Weird questions

[RCMerchant]

Do you lick your computer screen to clean it?

[Trevor]

Do you lick your computer screen to clean it?

I was once asked by a client "Do you guys have toilets here?" I answered that we did all our business on the lawn outside, that's why it was so green. 

[ER]

On the infamous Scientology "Free Personality Test!" it asks: "Do you have a Mother? Do you have a Father?"

[RCMerchant]

^ 

"No I don't! I was born of a jackal!"

[ER]

^ 

"No I don't! I was born of a jackal!"

There ya go.

[claws]

Do you dance in the woods?

[RCMerchant]

I've had total strangers- like store clerks- ask me, "How did you get so short?"

"I dunno- how did you get so ugly?"

[ER]

When he was four my son asked me, "Was I born?"

[ER]

I also think it's weird when some security person at the airport asks if you're leaving the country to commit criminal acts. Isn't that contrary to the protection we have against self-incrimination? And what criminal would blurt out, "Yeah...."?

[RCMerchant]

When he was four my son asked me, "Was I born?"

^ "No. You have always been here. You just woke up one day."

[ER]

I've had total strangers- like store clerks- ask me, "How did you get so short?"

"I dunno- how did you get so ugly?"

Multi-purpose Simpsons'-based answer to stupid questions: "A wizard did it."

[ER]

It's also lame when you're pregnant and someone asks, "Are you having a boy or a girl?"
Like there's some third biological option? Duh.

[RCMerchant]

When I'm sitting in front of the diner on the bench smoking a cigarette, and some shmuck walked up to me and asked " Why are you smoking?"

I said- "Why aren't you?"

[LilCerberus]

I was once explaining my cousin's electric racebike to the electric car loving (but not buying) crowd at WRIR, & started talking up the performance potential of the bike.....

Someone had to ask, "Why would anybody wanna go that fast?"

I was totally perplexed at how anybody would have an issue with that, so some else interjected & explained how performance was more marketable.....

[LilCerberus]

Back in my early twenties, a lot of guys on temp jobs would ask me if I had any kids...
I would always say no, & then they would ask me "Why not?"

I mean, did I really need to explain the birds & the bees to these guys?