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PUPPET MASTER II - 3 Slimes
Rated R
Copyright 1990 Full Moon Productions
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • Andre Toulon - Creator of the animated puppets, raised from the dead then destroyed by them.
  • Carolyn - Redheaded vixen who is Toulon's wife reincarnated.
  • Camille - Old psychic, she really does have guy hands. The puppets do her in.
  • Michael - Camille's son, he enters the plot looking for her and instead porks Carolyn.
  • Patrick - Carolyn's brother, he is killed by Tunneler early on.
  • Lance and Wanda - Our two little sex fiends. Both are killed by Blade. Wanda has some really nice, ahm, hooters.
  • The Puppets - Blade, Jester, Leech Woman, Pin Head, Torch, and Tunneler. Leech woman is burned to ashes and Tunneler dissected.

Buy It!

The Plot: 

Excellent sequel to the original Puppet Master and a all around bad movie! More stop motion, more people getting iced, and a naked brunette. Toulon is raised from the dead by his puppets after years of burial, through most of the movie he dresses like the invisible man. Around the same time paranormal investigators arrive, they hope to discover what drove Alex Whittaker mad while staying in the hotel. Toulon falls in love with Carolyn, believing her to be the reincarnated form of his wife. She wants nothing to do with the ace bandage spokesperson and instead latches on to Michael (latches is pretty accurate) for some gratuitous hot lovin. Meanwhile, the puppets are gathering sections of human brain to revitalize the alchemy that keeps them and their master alive. So people must die! They must die with their brains hacked out! A very fun movie with plenty of stop motion and cool shots of the puppets.

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Wear gloves when working with barbed wire.
  • When attacked by demonic puppets scream BEFORE they gag you.
  • Never put the horny people in charge of security.
  • Pen knives hack through a skull with no problem.
  • Puppet shows were boring long before TV came along.
  • Bratty kids should be charbroiled.
  • Nothing ruins a romantic mood like leper-man.
  • "I feel so alone." means "Do me now." in Redhead-speak.
  • People set on fire always fall out windows.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 6 mins - Charles Band: music composer, storywriter, producer...
  • 28 mins - No blood on the drill after opening Patrick's head up huh?
  • 29 mins - Tunneler lost his hand but now it's back on.
  • 53 mins - Undressing then whipping an action figure? This kid has a few issues.
  • 62 mins - Toulon can barely walk but dancing is no problem huh?
  • 67 mins - Wanda, turn over so we can see your...
  • 67 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
  • 70 mins - Yep, it's midnight, look how bright it is.
  • 73 mins - Please make that man put some pants on.
  • Ending Credits - Special thanks to Kado the Cat?

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note pupmasterii1.wav Wanda: "Don't forget: Whittaker did see something, something that drove him out of his mind."
Lance: "Alex Whittaker was nuts, man; period!"
Green Music Note pupmasterii2.wav Redneck Woman: "Some critters been getting in here chawing up the hogs. Killed one of the mules too, tore her head all up."
Redneck Guy: "Et her brain."
Green Music Note pupmasterii3.wav Camille: "I'm afraid we're all in danger as long as we remain in this house, I'm leaving tonight."
Green Music Note pupmasterii4.wav Wanda: "The only time I want to feel somebody tossing and turning in bed is when I'm helping them."

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

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 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Clippupmasterii1.mpg - 2.6m
Torch is cooking up some redneck woman, Cajun style. This is Darwin at work; she already has the shotgun trained on him, but watches as he slowly brings the flamethrower to bear.

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FROM THE BADMOVIES.ORG ARCHIVES
ImageThe Giant Claw - Slime drop

Earth is visited by a GIANT ANTIMATTER SPACE BUZZARD! Gawk at the amazingly bad bird puppet, or chuckle over the silly dialog. This is one of the greatest b-movies ever made.

Lesson Learned:
  • Osmosis: os·mo·sis (oz-mo'sis, os-) n., 1. When a bird eats something.

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