THEY... an interesting trip to the theater.

[Dano]

Saw They last night and it was probably the weirdest experience I've ever had going to the movies.

1st off, my wife and I were the ONLY ones in the theater.  That's just bizarre.  Granted I live in a city that was just dumped on with snow and does not have what a native northerner like myself would call a "snow plow service," but TWO lousy people to see the movie?  Weird... and most definitely not a good sign for the movie.

2nd, the trailers revealed some of the most eye-rolling crap I've seen in a preview.  "Drum Line" is about a college marching band (yawn) that gets a jolt when a cocky young plays-by-his-own-rules drummer tries out (laughs hysterically).  I also saw the trailer for "Final Destination II" - a seemingly contradictory title if there ever was one.  I hope they tie up all those loose ends and rejoin the lives of those marvelously developed characters from the first movie.  The most interesting pre-movie feature was a Nissan ad that showed the car zipping around the streets of Prague, and only that because I've been there.

3rd, when the movie started, instead of the MPAA  shot showing "Rated R" we got a "British Film Something-or-Other Bureau" telling us the movie was approved for anyone over 15.  I guess the theater accidentally got a British copy of the film shipped to it... and somewhere in England there is a teenage usher kicking all the 15 and 16 year olds out of the "R rated" movie.

The movie itself was kind of hohum.  A few scenes done well.  Some neat effects.  A pretty girl.  But overall a major disappointment.  Marc Blucas should have his acting license revoked.  Additionally, there was a seemingly major plot point that was just abandoned and wound up being meaningless, and the finale made absolutely no sense whatsoever given the fact that the monsters disappear in direct light.  I give it two slimes and I'm being generous because of the neat weird stuff that happened at the theater.

[Creepozoid]

Ugh. Again! Why do people say the ending of this movie makes o sense? The messgae is perfectly clear and you have to be (no offense) retarded not to get it. Ignore this person. THEY ranks up there with WITCHBOARD and PUMPKINHEAD for being the most underrated movie ever.

[Dano]

Please explain how "They" broke into a room FLOODED WITH SUNLIGHT to kidnap the girl at the end when earlier in the movie, they were scared away by a RED-TINTED 20 WATT SUBWAY TUNNEL LIGHT????  That makes sense how, exactly?

[wuggles451]

seeing "They" had to be the worst 7 dollars ive ever spent the plot mad little sense which wouldnt really matter if the movie actually had a point.. i was one of 5 ppl in the theatre... i could sum my point up in two words NOT SCARY... movies seldom are anymore though.. and why did Wes Craven attatch his name to this steaming pile THUMBS DOWN EVERY ONE AVOID "THEY"

[J.R.]

I don't understand why having "Wes Craven Presents" above the title is supposed to be a selling point. I guess it's to capitalize off the success of Scream, but do people really care that he made those movies? In my eyes The Serpent And The Rainbow was his last good film.

[Creepozoid]

Oh. well actually, I didn't even notice that and when I don't notice those things it means that the movie is good...or that I'm very easy to please.

[Dano]

What the hell was with the thing the girl took out of her head??  A homing device?  If so, how did they still find her after she ditched it??  If not, then WHAT WAS IT???  Did they rush to finish this movie and forget the plot??  That was the plot point they abandoned to my chagrin.  

I think Wes Craven just got a truckload of money for the use of his name in the title.  He did not write, direct, produce, or star in this film.

[Squishy]

About the trailers:

I see trailers for "Drumline" everytime I turn on the tube; it's running more often than "Eight Crazy Nights" did. Could very well be the howler of the year--school band competition drama! Whoo-hoo!

"Final Destination 2" will bring back the female lead, but not the male lead from the original. Having cheated death, she now has (for some reason) visions of its "plans" and tries to prevent more violent ends--but success leads to even worse tragedy. Translation: line 'em up, knock 'em down, with more over-the-top Rube-Goldberg-inspired gore-spraying death scenes. "FD2," like almost all slasher crap, looks like just another "faux snuff" film designed to appeal to the socially impaired. Which is a damn shame, because both basic plot ideas are actually pretty interesting...

All the latest trailers are right here.

About "They:"

Eck, the movie's best selling point is the fact that Wes Craven DIDN'T actually have anything to do with it. He's had a couple of hits, and a barrelload of misses; I sat through "Deadly Blessing," "Deadly Friend," and "A Nightmare On Elm Street," which were bad enough--but once crud like "Wes Craven's New Nightmare" was being pressed into my face like some fat dog's flatulent ass, I'd had it with him. Because of him (and Brian DePalma), "surprise" is-it-a-dream-or-not? endings make me foam at the mouth faster than a kick in the pills.

[J.R.]

Drumline. Ugh. It looks like one of those "lifestyle" movies that tries to capture the essence of a particular activity and its participants, but is just the same underdog-proves-him/herself-and-wins-the-big-game story we've seen eight bazillion times. I'm a drummer, and played in a drumline in high school, and nothing in that trailer looks familiar. We didn't do pushups, that's for sure.

Final Destination 2. Ali larter is a terrible, terrible, terrible actress. And they couldn't even bring back Devon Sawa. I guess he's too big a star for that now, what with his monster hits Slackers and Extreme Ops.

Wes Craven is like most other horror auteurs of his generation; two good movies and about two dozen crappy ones. A Nightmare On Elm Street and The Serpent And The Rainbow are his good ones, and Scream was okay, but what it did to mainstream horror shall never be forgiven.

[Dano]

The thing I cannot forget about the "Drum Line" trailer is when the cocky young drum player and the older "Alpha"-drum player decide - apparently in private - to "square off" and have some kind of drum fight where they play while staring intensely at each other and finish off by pointing their drum sticks right at the other's face trying to look tough and not back down or something.  (JR - I will take your word for it that this is not an ACTUAL drum line dominance establishment ritual).  Quite reminiscent of the "bartending contests" of Cocktail.  This one looks like a definite rental for those who love to laugh.  When Orlando Jones is apparently playing the stodgy authority figure, you just know they're not going to get ANYTHING right.

Final Destination II:  I agree with Squishy that the idea is interesting - and I think it actually might have worked in the first movie without the stupid cartoon violence.  Say what you want about Ali Larter - I like watching her.  BUT, she wasn't enough to get me to rent that ridiculous "American Outlaws" (or something like that) movie, and she won't be enough to get me into FD2.  I can't believe they're lazy and uncreative enough to do a sequel of Final Destination instead of just doing something original.  Worst decision to make a sequel since Urban Legend Final Cut.

I guess it is kind of funny that tacking Wes Craven's name on a movie is expected to sell tickets - though it probably does.  I bet there's people out there who couldn't name one movie he actually did... but who vaguely associate his name with scary movies and will think his name means something.  He is kind of a Krusty the Klown character if you think about it, the way he shamelessly pitches any product that will pay him.  I can picture him taking the suitcase full of money and signing his name over without actually even seeing "They."

[Scottie]

Drumline is a very focus grouped movie.... mainly for people in high school... who are in band... and more than likely, are black. That's about all.

-Scott*

[Perk]

I decided to stop watching movies that had a Wes Craven presents  byline after seeing Wes Craven's CArnival Of Souls.  That was the most agitating film I have ever seen.  The reason I rented it was because of the Wes Craven (and because I thought it was another movie).  But after that filth I decided that Wes Craven Present's movies were off limits (Even though I did like Mind Ripper a little bit).

[Brock]

It moved kind of slow, and the chick was ugly and bird-like, but it really grew on me.  It got more intense as it went on, and I thought the ending was super creepy.  I see a lot of horror movies, and I enjoy them, but this is the first one in a long time to actually scare me beyond just the jump scenes.

Of course, the fact that I was the only one in the theater for it and the fact that after it was over, the entire theater was entirely deserted didn't help.

As for the plot holes, I don't think they really matter.  I mean, no one goes to a horror movie expecting a really tight storyline.  That's not the point.  I think that the thing in her head was creepier when it was unexplained, as were the creatures themselves.  For a while I really wasn't sure if they were real or is the bird chick was insane.  As for the sunlight at the very end, I'd have to see it agian to be sure, but I'm pretty sure it was dark enough.  I didn't really notice, so that probably means it wasn't TOO bright in the room.

[JohnL]

>Ali larter is a terrible, terrible, terrible actress.

But VERY easy on the eyes. :)

>The thing I cannot forget about the "Drum Line" trailer is when the cocky young
>drum player and the older "Alpha"-drum player decide - apparently in private -
>to "square off" and have some kind of drum fight where they play while staring
>intensely

Sounds like one of those incredibly stupid 80's dance movies where the tough guys settle disputes by dancing. BLECH!

[Chadzilla]

Somewhere in They and in the discard vault of Dimension Studios (aka Miramax aka DISNEY) is a tense and intelligent thriller.  Sadly Dimension has about as much respect for genre as the Nazi's did for the Jews.  THEY looks like another studio tampered hatchet job...I swear I wonder WHY Robert Harmon didn't go the Alan Smithee route.  I would have.

You know the main charactor's psycology major and its defense had A LOT more to do with the creature back story (and those implants) that what made it into the movie, there is just enough footage there to see the cuts and trims.  Also it cheesed me that the suicidal nutjob said he was certain POE had seen them.  LOVECRAFT would have been a far better, and much more intelligent, choice.

Rick Bota (director of two upcoming DTV Hellraiser sequels) is listed in the end credits as DP on "supplemental footage"...just what did he add?  I hazard the guess that it was the pre-credit sequence, the funeral, and just about everything to do with the painter and his girlfriend (considering those attack scenes - some of which happened in BROAD DAYLIGHT and WELL LIT ROOMS - were clumsily mounted in comparison to the attacks on the female lead, which were just creepy enough to work - only the swimming girl's run in with one of the beasties in the air duct came close to Harmon's is that a beastie or my imagination highjinks).

Geez, I can't even remember the characters NAMES, how bad is that?

And I hate the ending simply because the movie DOESN'T end, it just stops.  Chances are that was a tack on ending as well...

Still, I liked enough of what was left of Harmon's version to consider it an entertaining failure...

Previews I saw - Drumline (oh puh-leeze), The Hot Chick (it looks even uglier that second time I saw it), Final Destination 2 (I'll see it), House of 1,000 Corpses (you know, I like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre as well Mr. Zombie, yawn), and Darkness Falls (the OTHER night terror, stay in the light and out of the dark, monster movie - which looks to be moderately better than THEY, which isn't saying much).