was mentioned (sometime back in the mid 60's) we'd take a drink. Eventually though it just got too expensive. Seriously, yes you won it, well done and move on.

Don't get the idea that everyone in the southern 55% of our land mass is like that, there are plenty of nice people down there too, but there always seems to be just enough to make it unpleasant to visit. Enough though that I really wish the independence referendum had went the other way. I have plenty of southern friends and family whose company I either enjoy, or at least can tolerate.

Still, I've never been to Lincolnshire before. Perhaps it will prove to be different?

The train is surprisingly busy, although I have managed to get table all to myself. Mostly by sitting down and just glaring at the window with my angry face on. Not that I am feeling angry, but people tend not to sit beside me if I look like I am. If only that worked on planes too. Speaking on planes, I could have flown down, but to be honest by the time you get there early enough for your flight and go through the whole booking in thing. I can get more writing done on the train too.

Wither or not this is a good or bad thing I'll leave for you to decide. Either way, I should get to my destination after about 12 hours of travelling so I expect to be feeling tired, hungry and grumpy by the time I get there (I have food on me and enough money to buy more but for some reason I always finish long journies hungry. I remember the first time I'd to travel to Marham. Because of a mix up my pick up was waiting in the wrong town for me. I'd been travelling since 4am, it was now getting close to midnight and a couple of eastern european skinheads were eyeing me up for what I assume was a mugging. I felt so exhausted, having had nothing to eat since breakfast and carrying a heavy ass bag full of uniform I remembering thinking, f**k it, I have nothing of any value on me and I don't feel like fighting to protect my work clothes. If they wan't it, they can have it. However the place I was waiting to get picked up was right outside a police station (the station itself was closed to the public at that hour however) and there was a regular procession of patrol cars coming and going, so after about an hour of them watching me they got bored and wandered off.

Wonder if it had come down to it though, if I could have resisted the idea of putting up a fight? It would be extremely unusual for me not to, even if I did just feel like I had nothing else left.

Anyway, this time I've sorted out my own transport rather than letting anyone else do it, so I have time to eat on the way, as well as having a bunch of snacks with me.

Oh well, have a happy Sunday everyone, and may your Monday not be as bad as you expect.

[Alex]

And still travelling. On the train in Edinburgh just now, waiting for it to leave the station. I was quite happily working on some D&D stuff earlier when a couple decided not only to sit down at the table, but engage me in conversation. I mentioned that I have a friend in the US who has her own import / export business trading in whisky. Turns out this was her line of work too, so she has asked me to give Jess her business card.

Sure, if I can keep your card in my wallet until the next time I see Jess (possibly in a year's time when we are next due to visit the US, planning to be there over Samhain), I'll do my best to remember to give it to her.

Anyway, she was heading to Edinburgh with her Swedish boyfriend for a night on the town before he heads back home. I got many details of their relationship, how they met, places they'd visited together and so on. None of which I'd asked for but she seemed happy enough just to chat, so I did my bit and carried out my side of the conversation. Sitting in a reserved seat now, which I should have to myself as far as Newcastle where someone is due to get on the seat beside me. Hopefully she or he will be quiet and leave me to work.

Got a splinter of wood in my hand last night. Guess I have't dug it all out as the injury seems to have swollen up and has an infected head on it. I've got my Leatherman with me, so when I get to Coningsby I'll dig it out and clean the wound. Not going to try digging it out on a train. They are a bit too bumpy for that kind of work.

Decided to risk using the toilet since we are right at the start of the journey. Wither it be long bus trips, plane flights, on the train I have a rule about never using the toilet after four hours have passed. The state those things get into... Let's just say I've lived in field conditions that were more sanitory than they get. For nightclubs I reduce this time to two hours.

Oh well, onwards to Grantham in three hours.

[Alex]

Arrived at Coningsby after a little bit over 12 hours of travelling. The transit room is pretty much the same as my old pre married me, room back at Lossiemouth. It will suffice for the week I need to stay here. No ironing boards were available so I improvised with a table and some bedding. My trousers are passable, but my shirt less so. I'll give it another try in the morning.

Bumped into a young lad while I was looking for an ironing board. He was looking for one too, as well as his room key which he'd managed to lose, so hey I am not having the worst night out there. I did offer to help him look but he already had three others looking for them.

The taxi driver who took me out to camp didn't seem to care much for the speed limit. I was his last fare of the night and I guess he was in a hurry to finish. Still, doing 80 through a town is asking for trouble, especially the way he was riding the bumper of anyone in front of him. He was asking if I wanted to book him for my return trip on Friday. Was quite happy to tell him I'd be getting a lift to the station going home.

Oh well, it is getting close to midnight, so I think I'll shut down and get some sleep.

Good night out there, what ever you are.

[Alex]

Didn't get any sleep last night. Every time I almost dropped off, somewhere someone banged a door. Somewhere about 2 am I gave up on the idea of actually getting any kip. I am sure the first day of the course is now going to be a treat, although possibly not quite as bad as the guy I heard throwing up around 5.

[Alex]

Mr Throw up all night turned out to be one of my fellow course attendees. He says he thinks he got food poisoning from a salmon sandwich he had the night before. He continued to throw up all day while refusing to go to the med centre. He's even managed to pop a blood vessel in his eye from all the being sick.

Of course we gave him lots of sympathy and didn't change his name tag from 'Malky' to 'Pukey'.

The course itself is death by computer projection, which I guess is more technologically advanced than the traditional death by power point we are used to.

Ever wondered why so often in science fiction Mars always seems to be in rebellion against Earth? Do we block their view of the sun or something?

Decided to dig out X-Com 2 for a replay tonight. If I get bored, well I never did get around to finishing Dark Corners of the Earth.

[ER]

Mr. Pukington shows why it's my rule that if you're traveling, always take charcoal tablets along. Just don't confuse them with your suicide pills. Left pocket! Left pocket!

[Alex]

Spent last night listening to music, doing some writing and some reading (Leviathan Rising). Part of me wants to go to mess for breakfast, but more of me can't be bothered leaving the room before I actually have to.

Another day of sitting in front of a computer screen, ho hum. Just like being at work. Called Kristi this morning. Could hear Ash happily gurgling in the background, although hearing my voice without seeing me baffled him somewhat.

Trumso in Norway has it's last half hour of sunlight today until mid January. Wonder if everyone who stays there has their own sunlamp? I do have a friend who comes from there. I should ask her when I get back.

Still having to improvise an ironing board. First time I've ever been in transit accomodation with no ironing boards. Shirt isn't quite up to my usual standards, but I guess everyone else is in the same boat.

[Alex]

Today's lessons had the advantage of being over before four o'clock. Our instructor has told me and Ginge (yes, he followed me down here), are wasting our time doing this course as only about 5% of what it covers is dealt with in our job and if we wanted to walk out and just go home it wouldn't be a problem.

Yeah, not a problem for him. Pretty sure our boss back in Lossie would have something to say if we came back and said yeah, decided I couldn't be arsed with that course so f**ked it off and came home.

Saw someone I went through Cosford with 18 years ago. Or well, he saw me. I didn't spot him in the crowd, it was him who called my name out. Only the second time I've bumped into someone from those days. Jes was alright I guess. I remember he spent the 14 months we were in phase 2 training constantly stressing out, but he finished the course with the highest average exam score out of our class, so I guess for him it was worth it. Me? Well, I spent half the course trying to fail exams and get reflighted as I disliked most of the other people on our course, so my scores weren't quite as high lol. Shame I didn't manage to get reflighted though until after I had stopped trying.

It was a stupid way to fail a practical exam though (I left an inspection panel open after completing an aircraft service). But it did mean I didn't have to spend the last month or so of my course in the company of Kev Bell (or Bell End as I nicknamed him (in the UK a bell end is the end of a man's penis, I don't know if elsewhere in the world uses that term or not). He was just some 18 year old who knew nothing about the world, but thought it owed him 'respect', although what he really wanted was fear. I just couldn't be arsed with him and tried a couple of times to get him to swing a punch at me, when he was telling me how I should start showing him some respect. If he had, my next stop would have been getting him some time spent in a military prison, followed by a dishonourable discharge.

Lucky for him that he never did I guess. Hard to get a good job afterwards with that kind of thing on your record. Funnily enough if he had, he would actually have had a little bit of actual respect from me for sticking to his belief's. As it was however he merely remained an irritating loud mouth. Wonder if he is still in the airforce today, and what he'd think of a kid who acted the same way he used to? I guess I could check, just do a quick email search on our intranet.

Not interested enough in finding that out though to actually do anything to find out lol.

Anyway, it is only the third time I've bumped into someone from back then in the 18 years since. First was Barry Bunton, who was the youngest guy on our course at sixteen and got the nickname 'Baby Bunton'. Next one was a duel citizenship South African guy called Stephen Gates. Damn, he was irritating. I saw him after he'd received a 24 hour posting for sleeping with one of his workmates wife's, although I doubt sleeping was the problem. Anyway, if put paid to any chance of him being promoted and he was shortly going to time-ex and return to civvy street. We five people sharing a four man room and he was one of my room mates. One day while he was in the shower I grabbed his towel and then locked our room door, leaving him running around the block naked looking for someone who could give him a loan of some clothes.

That wasn't the worst trick we played on someone during training. One guy was allergic to CS gas, and everytime we got gassed, we'd take the filters and empty them over his pillow. Or the time Willo fell asleep on a MT bus and with the aid of some shaving foam we built a tower of nacho's on his forehead.

Oh, the jolly japes we engaged in. Short sheeting, Apple turnovers, putting someones fingers while they were sleeping in lukewarm water, putting toothpaste over their eyes while they slept... The list goes on. The only thing I recall ever falling for was having my underarm deodorant swapped for a tin of hairspray while I had my glasses off.

In case you are wondering how that feels, I must tell you it is an amazingly pleasent experience which I can thoroughly recommend to everyone out there.

Seriously, you should go try it now.

[ER]

The only thing I recall ever falling for was having my underarm deodorant swapped for a tin of hairspray while I had my glasses off.

In case you are wondering how that feels, I must tell you it is an amazingly pleasent experience which I can thoroughly recommend to everyone out there.

Seriously, you should go try it now.

I'm always in for pleasant experiences, Alex, thanks for the tip! 

[justme2013]

Just letting you know that Ash only wants to sleep with your pillow and Dagon has set up camp on your computer chair using your black fluffy robe as a cushion.... black cats are hard to find when they are laying on something that is black and fluffy.

[Alex]

What is it about other people wanting my clothes? Ok, this is not as disturbing as my (male) boss asking if he could have a pair of my underpants, but still. Garry, Shaun and Aiden all have substantial amounts of my clothes. Susanna never did return one of my tee shirts she borrowed. Tracy want's one of my leather jacket...

I mean really folks, what the hell is going on there?

[Alex]

Another day dawns. Well not quite dawns. That won't happen until after eight o'clock. It feels still and quiet right now. I like the dark. Sometimes when I go out walking in it (especially if it has just finished raining), it feels like I am the only person left in the world.

Damn, but I need to get a new battery for my watch. I really miss having one. I mean ok, I can pull out my phone and get the time from it, but it just isn't quite the same. What little incidentals can do you feel you need to get through the day?

20 minutes to go until I need to head off to another day of sitting learning stuff that won't help me do my job even slightly. It isn't a bad course as far as these things go, it just isn't relevent to what I do. I could have better spent the week cuddled up in bed with Kristi and seeing little Ash's smile.

Got a cold I can't seem to shift, which I really hate as it is frequently leaving feeling like I am out of breath. Looks like a foggy day outside as the first hints of light appear. Not that I'll see any of it today. Our classroom has no windows. Story of my working life apparently lol.