|NIGHT OF THE ZOMBIES
|Copyright 1981 Films Dara
| Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'
- Vincent - Interpol agent, suffers from a serious case of "I'm a nice guy." Chomped.
- Lea - Female reporter, she's a great deal better looking with her top off. Turned into human mush.
- Lieutenant Mike London - Leader of the crack Interpol unit, a strangely poetic man... ...until he gets munched.
- Santoro - Unbalanced guy, he enjoys playing "keep away" with the beasties. Eventually fails to "keep away."
- Two Dudes - One is Lea's cameraman, the other an Interpol guy. Both become zombie chow.
- Josie, Hubby, and the Kid - Fodder, she gets eaten by a random zombie and the kid becomes one then chews his dad's neck out.
- The Zombies - Created by a chemical/nuclear accident, something like that.
|This was awful, coming from myself that's quite a statement. Twenty minutes into the flick I was trying to come up with a way to get revenge against the director of this one.
In New Guinea (you heard me, funny little island in the Pacific) some sort of chemical/nuclear research project, based in a refinery, goes terribly wrong. Half a world away the special Interpol team led by Lieutenant London is dispatched to find out what. The International Criminal Police Organization is called out to investigate the disaster at a nuclear facility?
They don't take a boat to the offshore facility though. They get airdropped miles inland! Plus, they're all dubbed over; it sounds like a bunch of guys from the Bronx, NYC. Anyway, they run into some news reporters who are having zombie problems, like the seven year old kid munching through dad's neck.
After some suitable idiocy they learn to shoot the brain. They never put this to use though. The morons just keep pumping bullets into every other body part except the head. The surviving reporters accompany the policemen through several boring encounters with undead. The survivors from those finally arrive at the research center. This is good, it signals the movie's end is near, and so are the actors - everybody dies! End of story.
At one point the travelers hear drums, so Lea says that she has to make friends with the natives! The young lady then proceeds to whip her shirt off, slap some face paint on, and go jogging into the village. The sight of a woman jogging topless lifted my spirits for a few moments, before the assneck director again threw stock footage at me. Prepare to see numerous segments lifted from "Animal Kingdom" or "National Geographic" specials. One moment you're watching a zombie shamble along, the next it's a horde of fruit bats roosting. If you think that's bad wait until you see people constantly "paralyzed with fear" as the zombies approach. Complete idiocy, unless you are a serious bad movie enthusiast (or want to torture your friends) avoid this one.
|Things I Learned From This Movie:|| |
- One zombie rat can kill a full grown man.
- People will stare in paralyzed horror at a zombie eating someone.
- Eco terrorists talk too much.
- Zombies are usually mistaken for lepers.
- Modern battle tanks are no match for spear chucking natives.
- Bras are good. (Leaf through a National Geographic, you'll understand.)
- The natives of New Guinea use synthesizers.
- Zombies are not very good at tag.
- The undead love to wear polyester.
- Zombies cannot swim.
- 2 mins - Is this a movie about disco or zombies?
- 9 mins - Why did that guy pull his own gas mask off when the zombie attacked?
- 23 mins - These guys could sure use a group hug.
- 31 mins - You need a bigger gun.
- 34 mins - Hey morons, didn't he tell you to shoot them in the head?
- 37 mins - Stock "National Geographic" footage.
- 38 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
- 42 mins - Stock footage.
- 55 mins - How did he get behind her?
- 64 mins - Stock footage of birds catching fish?
- 79 mins - Stock footage of fruit bats? Couldn't you guys afford film?
| ||Audio clips in wav format||SOUNDS||Starving actors speak out|| |
||Scientist: "It's no use, sir. The circuits have gone wild. Nobody answers." |
Other Scientist: "We had better stop that leak, or we'll all be dead."
||London: "Eagle calling base. It's hot as a horse's ass and fly time here, and I don't like the heat."
||Vincent: "Patience is the chief virtue of those who have faith, Mahtama Gandhi, New Dehli, 1946. London: "Up your ass, Lieutenant Mike London, Shit Creek, the year is now."
||Official: "We have to organize the police forces, local and national, into well armed teams equipped with flamethrowers and ready to take the corpses from relatives who try to hide them."
|Theme Song|| Listen to a clip from the soundtrack. |
| ||Click for a larger image||IMAGES||Scenes from the movie|| |
| ||Watch a scene||VIDEO||MPEG video files|| |
| ||Leave a comment||EXTRAS||Buy the movie|| |