I think I'm going crazy.

RCMerchant · February 22, 2018, 06:05:55 AM

I have no income-I talk to myself-I think about suicide all the time. Its hard man-I hate this world. I cry about nothing all the time.f**k this s**t.
Ya know like-Richie's dead- I loved him more than anybody and my brother he could have stayed with me or something. I could have stopped him. Richie was my brother. I let him die. Tara died on my watch. They all died. My Ma's dead,my Dad's dead-Tiana's brother died Monday-shes all f**ked up. f**k all this.

RCMerchant · February 22, 2018, 07:01:55 AM

f**k all this-WHY? WHY????
I wish I as dead.

RCMerchant · February 22, 2018, 07:34:27 AM

I trid to remove this topic-but it won't let me. Dammit-IGNORE THIS. YOU DON'T need to read this-GO AWAY.

Svengoolie 3 · February 22, 2018, 07:37:52 AM

I'd do something for you if I could.

RCMerchant · February 22, 2018, 07:38:14 AM

Rev-please remove this.

RCMerchant · February 22, 2018, 07:45:23 AM

I'm drunk and babbling-please take this topic off board-I'm an idiot. I babble-it doesnt need to be here.
Svengollie- you have been very passionite about stuff that I can identify with-lotsa folks on this board think your crazy. I don't. I understand.
Keep it cool. Time will tell.

RCMerchant · February 22, 2018, 07:53:10 AM

And ER- I love you too- but you have to be more understanding of folks who are not as lucky in life as you. Your very smart and beautiful. But we all have different life experiances that shape us-and the only way to make peace is to understand the ones we disagree with. I am trying my best to do this in my life. I realize I'm a jerk-I am trying to change.

RCMerchant · February 22, 2018, 08:03:50 AM

Rev-Don't remove this- I think this is in the long run helpful. We all need to be friends-because division is not a good thing. Svengoolie-ER-we all are here on this planet. We all love BAD movies. In the long run-we all want the same goal-and that's just to be civil.
I took sides- I shouldn't have. It was wrong. I like you all. I like ER- I like Svengoolie.

RCMerchant · February 22, 2018, 08:38:57 AM

I'm done.
I p**sed of Hallows- I insulted ER- I'm leaving.
I love you all. f**k all this.
Bye.

ER · February 22, 2018, 09:03:45 AM

Aw, Ronny, I told you I wasn't insulted, man, no biggie. After ten years I think I get you, it wasn't a big deal. When you get your SSI life is going to open up for you. Just keep slogging through. I bet you find everything works out. You know good things happen too. Keep writing about it all if it helps even a little. Everyone here cares about you, brother.

Transitions are hard but I bet with these changes coming up the angel of good luck will soon take a rainbow colored dump on your life that'll leave you flipping the past the bird.

Rev. Powell · February 22, 2018, 09:50:47 AM

Stick around, please.

My advice is see a doctor and get prescribed some antidepressants. It worked for me. Relief may be that easy.

Good luck, friend.

ER · February 22, 2018, 11:39:24 AM

The Rev's right, Ronny. Go see a doctor. It might change your life for the better.

Alex · February 22, 2018, 11:50:10 AM

Hope you get help mate. Take care and remember we care about you and you are not allowed to leave us.

zombie no.one · February 22, 2018, 12:09:12 PM

this is upsetting. stay strong RC.

ER · February 22, 2018, 12:31:22 PM

PS, I've said for years, a lot of this might be your blood sugar. Try getting more protein if you can and avoid sugar in all its forms. See if that helps. Don't skip eating, and when you feel the bad moods hit, or you start feeling tired, or your mind gets blurry, eat a piece of cheese or some eggs or tuna or even a Slim Jim, something like that. Try eating something small every few hours. Also don't drink alcohol. (Sorry if I sound preachy but I do want you to feel better.)