DEMONIC TOYS
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| Rated R
| | 1991 Full Moon Pictures
| | Reviewed by Mark H.
on 5 August 2002
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- Judith - A pregnant cop who mostly screams, "Oh God, no!" throughout the movie.
- Matt - Judith's boyfriend and the father of her child. Shot by Lincoln early in the film.
- Lincoln - Weapons dealer and damn right annoying. I probably would have shot him earlier if I was Judith.
- Hesse - Weapons dealer who gets gnawed on by the toys.
- Mark - A chicken delivery guy with a bad attitude.
- Anne - A weird chick who finds refuge from her abusive father in an air conditioning vent. Gets a knife in her eye.
- Charnetski - The average overweight security guard in a b-movie. Virtually mutilated by the toys.
- Dr. and Mrs. Michaels - A sweet old couple who try to unleash an evil baby on the world.
- The Demon - The shape shifting master of the Demonic Toys. Rather polite for a demon.
- The Demonic Toys - One bad group of butt kicking toys!
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The term "redundancy" does not seem to phase anyone involved in producing b-flicks. If a movie about the undead has been made, what the hell, make another and another and another. The same goes for the folks of Full Moon Pictures, who put out this flick. If you can make a movie involving little toys that kill people like "Puppet Master" or "Blood Dolls," why not make another and so on.
The movie starts off with two undercover police officers, Judith and Matt, sitting in a car. Through the miracle of back story, we find out that the two are romantically involved and Judith is pregnant. (Can you smell something awful about to happen? I knew you could.) Cue the arms dealers Lincoln and Hesse. Add them to a botched police bust. You come out with the equation of Matt shot dead and both criminals bolting from the scene. After checking on her boyfriend/partner, Judith chases the two into a surplus toy warehouse. Hesse is wounded from the altercation and cannot run fast, so Lincoln goes his separate way.
Hesse sees a light that somehow beckons him to come lay down in it. The blood from his wound drips into a mysterious hole in the floor. Cue the rebirth of an evil demon who can bring toys to life as his henchmen! Actually, there are only four toys that play a part in the killing.
1.) An evil clown/jack-in-the-box with a rattle who bites people.
2.) A baby doll named Oopsy Daisy who sports a knife and a potty mouth.
3.) A teddy bear with fangs that growls and bites people.
4.) A toy robot who fires laser projectiles at his victims.
We learn that the demon was born sixty-six years before present day. He didn't survive the birth, but his spirit waited for an opportunity to find a body to jump into. I am sure you have forgotten by now, but Judith is pregnant. So viola, there is the cell he's been looking for.
Mark, a chicken delivery guy, comes into the movie when he delivers dinner to the toy warehouse's night watchman, Charnetski. (Might I add that Mark drives a chickenmobile, which has a huge chicken on the top with light up eyes.) Lincoln is captured by Judith, but the two are trapped in a room. Add a wayward teen and there is your cast. The toys chomp and stab away at them until Mark and Judith are the only ones left standing. Oddly enough, Judith's unborn child takes the form of a toy soldier and helps save the day.
Does all this make sense? No? Good. At least I'm not the only one. For what it's worth, the film is a lot of laughs. Imagine the puppet cat of "Uninvited" in the form of these toys and there are your special effects! Also, Baby Oopsy Daisy saves the day with tons of hilarious quotes. I wonder if they will ever mass market a doll that calls fat people "Moby f**king Dick" and draws pentagrams with crayons. If a movie like this can be made, why not?
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| Things I Learned From This Movie: | |
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- It is almost impossible to get fired from a fast food restaurant.
- Surplus toy warehouses have overnight security.
- Toys are carnivorous.
- Runaway teens hang out in air conditioning shafts.
- Evil spirits can use toy blocks to communicate.
- Demons prefer to take the form of ten year-olds.
- Police handcuffs can be easily unlocked with a pocket knife.
- Dollhouses are part of the astral plane.
- Giving birth to a demon has to suck.
- Demon's babies are sometimes given out as a substitute for Halloween candy.
- The balance of good and evil all depends on a children's card game.
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- 13 mins - Hey, he is watching "Puppet Master 2." Talk about shameless self promotion.
- 16 mins - Chickenmobile!
- 23 mins - The toys "playing" with their first victim.
- 35 mins - That baby doll has a vocabulary of a drunken sailor.
- 38 mins - Ouch! A knife to the family jewels.
- 50 mins - Little girls on tricycles with gas masks?
- 68 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
- 70 mins - He knocked his head off with a shotgun stock?
- 75 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST THE SURPLUS TOYS!
- 85 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST THE CHICKENMOBILE!
- 87 mins - Kid Fight!
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- Mr. Peterson: "Mr. Wayne, is that a cigarette in your mouth?"
Mark: "No, it's your d**k!"
- Demon: "And when I'm done with them, then I'll come for you. Then we can do the nasty."
- Mark: "We gotta get out of here, it's that simple. I can't handle this ghost s**t"
- Demon: "How do you want your death served up to you? You want that chunky style or extra crispy?"
- Charnetski: "The world is a toilet and the only people in it are a**holes."
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| | Audio clips in wav format | SOUNDS | Starving actors speak out | |
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| File | Dialog |  | demonictoys1.wav
| Manager: "Now, I want you to make sure you come right on back here mister!"
Mark: "Well maybe I won't come back. Maybe I'll just plow your f**king chickenmobile into the river. How'd you like that?"
| | demonictoys2.wav
| Oopsy Daisy: "I'm Baby Oopsy Daisy. You lard ass. Will you be my special friend?"
Charnetski: "What the hell?"
Oopsy Daisy: "I can walk, I can talk, I can even s**t my pants.
Charnetski: "Huh?"
Oopsy Daisy: "Can you s**t your pants?"
| | demonictoys3.wav
| Judith: "The toys have not come to life!"
Mark: "The f**king teddy bear looks pretty alive to me. You saw it!"
Anne: "They're all over the warehouse. They're locking us in."
| | demonictoys4.wav
| Demon: "I'm going to eat the soul of your baby and take his shell for my own. Then, I'll induce labor. Before the night is through I'll be born in a human body, flesh and blood."
Judith: "Nooooooo!"
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| | Click for a larger image | IMAGES | Scenes from the movie | |
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| | Watch a scene | VIDEO | MPEG video files | |
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 | demonictoys1.mpg
- 2.6m
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| Mark does a good job of killing the jack-in-the-box, but Anne falls prey to Baby Oopsy Daisy. The doll is melted because Mark used a can of bug spray as a flamethrower.
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| | Leave a comment | EXTRAS | Buy the movie | |
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