New Madonna Flick BURNS THE EYES

[Cullen]

Well, not really.  But not for lack of trying.

This is from the IMDb (highlights version):

Madonna and Guy Ritchie's forthcoming movie Swept Away is "unintentionally hilarious" - according to a New York critic who has seen the ill- fated flick...has been re-edited several times after bad responses from test audiences...some reports claim the movie will go straight to video or cable..."The audience laughed, giggled and squirmed throughout the unintentionally hilarious film until one audience member yelled, 'Jesus, no! Make it end!'"...."...Madonna says 'f**k' a lot and she gets slapped in the face three times, but the movie was a complete bore."

Madonna?  In a BAD movie!  Get out of town!  You serious?  Who'da thunk?

Slapped three times, hmm?  Might have to watch this one.
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Cullen - Who might not be Madona's biggest fan.

[Chadzilla]

But she gets SLAPPED!

[Redjack]

IF she got slapped with a two-by-four,  that might be worth paying to see.

[Cullen]

Never said I'd PAY to see it.

It'll come to cable.

EVERYTHING comes to cable.
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[raj]

Hmm, how about a fundraiser on Fox.  "Celebrities you'd pay to see slapped"  Phone in a pledge & a request, the ones with the most money get slapped on national TV. . .

Probably could pay off the national debt with that show.  Wouldn't it be worth $10 to see Madonna get slapped before a live studio audience?

[Chadzilla]

It's be more fun than that SLAP HILARY cartoon my mom and dad keep sending me!

[Squishy]

Chadzilla, stop politicizing everything!!! You can't post that! Stop it stop it stop it stop ittttttttt!! ;)

"Swept Away" may just be the most appropriately-titled movie since "Burn Hollywood Burn." Madonna's next project is a "Latino version" of "A Star Is Born." God help us...in the future.

Next on FOX: "Celebrity Bareknuckle Fighting!!" Madonna versus Steven Seagal!

(Unfortunately, Madonna wins the round, then the one against Chuck Norris, which is over with one good right hook. However, while Rosanne Barr is technically unable to display "knuckles," her hip dislocates as she staggers across the stage and she collaspes on Madonna, sending Madonna's instantly-jellied internal organs squirting out of her nose. Hooray!)

[Redjack]

hell yes!  I'd pay $20 to watch that Ally Mcbeal chick get beat down with a week old loaf of pumpernickle.

[Redjack]

Roflmao!  

made me spray beer all over my monitor!  lol thats a funny mental image.

[Cullen]

Redjack, for shame!

That would break that poor woman in half.

[Steven Millan]

               Another avoidable remake worth skipping.
          See Lina Weinmueller's vastly entertaining 1977 original whenever you get the rare chance to;it's well worth the effort.

[Babydoll]

Is Madonna's movie "BURNS THE EYES" a remake of "The Blue Lagoon"?

[Redjack]

Maybe so.. but the big question is,  would anyone be able to tell?

[Cullen]

No, no,  the burning of eyes is what you get from watching the film.  Or any Madonna film.
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[Squishy]

That IS a good idea for a title, though...maybe fodder for a new thread, Cullen? You could present a title ("Shatters The Eardrums") and everyone else could pick the star preceeding it (Mariah Carey).