RECENT VIEWINGS (Bad Movie Thread!)

[Rev. Powell]

Tonight's Stinker
Italian Spiderman
https://youtu.be/RDB0HcHVw-I?si=KbFLlut4dEcwD5JC

Ugh... I don't know how to describe this...
A spoof of low budget super hero movies....

at least it spawned one of the all time great reaction gifs...

And the guys who made this went on to make the very funny Australian TV spoof "Danger 5," with secret agents fighting Hitler (in the 60s in the first season and the 80s in the second season):

[LilCerberus]

Tonight's Stinker
Italian Spiderman
https://youtu.be/RDB0HcHVw-I?si=KbFLlut4dEcwD5JC

Ugh... I don't know how to describe this...
A spoof of low budget super hero movies....

at least it spawned one of the all time great reaction gifs...

       

[LilCerberus]

Tonight's Stinker
Rewind This! (2013)
https://youtu.be/A9suzljYwic?si=GYsZ1SUK5jANUidB

A documentary about the evolution of VHS, how it went from second run movies to Strait To Video releases, & so on & so forth....
With interviews of producers, directors & personalities of the home video craze...
Yes, it includes some porn, as it revolutionized THAT market as well...

[Trevor]

I had to watch Tigers Don't Cry, The Jackals and The Cape Town Affair again 😳

[LilCerberus]

I had to watch Tigers Don't Cry, The Jackals and The Cape Town Affair again 😳

One of the things they touched on in Rewind This!, was how regional obscurities started finding their way to other countries.....

[M.10rda]

My OCD and ASD has compelled another loose thematic movie spree, w/ SHE-DEMONS posted correctly in the "Good Movie" section and SHE-DEVILS OF THE SS incorrectly posted in the same. This next one is the work of the one and only HerschelL Gordon Lewis so it unequivocally belongs here:

SHE-DEVILS ON WHEELS (1968):
I find most of HGL's gore films distasteful and mean-spirited, on top of the fact of course that they're sub-garbage in terms of quality. Almost all his other work in disparate genres is equally shoddy and sometimes excruciatingly dull, but at least the non-gore films have a certain moronic cheerfulness that I find mildly diverting. This girl gang schlockfest is an exemplar of that HGL sub-genre. I don't know enough about female motorcycle gangs to credibly judge if anyone in the large female cast could ever survive in a real one, but they all look like they're having a good time together onscreen. It would be a stretch to say anyone gives a particularly good or professional performance, but each one of the "Maneaters" is reasonably distinct in my mind, so that's something.

And here's a slightly less modest compliment: when placed beside HGL's gore films, in which women are treated like objects and/or meat (often literally!), SHE-DEVILS ON WHEELS looks reasonably progressive in its gender politics. The screenplay is credited to Louise Downe, who co-wrote BLOOD FEAST and THE GRUESOME TWOSOME but notably wasn't involved in the ultra-misogynistic 2000 MANIACS, COLOR ME BLOOD RED, WIZARD OF GORE, or GORE-GORE GIRLS. Downe's biker ladies compete with each other and police each other when one gets out of line, but they also celebrate each other's accomplishments. They get to pick their male partners from a huge harem of eager (yet respectful, even docile) boy groupies, which is a pleasing inversion of the era's norms. They mock the one plus-sized biker for her weight (of course), but she also gets two sex partners instead of just one. And when the scummy XY rival gang targets one of the Maneaters, the other girls don't need no steenkin' male pigs to step in and arbitrate... these ladies are gonna' get even on their own terms.

Don't get me wrong - this is still textbook Bad Moviemaking in all the standard ways. HGL has no regard for continuity in editing. The camera shakes even sometimes in static shots. At least a full eighth of the film is devoted to characters arriving at locations, departing from locations, or driving/riding their vehicles in extreme wide-shot. There is a little gore, though, and the climactic effect, though somewhat preposterous, seems entirely original. The only other time I've seen it in a movie was in 2013's THE COUNSELOR, which means it's possible that Ridley Scott (!) actually bogarted material from Herschell Gordon Lewis (?!?!?!). 

2/5

Downer pre-credits ending but then a post-credits coda that assures us it's all a larf and we shouldn't take it seriously. Fine by me.

[Rev. Powell]

"Psycho Ape: Part II - The Wrath of Kong" (2004): A supposed sequel to PSYCHO APE made for under $8000, it's really just a bunch of low-budget improvised comedy scenes. The loose plot has Psycho Ape being released from prison after 25 years, then reuniting with his adversaries from the 1st movie, who take him in to their household (living as a "throuple," although there's no suggestion of sex). The characters all know they're in a movie, there's a pair of ghosts of victims from the first "Psycho Ape" hanging around, when a character is decapitated her head is a smashed watermelon, some kids smoke pot and watch the movie and comment on it, there's a break to pitch merch, the "low-budget news channel" covers the trial, you get some geriatric nudity, a lot of parodies of other movies (including PSYCHO, but topless), the lead actor gets his ear pierced on Venice Beach in a documentary-style scene... stuff like that. It's only an hour long and a bit like a crazy episode of "Monty Python's Flying Circus" put on by people with less talent. I don't think seeing the first film would add anything. Really hard to rate; some people will appreciate the silly humor and the fact that you can't predict what will come next, but although the cast is clearly having a blast, I couldn't really recommend it. Plus I'm not sure it's easy to find, you have to either back their kickstarter or catch it on an indie streaming platform I've never heard of. I'm going with 1.5/5 for good intentions.

[zombie no.one]

CONVOY (1978)

Lasted 25 minutes. no more. complete tripe. not funny. 'good guys' (presumably?) who are more loathesome than most villains... the phrase "son of a b***h" said at least 6 times, unprompted. not even as part of a sentence.  how can anyone last 1hr 43mins of this toxic aimless drivel? I don't drink or drive a truck, maybe that's why I'm not connecting with it.

[LilCerberus]

Jabberwocky (1971)
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0067259/
https://youtu.be/hmxhzZmyw04?si=3J-FIW2b1UVqk4o1

Short stop-motion anime full of creepy Eastern European art $#*!

[zombie no.one]

CONAN THE DESTROYER (1985)

Maybe I'm just in a post-CONVOY slump, but this has completely washed over me... Arnie, muscles, swords, running, swords... not really doing it for me. It's rare I try and fit 2 movies into one evening, probably overload

[zombie no.one]

CROCODILE 2 (2002)

Not directed by Tobe Hooper. first 20 mins are actually very fun badmovie nonsense. hyper cheesy. then the plane crash happens and it turns into a slog as they all mope around endlessly in a swamp / jungle area, with occasional croc encounters. It's okay-ish I guess.

[pacman000]

Seven Alone

Instead of staying in the Midwest, where they actually seem to have a nice life, a family joins the Oregon Trail. About halfway through, the parents die, leaving their young son in charge. He's determined to get his siblings to Oregon. Whether or not this determination is good or just pig headed is up to the viewer. I can understand wanting to finish his dad's quest, but he nearly gets his family killed a few times in the process. Technically, the kid is learning responsibility, but I'm not sure he's doing a good job using it.

Then again, there were quite a few challenges even before their parents passed. The pioneer life wasn't easy. Apparently based on a true story.

Some nice scenery, tho the print was washed out. End is abrupt. Sometimes slow, but worth a watch if you like movies about American pioneers. Might also appeal to fans of Tom Sawyer, Huck Finn, & similar characters.

[LilCerberus]

Tonight's Stinker
STAR KNIGHT (1985)
https://youtu.be/UWJBN5qFps4?si=MzHffd0ZY6w62w5B

During medieval times, a wizard (Klaus Kinski) prays for an angel, and the next thing y'know, the villagers are demanding the local count to do something about a Dragon.... Of course, the count has his own problems with a social climbing soldier, a rebellious daughter and a priest who sees evil everywhere...
However, the angel/dragon is really a space alien (Harvey Keitel) who falls for the princess, but can't take off his helmet, or he'll suffocate...

Really bad VHS dub with re-dubbed audio...
Sorta plays out like an SNL skit that got turned into a movie, like a fairy tale with four letter words & some nudity, that starts out with everyone talking backwards like Yoda....

[zombie no.one]

^ I would've thought I'd have at least heard of this considering the actors but nope.....


MOTHER OF TEARS (2007)

Even as an Argento forgiver-of-bad-stuff this was still kind of unwatchable... apparently I'd seen it before, but I remembered zilch.

to paraphrase the cliche, it's a case of 'lack of style over lack of substance' here. too much blaahh not enough woooo. I still think I'd be able to get through THE CARD PLAYER, but this was too much to endure

[LilCerberus]

Tonight's Stinker
Aftershock (1990)
https://youtu.be/mssJme9KJPc?si=5zUxmantE0PmyqXP

After WW3, raggedy rebels face off with men in black jumpsuits, when an alien shows up....

Mostly kung-fu, with a few decent b-movie veterans...