RECENT VIEWINGS (Bad Movie Thread!)

[chainsaw midget]

Kill Her Goats (2023)

A beautiful big breasted blonde has just graduated college, so her rich father buys her a house.  SAhe decideds to invite a few of her friends over for a girls' night, where they strip down to their undewrwear, take showers, and then hang out in their underwear.  Lots of underwear.  Except when they take it off. 


HOWEVER... this house has a reputatio for being haunted.  Or not. 
Then a maniac wearing a goat mask (played by Kane Hodder) shows up and starts killing people.  At one point, one of the women is killed in her dreams by somebody with a goat face when our goastfaced killer is busy elsewhere killing somebody else.  These weird dream powers are never explained. 

Also at one point, the killer has two chainsaws stuck together with sparklers on them. 


Eventually our leading lady kills Goatface by decapitating him. 


He shows up a scene later alive-and-well, and nobody mentions how. 

There's also a couple of goats that show up.  Again, no idea why. 

The killer is revealed to be ... well, I won't spoil that, but he's just a guy, one that does NOT have supernatural dream powers nor is he a ghost or anything.  He's just a guy. 

Eventually, Goatface gets killed again, and the person responsible suddenly goes crazy and tries to kill her sister. 

The gore is actually pretty good in a practicle effects/80s slasher kind of way but the plot is very much like the women's outfits. Not always there and very skimpy when it is. 

If I had to compare this to any more, I'd say it strongly resembles the Slumber Party Massacre 2.  So, if you like that kind of thing, check it out. 

[M.10rda]

Kill Her Goats (2023)

This could also be the title of a SEVERANCE S2 episode.

[M.10rda]

PRACTICAL MAGIC 2 (2026):
Madame wanted to watch this. We could have spent $24 on seeing it at the drive-in but she was wise enough to wait for streaming. Here's how our conversation went last Saturday:
"Are you sure you want to watch this with me?"

"Yeah..." Hey, it's about witches - that's kinda' Halloweenish. Also Stockard Channing.

"Arya Stark is in it..."

     "Hell yes I'll watch PRACTICAL MAGIC 2!!!"      

...Well...

24 hours later Madame was still complaining about this movie. That's how bad it is. Although she enjoys watching all kinds of rom-com schlock, she's actually much more vicious about bad movies than I am. Her primary complaint seemed to be that Lee Pace, in spite of being (essentially) naked, failed to redeem the film for her. She loves Lee Pace. His character is utterly gratuitous and makes no sense, FTR. The kid from "Cobra Kai" and BLUE BEETLE is also in it... in a coma for two hours. 

There are light horror elements. There are three deaths (more than a lot of rom-coms). Two characters are stabbed in the heart (!) and live/have no wounds.  By the climax things deteriorate into Harry Potter-style horse$#!t.

Bullock (62) and Kidman (59) have had a lot of work done and it's getting harder for them to emote w/ their faces. Much of the running time is commanded by them doing awkward (improvised?) comedy patter, and Bullock's humor chops have altogether evaporated. She looks a lot like imminent pre-death Michael Jackson in many close-ups. Kidman actually looks okay - she's a redhead anyway.

Joey King plays one of their kids and also looks weird, but Hot-weird and she comes by it naturally. (She didn't need to get her face paralyzed or sliced up w/ scalpels to look weird.) Dianne Wiest (78) looks totally natural and good. Stockard Channing (82) has had some work done but looks better for 82 than Bullock does for 62.

Maisie Williams is fifth-billed and (of course) looks extraordinarily (naturally) lovely and is very entertaining - mostly reacting to lines from other characters. The internet seems pretty upset about how she's treated in this film - and I am too. She plays a brain surgeon, so when Xolo M. is hit by a car and enters a coma, one might expect Maisie to have to learn magic in order to save Xolo's life w/ magical brain surgery. Nope!  She and Stockard sit in a room staring at unconscious Xolo for two hours while Bullock, Kidman, and King have actual adventures.

Still, Maisie and Stockard sitting around a room staring is a hard 2.5/5 for me.       I think I enjoyed this stupid, stoooooooooooopid movie more than my wife.

Elsa Lanchester used to routinely get fifth-billing for doing very little in dumb movies. If Maisie's career is only as good as Elsa's, I'll be okay w/ that, but I'm holding out for more!