The Truly Terrible Jokes Thread Part 2

Leah · May 30, 2020, 04:43:42 PM

Since the last the thread was up to Page 71 we should start over again.

You want to know why male brains mature slower than female brains?
Well it's because male brains fills up with dad jokes the older we get until it's fully groan.

indianasmith · May 30, 2020, 09:36:50 PM

What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?

He flushes!

Leah · June 01, 2020, 01:35:54 PM

What has 10 wheels and flies? A garbage truck.

indianasmith · June 01, 2020, 01:49:40 PM

Why do they bury lawyers in 100 foot shafts?

Because deep down, they're not that bad!

Leah · June 01, 2020, 02:22:54 PM

Why didn't the biologist and mechanical engineer get along? There wasn't any chemistry.

Allhallowsday · June 01, 2020, 02:27:30 PM

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says: "Why the long face?"

indianasmith · June 01, 2020, 03:37:45 PM

What's the difference between a chestful of gold and a missing 8th grader?

I don't have a chestful of gold buried in my back yard!

(I tell this to my new 7th graders every year; it keeps them in line for a few days!)

Allhallowsday · June 01, 2020, 06:54:01 PM

^ ugh

What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.

indianasmith · June 01, 2020, 08:45:14 PM

What's black and tan and looks good on a lawyer?

A Rottweiler!

Alex · June 03, 2020, 06:34:15 AM

I have decided to start breeding cattle on top of Mount Everest. Putting a whole lot of money into this project.

Truly, the steaks have never been higher.

RCMerchant · June 03, 2020, 08:15:48 AM

A drunk walks into a bar. He says to the bar tender-"I'll bet you 50 bucks I can p**s in 5 shot glasses and never spill a drop on your bar!" So the barkeep says- your on!

So the guy stands up on the bar and p**ses all over the place. The bar keep says "You owe me $50!"
The drunk says- "That's ok- I bet some other guy $250 I could stand up on top on top of the bar and p**s on it, and the bartender will be happy!"

Leah · June 13, 2020, 03:39:55 PM

My dad has the hear of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

RCMerchant · June 13, 2020, 05:50:13 PM

Today is National Ball Point Pen Day! (It really is!

).
Here's hoping everything in your day CLICKED!

Leah · June 13, 2020, 07:29:57 PM

When do you a bad joke becomes a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.

indianasmith · June 13, 2020, 09:29:54 PM

These two guys walked into a bar, which is really stupid because if the first one walked into it the second one should have seen it!