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Rules for making bad movies.

Started by Svengoolie 3, September 07, 2019, 08:15:43 PM

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Svengoolie 3

1. Say repeatedly, to yourself and others,  "Don't worry, the audience will never notice that. "
The doctor that circumcised Trump threw away the wrong piece.

pacman000


Svengoolie 3

So that cs what wt a non s**tty reply is like! I'd almost forgotten!
The doctor that circumcised Trump threw away the wrong piece.

Trevor

Employ Trevor as your scriptwriter :wink:
We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness.

ER

3. Get rid of people who can't write.
What does not kill me makes me stranger.

lester1/2jr

always have a totally useless first half hour where nothing happens

zombie no.one

6. All final showdowns involving superhuman, multi dimensional shapeshifting enemies shall be conducted via basic hand-to-hand combat

LilCerberus

7. Whatever we lack in talent & good story telling, we can make up for with things starting with the Letter "B"; IE, blood, breasts, beasts, bullets, bombs, blasts, butts....
Feel free to add something!
"Science Fiction & Nostalgia have become the same thing!" - T Bone Burnett
The world runs off money, even for those with a warped sense of what the world is.

chainsaw midget

8.  At some point in the movie, replace a main character with a different character who serves the exact same purpose in the movie, but isn't as good an actor and works cheaper.

pacman000

9) All scenes should be completed in ONE and ONLY ONE take. Cause time & film are expensive!

LilCerberus

Quote from: LilCerberus on September 08, 2019, 12:24:30 PM
7. Whatever we lack in talent & good story telling, we can make up for with things starting with the Letter "B"; IE, blood, breasts, beasts, bullets, bombs, blasts, butts....
Feel free to add something!
Ooh! Blades!
"Science Fiction & Nostalgia have become the same thing!" - T Bone Burnett
The world runs off money, even for those with a warped sense of what the world is.

pacman000


RCMerchant

Hire has been over the hill actors who are in the bottle or on drugs.
Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."
Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant

chainsaw midget

Hire the relatives of famous actors and then just list them on the posters by their last name only.

RCMerchant

Make sure that there's a scary looking monster on the poster, but use a stupid looking monster (and only for a few minutes), or worse, no monster at all!
Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."
Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant