ER
B-Movie Kraken
Karma: 1761
Posts: 13484
The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters. (sic)
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« on: August 16, 2022, 05:39:54 PM » |
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It amused me to find this list I made (and posted here in 2015) of things I do to pass the time when I have insomnia.
1. Spend the night taking the labels off all the canned goods and mix the books up inside their dust jackets, then create elaborate story of how a ghost did it.
2. "Accidentally" drop a stack of baking trays in the kitchen...hey, why should they get to sleep when I can't, eh?
3. Call Dial-A-Psychic hotline and tell them if they can help me find the winning Power Ball ticket I lost somewhere in the house, I'll split the jackpot with them, set down the phone and go to the first place they've told me to look, shout for joy and say, "Yes! Yes! I'm going to be so rich!" then come back and tell them sorry, their intuition didn't work, and hang up the phone.
4. Carefully switch the sleeping kids around so that in the morning they wake up in a different bedroom, then tell them they must've imagined it.
5. Dress my dogs up as Kardashians.
6. Walk back and forth in front of the first-floor windows under a flowing white sheet.
7. Read the diary I kept as a teenager. Weep a little, curse life, then eat some chocolate and feel better about the fact that my glory days were twenty years ago.
8. Compose life-saving brown-nosing speech in case Lovecraftian Elder Gods rise to conquer the world. Excerpt: “Ygtp'poh bellegretch! Y'ug ho'leethpeeth!" Brilliant sucking-up, huh?)
9. Cut tiny random words from magazines to mail to my prison pen pal for the colorful letters she sends the judge who put her away.
10. Catch up on housework while planning tasteful attire for mother-in-law's eventual memorial service.
11. Send Nigerians emails about recent acquisitions of treasure I would like to split with them.
12. Compose long, rambling lists...
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