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Worst.... Dracula.... EVER!!!!

Started by Svengoolie 3, August 27, 2018, 06:26:36 AM

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Svengoolie 3

Name the worst Dracula you're ever seen in a movie, and the character HAD to have actually been named Dracula,  not just some generic vampire.

I'd have to go with this pudgy moon faced guy with a silly accent named Bela something.








Gotcha!  That was just in case RCM was having constipation problems and really needed something to make him sh-t.  :bouncegiggle:

Honestly I have to say the worst dracula I ever saw,  and yes I saw 'Dracula vs. Frankenstein'',  was in ''Dracula 3000''.



Now,  let's avoid cruelty and not discuss the actor.  Just look at that.... cape.  That cape, alone!, makes anyone wearing it the worst dracula Ever.  You could put that cape on Sir Christopher Lee himself and people would have laughed him off the stage at hammer studios.

I think (and fervently  hope)  this was the worst Dracula in movie history. And yes I saw ''kung fu from beyond the grace. '' I linked to it here,  remember?  At least that dracula made you laugh,  and his cape wasn't absolutely the most ridiculous and cringe worthy piece of attire ever to appear in a movie.  The golden razzies should have sent this guy's cape an award it's own...

You think you have a worst dracula?  Let's see him...
The doctor that circumcised Trump threw away the wrong piece.

ER

The most uninspiring Dracula I ever saw was in second grade when they brought a bunch of "special" public school kids over to where I went for a parish Halloween party, and one little boy was supposed to be Dracula and he weighed...A BUNCH, he had flaming red hair, thick glasses, and was in a wheelchair because his legs were sticks. It's the last detail I find most damning since everyone knows the Dark Gift cures infirmities; if he was a real Cos-Player he'd have padded his legs for authenticity and had a back story about a holy water incident temporarily confining him to his contraption!

I knew right away he was a lame Dracula since our party was held in the parish hall, crucifixes everyplace, and he didn't once throw in a token wince-n-shun when his eyes passed a cross! So lazy.

The teacher had to pin up his cape to keep it out of his wheels, so when he went to flip the cape and be menacing it was more like a choppy swish that even the one nun left at school had to try hard to pretend to be frightened by.

He also had a thick speech impediment and made no token effort at a Transylvania accent at all: "I vant to suck your blood, blah!" came of as "Isdwefowengkwngkwefjkm."

Then there's the fact the little jerk would cackle while he ran his electric wheelchair into others, including me, dressed as I was as a Thundercat, and all his teacher said was, "Martin, play nice with the Catholic children."

Well he bruised my foot and I wanted to jab him with a plastic fork, but this was years before Buffy and I wasn't sure exactly where to stick a vampire so he got away with it.

He also sucked up more than his share of popcorn balls and rice crispie treats, TOTALLY not suitable undead snacking materials I think you'll agree, and he spilled his punch (at least it was red punch... vampire... blood....y'know?) all down himself, showing none of the feline grace of a child of the night. That got so bad one of the aides put a plastic bib around him. A Dracula in a bib, right, yawn.

It was just lackluster all the way around and I don't think anyone was scared whatsoever.

Oh! Oh, and he died the next year instead of having eternal life!
What does not kill me makes me stranger.

LilCerberus

That looks exactly like an antagonist from some live action Saturday morning kids show from way back in the early '70s......
"Science Fiction & Nostalgia have become the same thing!" - T Bone Burnett
The world runs off money, even for those with a warped sense of what the world is.

Allhallowsday

#3
Sven, why don't you utilize the forum as it was intended?  
There is a BAD MOVIES portion of this forum.  There is a GOOD MOVIES portion of this forum.  There is also an ENTERTAINMENT portion of the forum which is for MUSIC, BOOKS, etc.  

Once again, you start an interesting topic in the OFF TOPIC portion of this forum.  OFF TOPIC.  

Quote from: ER on August 27, 2018, 01:20:01 PM
The most uninspiring Dracula I ever saw was in second grade when they brought a bunch of "special" public school kids over to where I went for a parish Halloween party, and one little boy was supposed to be Dracula and he weighed...A BUNCH, he had flaming red hair, thick glasses, and was in a wheelchair because his legs were sticks. It's the last detail I find most damning since everyone knows the Dark Gift cures infirmities; if he was a real Cos-Player he'd have padded his legs for authenticity and had a back story about a holy water incident temporarily confining him to his contraption!
I knew right away he was a lame Dracula since our party was held in the parish hall, crucifixes everyplace, and he didn't once throw in a token wince-n-shun when his eyes passed a cross! So lazy.
The teacher had to pin up his cape to keep it out of his wheels, so when he went to flip the cape and be menacing it was more like a choppy swish that even the one nun left at school had to try hard to pretend to be frightened by.
He also had a thick speech impediment and made no token effort at a Transylvania accent at all: "I vant to suck your blood, blah!" came of as "Isdwefowengkwngkwefjkm."
Then there's the fact the little jerk would cackle while he ran his electric wheelchair into others, including me, dressed as I was as a Thundercat, and all his teacher said was, "Martin, play nice with the Catholic children."
Well he bruised my foot and I wanted to jab him with a plastic fork, but this was years before Buffy and I wasn't sure exactly where to stick a vampire so he got away with it.
He also sucked up more than his share of popcorn balls and rice crispie treats, TOTALLY not suitable undead snacking materials I think you'll agree, and he spilled his punch (at least it was red punch... vampire... blood....y'know?) all down himself, showing none of the feline grace of a child of the night. That got so bad one of the aides put a plastic bib around him. A Dracula in a bib, right, yawn.
It was just lackluster all the way around and I don't think anyone was scared whatsoever.
Oh! Oh, and he died the next year instead of having eternal life!

And in all the years since, you cannot find pity in your heart?   :thumbdown: :bluesad:
If you want to view paradise . . . simply look around and view it!

Svengoolie 3

Ah fart een you zhenerahl die-reckshun!

The doctor that circumcised Trump threw away the wrong piece.

Allhallowsday

Quote from: Svengoolie 3 on August 27, 2018, 08:49:03 PM
Ah fart een you zhenerahl die-reckshun!


Is that a response to me?  Why don't you behave like you have some respect for us? 
If you want to view paradise . . . simply look around and view it!

ER

Quote from: Allhallowsday on August 27, 2018, 03:52:27 PM
Sven, why don't you utilize the forum as it was intended?  
There is a BAD MOVIES portion of this forum.  There is a GOOD MOVIES portion of this forum.  There is also an ENTERTAINMENT portion of the forum which is for MUSIC, BOOKS, etc.  

Once again, you start an interesting topic in the OFF TOPIC portion of this forum.  OFF TOPIC.  

Quote from: ER on August 27, 2018, 01:20:01 PM
The most uninspiring Dracula I ever saw was in second grade when they brought a bunch of "special" public school kids over to where I went for a parish Halloween party, and one little boy was supposed to be Dracula and he weighed...A BUNCH, he had flaming red hair, thick glasses, and was in a wheelchair because his legs were sticks. It's the last detail I find most damning since everyone knows the Dark Gift cures infirmities; if he was a real Cos-Player he'd have padded his legs for authenticity and had a back story about a holy water incident temporarily confining him to his contraption!
I knew right away he was a lame Dracula since our party was held in the parish hall, crucifixes everyplace, and he didn't once throw in a token wince-n-shun when his eyes passed a cross! So lazy.
The teacher had to pin up his cape to keep it out of his wheels, so when he went to flip the cape and be menacing it was more like a choppy swish that even the one nun left at school had to try hard to pretend to be frightened by.
He also had a thick speech impediment and made no token effort at a Transylvania accent at all: "I vant to suck your blood, blah!" came of as "Isdwefowengkwngkwefjkm."
Then there's the fact the little jerk would cackle while he ran his electric wheelchair into others, including me, dressed as I was as a Thundercat, and all his teacher said was, "Martin, play nice with the Catholic children."
Well he bruised my foot and I wanted to jab him with a plastic fork, but this was years before Buffy and I wasn't sure exactly where to stick a vampire so he got away with it.
He also sucked up more than his share of popcorn balls and rice crispie treats, TOTALLY not suitable undead snacking materials I think you'll agree, and he spilled his punch (at least it was red punch... vampire... blood....y'know?) all down himself, showing none of the feline grace of a child of the night. That got so bad one of the aides put a plastic bib around him. A Dracula in a bib, right, yawn.
It was just lackluster all the way around and I don't think anyone was scared whatsoever.
Oh! Oh, and he died the next year instead of having eternal life!

And in all the years since, you cannot find pity in your heart?   :thumbdown: :bluesad:

Sympathy doesn't help the departed. Maybe I can explain it though. That condition I have makes it feel oddly like all time is now. To me second grade and yesterday are much the same. It's like I lack whatever spatial ability most people have that lets them differentiate the passing of time and have a past that feels distinct from the present. With what I have it's like multiple plays going on at once on the same stage. So a boy playing a weird vampire in the 80s is....current to my brain's perceptions.
What does not kill me makes me stranger.

Svengoolie 3

Quote from: Allhallowsday on August 27, 2018, 08:58:52 PM
Quote from: Svengoolie 3 on August 27, 2018, 08:49:03 PM
Ah fart een you zhenerahl die-reckshun!


Is that a response to me?  Why don't you behave like you have some respect for us? 

Yes.  This was at your rant at me.  However I just saw Your response to ERs post and respect it. No one else seems to Mind my posts.  Even ER Stopped ragging at me.  I don't see why. You feel compelled to female dog at me.  It does. Get annoying.
The doctor that circumcised Trump threw away the wrong piece.

ER

Quote from: Svengoolie 3 on August 27, 2018, 09:47:13 PM
Quote from: Allhallowsday on August 27, 2018, 08:58:52 PM
Quote from: Svengoolie 3 on August 27, 2018, 08:49:03 PM
Ah fart een you zhenerahl die-reckshun!


Is that a response to me?  Why don't you behave like you have some respect for us? 

Yes.  This was at your rant at me.  However I just saw Your response to ERs post and respect it. No one else seems to Mind my posts.  Even ER Stopped ragging at me.  I don't see why. You feel compelled to female dog at me.  It does. Get annoying.

Aw, I never ragged on you, dear, I corrected the many, many times you were wrong in your assertions, and called you on your hate speech. I'd like to think I helped smooth off some of your rough edges and made you the more popular sven we all tolerate much more today.  :thumbup:
What does not kill me makes me stranger.

Allhallowsday

Quote from: Svengoolie 3 on August 27, 2018, 09:47:13 PM
Quote from: Allhallowsday on August 27, 2018, 08:58:52 PM
Quote from: Svengoolie 3 on August 27, 2018, 08:49:03 PM
Ah fart een you zhenerahl die-reckshun!

Is that a response to me?  Why don't you behave like you have some respect for us? 
Yes.  This was at your rant at me.  However I just saw Your response to ERs post and respect it. No one else seems to Mind my posts.  Even ER Stopped ragging at me.  I don't see why. You feel compelled to female dog at me.  It does. Get annoying.
It's not a "rant".  You simply have an enormous fluffy ego, just like someone you have no respect for.  You are lost.  Hate to break it to you, but everyone who reads you minds your posts.  Your posts are rude and egocentric.  Being an "intellectual," I'd have expected you'd have figured that out by now.
If you want to view paradise . . . simply look around and view it!

Allhallowsday

Quote from: ER on August 27, 2018, 09:56:43 PM
...
Aw, I never ragged on you, dear, I corrected the many, many times you were wrong in your assertions, and called you on your hate speech. I'd like to think I helped smooth off some of your rough edges and made you the more popular sven we all tolerate much more today.  :thumbup:
Horse hockey.  You're wrong on two counts. 

And "pity" is not "sympathy". 

If you want to view paradise . . . simply look around and view it!

ER

Ta-da! Thank you, thank you. I think you owe me a bag of M&Ms, D. LOL read up there and weep. Told you, didn't I?
What does not kill me makes me stranger.