RECENT VIEWINGS (Bad Movie Thread!)

[Dalmatian Bobby Samaritan]

Not many films make me angry but this one does.  I think it's the worse Star Wars cash-in of the time.  At least films like War of the Robots tried to have some excitement in them.  This is so shoddily made in all departments I can't even call it so-bad-it's-good.  The effects are amateurish. They don't even bother with laser effects - any of the lame battles are fought using cattle prods.  The location used to represent various planets is just scrubland.  The writing and pacing is immensely childlike, lazy and boring and the cast clearly have problems mustering any enthusiasm - who could blame them.  Attaching Wells' name to it is the ultimate insult.

1979, the same year as the book The Brethren (The Inside the Supreme Court book written by Bob Woodward and Scott Armstrong) was written? Ok. A worse cash in than Mandalorian and Grogu or Chuck Schumer farting on the Senate house floor while giving his Iran speech? Are you saying that you would have loved to stand behind that?

So correct me if I am wrong but Boba Fett was the bad guy right and yoda was the the good guy.    Or is it the opposite? And a Shape of Things to come was a book written by H.G. Wells. Never read it but I suppose that each is entitled to their opinion. I mean how about all of those Land Before Time sequels that went straight to video that were nothing more than merchandising shark schemes. And I loved Land Before Time and I generally hate cartoons. So explain that.

I guess I am a little confused as to what a cash in is these days. I mean if it is Star Wars, who cares. That movie has made a ton already. (Why can't we be talking about a Cash in for Boys From Brazil or The Da Vinci Code. This movie that you are talking about was made only two years after the release of the original star wars. Tell me about a Cash in on Ivanhoe. How about Shirley maclaine's cash in on her belief that she can communicate with aliens from Zeta Reticuli or the Pleiadians.)

[M.10rda]

I assume you are consciously gesturing to OUT ON A LIMB, the two-part/four-hour miniseries from the 80s adapted from MacLaine's own memoir and starring MacLaine as herself. I endured the first evening for the aliens but there were no aliens in Part 1, only romantic melodrama. On night 2 I think I made it 25 minutes in and then nodded off and missed the aliens. 

[LilCerberus]

Tonight's Stinker
Hells Angels on Wheels(1967)
https://youtu.be/K_TspgXRbMg?si=be_rocIUpMKVFYfF

Hell's Angels cruise around San Francisco, cause some trouble, the pull up to a gas station, where Jack Nicholson works as an attendant.... He gets fired after mouthing off at an impatient customer who doesn't like being one pump over from bikers.... He later shows up at their hangout, where he get in it with one of the Angels when they break his headlamp.... The leader (Adam Roark) breaks it up & offers him a new headlamp if he follows them, to a rumble.... Afterwards, he falls for one of the girls, but she's not into monogamy....
Following a gratingly long party scene, the Angels decide to make Jack a perspective member....

Lots of riding & rumbles, with very little time put into story development....
Failed to sit through this one as a kid, & quickly remembered why.....

[LilCerberus]

Tonight's Stinker
A Noose Is Waiting for You Trinity(1972)
https://youtu.be/VLVTonRRwaQ?si=g2rOyEOJToDsMjq4

A gunfighter rides into town, Remembers how his newlywed brother was murdered, finds the killer, & shoots him...
Six years later, he rides back into town, finds out about the hardships his wife & kids went through after he left, then kills the killer's three friends....
He rides back to his old home in hopes of winning back his wife & kids, & promises not to use a gun again...
Unfortunately, he has to deal with a group of thugs working for a local landgrabber, while Klaus Kinski shows up as a bounty hunter who spends most of his time standing around & watching....

Supposed to be a sequel to an identical film, but really not that original to begin with, just tries to stay sappy most of the time.....

[Dalmatian Bobby Samaritan]

I assume you are consciously gesturing to OUT ON A LIMB, the two-part/four-hour miniseries from the 80s adapted from MacLaine's own memoir and starring MacLaine as herself. I endured the first evening for the aliens but there were no aliens in Part 1, only romantic melodrama. On night 2 I think I made it 25 minutes in and then nodded off and missed the aliens. 

I mean everyone, even Hollywood people and even the strangeness that apparently lurks around there is entitled to their own beliefs. I have a personal grudge against the Pleiadians. I think they are the reason when you see Bicycles locked up now, that people have to literally get bars the size of your arm to prevent theft. I blame Shirly Maclaine too, partially at least for that.

[M.10rda]

- - - Shurley MacLuine is the woman who will not be blamed for nothing - - -

[M.10rda]

DO NOT ENTER (2026) - This was a pretty cool found footage film about a group of Instagram urban explorers who break into a hotel where gangster Meyers Lansky supposedly hid some $300 million of his loot, only to find the place is haunted by something not quite human.  Really well done overall, although the ending was a little cheesy.  A solid 4/5.

We watched this over the weekend partially on Indiana's recommendation. Uhh. Well, no need for me to spend several paragraphs enumerating each thing about this film that made no sense or didn't work for us - that would be... everything about the film - dialogue, plot, lighting, editing, direction, acting (excepting perhaps the very earnest off-brand Gerard Butler guy who's wandered in from a different movie). Okay, I'll single out one particular area of the film for ridicule: we simply couldn't make sense of its (fictional, theoretically cool) location - an enormous abandoned hotel on the Jersey Shore where real estate isn't exactly valuable or anything which has been totally abandoned since either the death of Meyer Lanski (in 1983, hmm) or else it's been abandoned for less time (maybe only since the owner ate his wife's heart and became a seven-foot tall bald albino mutant) except for however much time it's been abandoned people have been going there to search for Lansky's hidden fortune, which is laying out in plain sight in an unlocked room that two characters literally run into accidentally yet that fortune's never previously been found pluswhich the hotel still has electricity and plenty of lights and a security system left running (who's paying the bill???) and cut-rate Gerard Butler's wife disappeared into the hotel and never returned "two and a half months ago" but when he finds her body it's perfectly preserved and intact but also her friend who was disappeared with her turns up alive (has she subsisted on the rats and bugs who otherwise would have eaten Mrs. Butler's body???)      - - - and so on.

All that said, this film is so ridiculous and so haphazardly constructed by the end that it's impossible to take it even a little seriously (unlike say this year's OBSESSION, which is occasionally competent enough to make its many many shortcomings loathsome and offensive) - and thus, impossible to really hate or be mad at it. Ergo as DNE reached an ending that I agreed was pretty "cheesy", it is so clearly such a Bad Movie that it really belongs on this website and I'm glad that Indiana rec'd so much enjoyment from it. What else are bad movies for?

My 1/5 plus Indiana's 4/5 makes for a perfect badfilm 5/5. 

[indianasmith]

DO NOT ENTER (2026) - This was a pretty cool found footage film about a group of Instagram urban explorers who break into a hotel where gangster Meyers Lansky supposedly hid some $300 million of his loot, only to find the place is haunted by something not quite human.  Really well done overall, although the ending was a little cheesy.  A solid 4/5.

We watched this over the weekend partially on Indiana's recommendation. Uhh. Well, no need for me to spend several paragraphs enumerating each thing about this film that made no sense or didn't work for us - that would be... everything about the film - dialogue, plot, lighting, editing, direction, acting (excepting perhaps the very earnest off-brand Gerard Butler guy who's wandered in from a different movie). Okay, I'll single out one particular area of the film for ridicule: we simply couldn't make sense of its (fictional, theoretically cool) location - an enormous abandoned hotel on the Jersey Shore where real estate isn't exactly valuable or anything which has been totally abandoned since either the death of Meyer Lanski (in 1983, hmm) or else it's been abandoned for less time (maybe only since the owner ate his wife's heart and became a seven-foot tall bald albino mutant) except for however much time it's been abandoned people have been going there to search for Lansky's hidden fortune, which is laying out in plain sight in an unlocked room that two characters literally run into accidentally yet that fortune's never previously been found pluswhich the hotel still has electricity and plenty of lights and a security system left running (who's paying the bill???) and cut-rate Gerard Butler's wife disappeared into the hotel and never returned "two and a half months ago" but when he finds her body it's perfectly preserved and intact but also her friend who was disappeared with her turns up alive (has she subsisted on the rats and bugs who otherwise would have eaten Mrs. Butler's body???)      - - - and so on.

All that said, this film is so ridiculous and so haphazardly constructed by the end that it's impossible to take it even a little seriously (unlike say this year's OBSESSION, which is occasionally competent enough to make its many many shortcomings loathsome and offensive) - and thus, impossible to really hate or be mad at it. Ergo as DNE reached an ending that I agreed was pretty "cheesy", it is so clearly such a Bad Movie that it really belongs on this website and I'm glad that Indiana rec'd so much enjoyment from it. What else are bad movies for?

My 1/5 plus Indiana's 4/5 makes for a perfect badfilm 5/5. 

There's one for the "Things I learned from bad movies" thread - abandoned buildings will always have perfectly working electricity!