Recent Viewings, Part 2

[Alex]

Sky Sharks.

It has zombie nazis. It has sharks. What more do you need to be entertained?

[lester1/2jr]

^ I should have watched that instead

The Spell (1977) - Tame, even for a tv movie, story about a teenage witch who can't decide whether she loves or hates her family. The kids at school are viciously cruel to her because she is like 10-15 pounds overweight. It also marks the debut of Helen Hunt, who is excellent as the girl's younger sister and actually seems more mature and normal than everyone else in the movie.

There's just enough campy stuff to keep you interested, but barely. The end was a decent showdown of the witchy spirits but not something that will make you forget, say, "Boxer's Omen". MST3k level dreck with "this is boring" and "this is ridiculous/funny" tradeoffs

2.75 /5

[FatFreddysCat]

"The Specialist" (1994)
A former CIA explosives expert, now a mercenary (Sylvester Stallone) finds himself falling for his latest client: a mysterious woman (Sharon Stone) who wants him to kill the Miami crime lord who murdered her parents. A slick mix of erotic thriller and action flick with an impressive cast and plenty of pyrotechnics. Sharon Stone was just about the hottest woman in the world when this was made, so her character doesn't have to do much besides wear skimpy outfits and pout... which was just fine with me.

[Alex]

"The Specialist" (1994)
A former CIA explosives expert, now a mercenary (Sylvester Stallone) finds himself falling for his latest client: a mysterious woman (Sharon Stone) who wants him to kill the Miami crime lord who murdered her parents. A slick mix of erotic thriller and action flick with an impressive cast and plenty of pyrotechnics. Sharon Stone was just about the hottest woman in the world when this was made, so her character doesn't have to do much besides wear skimpy outfits and pout... which was just fine with me.

I remember an interview with Sharon Stone after that movie came out. She said that she'd had to drink a bottle of vodka before she could bring herself to do a sex scene with Stallone and the only attractive part of his body was his ankles.

[FatFreddysCat]

"The Mother" (2023)
Jennifer Lopez makes a surprisingly legit action heroine in this Netflix original. She plays a bad-ass former Army sniper who comes out of hiding after a dozen years to protect her estranged daughter from some very bad people. Much butt is kicked, lots of things explode, and J-Lo totally sells it throughout. A fun ride.

[Alex]

Gnomercy.

I am not quite sure if a garden gnome grows to human size, or if a human merely decides to dress as a garden gnome. Either way he wanders around killing a semi-attractive cast with garden tools. The characters didn't seem to be overly dislikable which is really the only thing I find enjoyable about slasher films, seeing unpleasant people coming to a messy end. They are killed with lines that are about as clever as the title, for example someone mistaking the blood covered gnome for a gardener, asks if he offers student discounts, gets cut in half with a chainsaw and then the Killer says "How about half off." No nudity, although a fleeing woman manages to lose her outer layers of clothing and end up in her underwear.

[FatFreddysCat]

"Rat Race" (2001)
A Las Vegas casino mogul (John Cleese) chooses a group of random guests at his hotel and sends them on a cross-country race for a $2 million prize. Naturally, chaos and destruction follow as the group of crazed contestants vie to be the first ones to the finish line.
This old fashioned "race and chase" slapstick comedy in the vein of "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World" features lots of crashes, sight gags, and mayhem, and a cast that includes Whoopi Goldberg, Cuba Gooding Jr., Jon Lovitz, Seth Green, Dave Thomas, Rowan Atkinson, and many more. I never cared for "Mad, Mad, World" very much, but this 21st century update was good for a few silly chuckles.

[indianasmith]

"Rat Race" (2001)
A Las Vegas casino mogul (John Cleese) chooses a group of random guests at his hotel and sends them on a cross-country race for a $2 million prize. Naturally, chaos and destruction follow as the group of crazed contestants vie to be the first ones to the finish line.
This old fashioned "race and chase" slapstick comedy in the vein of "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World" features lots of crashes, sight gags, and mayhem, and a cast that includes Whoopi Goldberg, Cuba Gooding Jr., Jon Lovitz, Seth Green, Dave Thomas, Rowan Atkinson, and many more. I never cared for "Mad, Mad, World" very much, but this 21st century update was good for a few silly chuckles.

One of my all-time favorite comedies!

[Alex]

Bullets for Justice.

Ok, so the background for this film is that the US and Russia went to war with each other, starting World War III. One side or the other started trying to breed supersoldiers who were a mix of pigs and humans. The hybrids turned on their creators, forcing both human factions to work together to try and defeat them. All they did was unleash a biological weapon that left both sides sterile, save for a pig mother, giving the hybrids a rather good long-term advantage.

Ok, so far there isn't anything too wild or strange going on.

This seems to be a film from Khazakstan, although it is set in the US. The hero is a bounty hunter working for the human resistance who seems to go through a series of female partners who inevitably get killed working with him, who he refers to as his sister. He is sent on a mission to take out a farm where the pigs breed humans to feed to the pig mother. Since all the other women are dead, he gets partnered up with another woman who genuinely does seem to be his sister, although like the other women he worked with, this does not stop her having sex with her.

The director by the way seems to have a real thing for shots of naked butts. You'll also see a fair amount of male genitalia on screen. The resistance has a secret base beneath a T-34 tank. I couldn't help wondering if this was the same lonely 80-year-old relic that was trundled out for the recent May Day parade. The head of the resistance wears a WW2 German uniform. Oh and the hero is obsessed with having lost a best-arse competition and is hunting the man who beat him to first place.

I still have another half-hour of this movie to go. His sister by the way (the one I think is really his sister), has a moustache, and all the assistants are called Raksha. I've seen stranger films but it is an odd one.

[Trevor]

His sister by the way (the one I think is really his sister), has a moustache,

[FatFreddysCat]

"Car Wash" (1976)
A self described "disco slacker comedy" about a typical work day at a downtown L.A. car wash, in which the employees goof off, play pranks on each other, and deal with a bizarre assortment of customers and passersby.
A funk-tastic soundtrack and a cast that includes Richard Pryor, George Carlin, Antonio "Huggy Bear" Fargas, and Garrett "SNL" Morris can't save this badly dated, mostly plotless Blaxploitation comedy with a few random laughs, but that's about all.

[Rev. Powell]

WE ARE THE STRANGE (2007): A trip inside the titular video game world to witness a battle between not-bad and evil that plays out in a combo of CGI, animation and stop-motion. With no meaningful plot, this movie is just an excuse for 90 minutes of ADD visual experiments which, while undoubtedly creative, quickly become exhausting. 2/5.

[FatFreddysCat]

"The Marine" (2006)
WWE wrestler John Cena made his film debut in this wildly over-the-top action flick, as a military man who goes all One Man Army when his wife is taken hostage by a gang of jewel thieves (led by the hilariously dry Robert "Terminator 2" Patrick). There's barely any plot to this movie, just a series of increasingly ridiculous action sequences (car chases, fist fights, explosions, etc.). It's dumb as a box of rocks, but "The Marine" has become a guilty pleasure for me. Shoot'em up, blow'em up fun!

"Mom and Dad" (2018)
A mysterious signal suddenly turns normal suburban parents into crazed killing machines who begin murdering their children. As a teenage girl and her younger brother attempt to escape from their parents' wrath (Nicolas Cage and Selma Blair) they eventually have to stand their ground and fight. A bizarre, but highly entertaining, ultra-violent horror comedy with great performances by the youngsters as well as Blair and Cage, who goes for broke with his so-hammy-it's-awesome crazy act. A pleasant surprise.

[RCMerchant]

WE
"Mom and Dad" (2018)
A mysterious signal suddenly turns normal suburban parents into crazed killing machines who begin murdering their children. As a teenage girl and her younger brother attempt to escape from their parents' wrath (Nicolas Cage and Selma Blair) they eventually have to stand their ground and fight. A bizarre, but highly entertaining, ultra-violent horror comedy with great performances by the youngsters as well as Blair and Cage, who goes for broke with his so-hammy-it's-awesome crazy act. A pleasant surprise.

MUST SEE.

[lester1/2jr]

"I've Lived Before" (1956) - for some reason, I really enjoyed this reincarnation themed B level sort of movie. A pilot almost crashes the airplane he's flying because he has flashbacks to his past life, which unfortunately for the passengers was that of a World War One flying ace. Safely on the ground, he's convinced he saw something related to the man on board ( a certain passenger) and this falls in line with similar experiences he's had in the past.

His poor young fiancee has to put up with all this and does her best to help him get to the bottom of everything. You could see it as a study on mental illness or a genuine exploration of the now largely discredited reincarnation concept. The film itself could have been a little more colorful and imaginative but they stick to the idea well.

Remember when people thought they had past lives? It was always a famous, significant person. Or the ESP craze

4.5 /5 

definitely unusual for it's time