Truly awful movies you had to suffer thru.

Morpheus, the unwoke. · October 11, 2022, 12:13:25 AM

The thread about movies you dropped after 15 minutes made me remember a movie I wanted to drop after 5 minutes but I had to suffer thru despite the pain. Ooohhhhh, the pain, the horror, the agony.

It was called ''2025. The world enslaved by a virus''. Here was the tagline: ''It's 2025, The world as we have known in 2020 does not exist anymore. The Virus changed the world, and communism is all over the place. A global world language developed, meetings are illegal, traveling is illegal, and Christianity is illegal.''

Imagine a movie written by Jack Chick, and directed by somone with all Ed Wood's flaws and none of his redeeming qualities. Imagine a cast of people who would not be qualified to act in a 70's pr0n flick, in a movie with less budget than ''manos, the hands of fate''.

Even then you're only coming close to the abnegation of entertainment that is ''2025, TWEBAV''.

It is currently the lowest rated movie on letterboxd, for hell's sake.

Really, rather than go into how bad it is I'll just link you to a review page on imdb:
https://m.imdb.com/title/tt13788842/reviews?ref_=tt_urv

So why did I suffer thru this movie even as I bit the backs of my handstill they bled to distract me from the mental pain it caused me? Just to see what level people seeking to exploit covid would sink to. In a way i have to give them credit. They hit the bottom of the Marianas trench and kept going.

I'm kind of surprised at the end the villain's eyes didn't glow red to show they were actually demons or, possibly, Satan himself. I guess they didn't have the expertise for that level of fx.

Have you ever had to suffer thru a movie you yearned to get away from? What was it and what made you suffer thru it?

retrorussell · October 11, 2022, 03:13:35 AM

There's been a few-- the one I didn't quite make it all the way through (about 90 some percent through before I left to pee and didn't return to my seat because I couldn't take it any more) was BILLY MADISON.
It was torture to make it all the way through ALIEN RESURRECTION. Man, that was bad.
An early 80s movie called MIDNIGHT was really, really painful. Did a review of that one for this site. Trevor loves to torture me with memories or pictures of this one here and there.
Some people think of SALO as an art film or a "subtle" take on the dangers of fascism, or whatever. No, it's sensationalistic garbage. Other movies are not subtle and are a bit on the sensationalistic side but are much better (MEN BEHIND THE SUN). This was Pier Paolo Passolini's last film (before he was murdered), and he had made far, far better previously.

Trevor · October 11, 2022, 06:10:02 AM

The remake of Master Harold And The Boys as well as Invictus and District 9

Alex · October 11, 2022, 07:25:10 AM

Shin Godzilla and the first Hollywood version of Godzilla.

Gabriel Knight · October 11, 2022, 07:55:48 AM

CITIZEN KANE, without a doubt. Longest hours of my life. Staring at a blank wall would've been more entertaining. I have other experiences but that one marked me for life.

FatFreddysCat · October 11, 2022, 09:55:39 AM

Many years ago my wife rented Meet Joe Black. She enjoyed it (doubtlessly due to her lingering crush on Brad Pitt, but I was absolutely bored to tears (except for the scene when Pitt's character wanders into traffic and gets hit by several vehicles at once, which made me laugh so loudly that my wife said I was a terrible person).

Around the 90 minute mark I thought to myself "Well, this movie absolutely sucks, but at least it should be over soon..."

Then I glanced at the back of the VHS box and saw with horror that its' run time was a hair over THREE HOURS so I had another 90 minutes to go!

At that point, I understood why animals caught in traps will gnaw their legs off to escape.

Trevor · October 11, 2022, 10:13:28 AM

Quote from: FatFreddysCat on October 11, 2022, 09:55:39 AM

Around the 90 minute mark I thought to myself "Well, this movie absolutely sucks, but at least it should be over soon..."

Then I glanced at the back of the VHS box and saw with horror that its' run time was a hair over THREE HOURS so I had another 90 minutes to go!

At that point, I understood why animals caught in traps will gnaw their legs off to escape.

Trevor · October 11, 2022, 10:15:47 AM

Quote from: retrorussell on October 11, 2022, 03:13:35 AM
An early 80s movie called MIDNIGHT was really, really painful. Did a review of that one for this site. Trevor loves to torture me with memories or pictures of this one here and there.

The reason why I always 'torture' you with that movie is that your review of it genuinely gave me a good belly laugh, especially where you told the reader to "go egg Leonard Maltin's house".

http://www.badmovies.org/othermovies/midnight/

Cult_Moody_Movies · October 11, 2022, 10:30:06 AM

Underworld, Resident Evil and Van Helsing.

bob · October 11, 2022, 12:54:47 PM

Bad Boys, Hudson Hawk, Operation Dunkirk

Allhallowsday · October 11, 2022, 10:13:33 PM

I watched THE FOG (1980) last night. I like it; it's ridiculous. Truly awful.

IT'S ALIVE! (1969) more boring than can be described. LARRY BUCHANAN wasting film.

LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT (1972) A very important film for its success. I hate it.

I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE (1978) Loathsome.

CANNIBAL FEROX (1981) Exploitation cheap-fest. Low, mean-spirited garbage.

zombie no.one · October 14, 2022, 03:32:54 AM

People aren't saying why they had to endure these movies, as opposed to having the luxury of just switching off... kinda assumed that was OP's point?

Anyway a very close friend once hired out a mini cinema for his birthday, to screen COFFEE & CIGARETTES. There was about 20 of us crammed in this place, swelteringly hot, and although there were a couple of segments of this film I actually enjoyed (the Steve Coogan / Albert Molina bit is really good) the majority of the film was a big slog, and to be sat in silence in that environment, watching a very low key and pretty quiet film with many silent pauses, was just about the most un-birthday celebration type event ever. It was such a relief when it ended

indianasmith · October 14, 2022, 05:53:14 AM

FAMILY PROPERTY: BACKWOODS HILLBILLY MASSACRE

The back of the DVD case quoted a critic as saying "Quite Possibly the Worst Movie Ever Made."
I thought, "OK, challenge accepted!"
The critic was right. Painful to watch.

Gabriel Knight · October 14, 2022, 07:26:54 AM

Quote from: zombie no.one on October 14, 2022, 03:32:54 AM
People aren't saying why they had to endure these movies, as opposed to having the luxury of just switching off... kinda assumed that was OP's point?

Yes, you're right there. I watched CITIZEN KANE because apparently it's the best movie ever made, and I had to find out why. I did knew the meaning of the word "overrated" at that moment.

Another one I hated: INTERSTELLAR. Long, boring, pointless, and at times, completely unreasonable. It's basically CONTACT but without any of the existencial discussions that made that movie great. Instead it's Nolan's inflated ego being splashed all over the screen for three hours. I had to watch it because my girlfriend loved it and she could chose the movie that night. I longed for oblivion but never came.

zombie no.one · October 14, 2022, 09:17:10 AM

Quote from: Gabriel Knight on October 14, 2022, 07:26:54 AM
Yes, you're right there. I watched CITIZEN KANE because apparently it's the best movie ever made, and I had to find out why. I did knew the meaning of the word "overrated" at that moment.

Yeah think I'm with you there. They showed it at the nearby cinema when I was at uni... I went, and came out remembering nothing of what I just saw.