INVASION OF THE SPACE PREACHERS
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| Unrated
| | Copyright 1990 Troma Entertainment
| | Reviewed by Glennman
on 19 February 2008
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- Walter Bennett - A dopey dentist; he's a fairly likable character, once you get past his middle class white-guyness.
- Rick Lowery - An even dopier and somewhat sleazy accountant who wears a hideous blue jump suit, and Walter's best friend. Also very white. Not pale, white. Ends up falling for the cruise control on Nova's ship (don't ask).
- Rednecks - Everywhere. In the bar, in the town, even in pickup trucks asking for Grey Poupon.
- Truman Gator - A shady nerdy redneck businessman who fleeces Walt and Rick into staying at his "rustic mountain chalet."
- Nova - Alien that Walt and Rick rescue, ends up being a hot blonde chick inside, who comes to Earth to arrest Kritak for killing her brother. Falls for Walt.
- Johnny Angel - Weird rocker guy who worships Elvis and sunbathes nude with two groupies, Drema and Rhonda.
- Vic 20 - Shell-shocked militant hippie guy who runs about with a lot of ammo and grenades. Fun-loving psycho.
- Midget & Old Folks - Two old people who have a midget who thinks he's a child. Or they think the midget's a child. Whatever. Just an unnecessary scene.
- Reverend Lash - Freaky looking minister who's dynamite with a whip. Actually the alien refugee Kritak, who fled his home planet after murdering someone. Like all preachers and aliens, he seeks to rule the world.
- Lash's Cronies - Rejects from a Flock of Seagulls. One uses his tongue way too much. Standard sidekicks who can't hit crap with a laser rifle and hiss when about to attack.
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Meet Walt and Rick, two white-collar losers who decide to go on vacation to prove that they're real men. The audience already knows they're not. They rent out Truman Gator's pit of a mountain chalet, but not before encountering the House of Dung (yes, you heard me), rednecks seeking Grey Poupon (and listening to classical music), and an angry bar crowd.
They also encounter the enigmatic Reverend Lash, a peace-loving minister whose radio broadcasts run twenty-four hours a day. Walt soon discovers that the Reverend's broadcasts are hypnotic. Something smells funny in this place, and it's not just the House of Dung.
Along their LOOOONG drive up the mountain, they also encounter an alien spaceship that has crash landed. The alien is lying beside it, injured, and asks them to carry it to the barn to rest. They do, and then continue on to the chalet, which is, of course, a total dump. Back to the alien, whose shell has cracked revealing a naked woman. Of course.
After a restful night's sleep, Walt heads out to paint the landscape, and Rick pees outside, only to meet Johnny Angel and his girls. He tells them about the alien, but when he shows them the crash site, the ship is gone (the huge scrape mark on the ground from the crash is still there, but no one mentions it). He then takes them to the barn, and finds no one there either.
Meanwhile, Walt was painting until shots ring out over his head, and he dives face first onto his palette. He meets Vic, who insists that Walt is a narc, and locks him in the chicken coop at the hippie colony. Rick joins him in the chicken coop after being captured by Vic. They are later released after Vic says their friend told him his mistake. The friend is the alien girl, now clothed.
She is invited to stay with them, as Reverend Lash continues recruiting for his congregation. The midget guy reports to Lash about Nova's arrival, only to have his head blown up as payment. Whatever. Rick and Walt go on survival training with Vic, encountering Johnny Angel and company sunbathing, an anthropological dig site, and the POND!
Meanwhile, Nova is doing background work on Lash and barely escapes. The three of them reunite, only to have Lash pants Rick and Walt (metaphorically, thankfully), and kidnap Nova. Lash has also made plans to broadcast worldwide. He has the entire town under his control by now, except for Rick and Walt. They decide to stop his reign of holy terror.
Walt sneaks into the church and manages to free Nova and save the town from severe head lossage. The Reverend escapes with his flunkies, only to return moments later in alien form, using Rick as a hostage. The ENTIRE town shows up armed, and a standoff ensues. Originally, no one will shoot with Rick as a hostage. That is, until the aliens flip the bird in the general direction of the armed townspeople. The townspeople blast away, obliterating the aliens. Rick is unharmed.
Everyone is friends, and Johnny Angel shows up, and dancing ensues! The end!
I obviously purchased this one on title alone, and it lived up to my expectations. It earned the four slime rating by being so damned entertaining and so odd at the same time. I mean, the House of Dung? A pond full of naked people? The random midget with the old people? The banjo guy? All the redneck jokes? Space preachers? Troma does it like no one else. Thank you, Lloyd Kaufman.
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| Things I Learned From This Movie: | |
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- Fat women need a LOT of nitrous oxide.
- "Rustic" means UGLY.
- Free isn't always a good deal.
- Rednecks take dreams seriously. Very seriously.
- Cover your crotch when approaching a preacher.
- Aliens learn English from television, and hide hot women inside their shells.
- Small arms fire can take down a spacecraft.
- Aliens can also win any drinking contest, and kick redneck ass.
- Don't leave live bait in your car.
- America is the land of the free and the home of Donald Trump.
- Nude sunbathers don't scare easy.
- Boy scouts = human shields.
- Don't mess with the rednecks, 'cause they've all got guns.
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- Film quality just degraded. Look! It's SPACE!
- A few MORE road shots, please.
- That was the worst John Wayne impression ever.
- You gave him your credit card?!
- Ick. Didn't need a slow pan up Rick's body.
- RANDOM GRATUITOUS ALIEN BLONDE BREAST SHOT!
- Horror harmonicas?
- That's a LOT of weed, and a bad Jamaican accent.
- White...trash...everywhere...
- Fuzzy wuzzy soap? Ewwww.
- Sex with the alien. Nice.
- I HATE RICK! (ugh, pod sex)
- RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST AN ARCHAEOLOGICAL SITE!
- Ah, the pond. That's called well-rounded survival training.
- "Army of Darkness" or "The Day the Earth Stood Still" moment.
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- Carol Ann: "You were never in a war!"
Kid: "You mean you're not a war hero?"
Carol Ann: "Don't warp their realities. We need to be honest with our young. They need to know us for what we really are."
- Rick: "If this thing doesn't kill us, it might have space herpes or something."
- Rick: "Speaking of blow dryers, how's your mom?"
- Walt: "To boldly go where no dentist or accountant has gone before."
- Walt: "We now return control of your brains."
- Johnny Angel: "No sh*t, man. An alien? I think I'm gonna like this cat."
- Nova: "You saved my butts last night."
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| | Audio clips in wav format | SOUNDS | Starving actors speak out | |
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| File | Dialog |  | invasionpreach1.wav
| Rick: "I wonder if it's really."
Eric: "Why, you bet it is - 14 varieties of genuine barnyard animal feces."
Eric's Brother: "Just making a few repairs now. Rain plays hell on the place."
| | invasionpreach2.wav
| Lash: "And remember: Lash loves you. He really does."
| | invasionpreach3.wav
| Rick: "Accosted by rejects from the 'Dukes of Hazzard,' shortchanged by a hillbilly huckster, and now we get to play host to Astro-boy."
Walter: "Not your typical day."
| | invasionpreach4.wav
| Rick: "Now, then. Who are you, and what are you doing wearing my clothes?"
Walter: "Be nice, Rick. She saved our butts."
Nova: "It is all right, Walter. I will explain. Call me Nova."
Rick: "Your folks named you after a Chevrolet?"
Nova: "I borrowed your clothes because I grew out of my own."
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| | Click for a larger image | IMAGES | Scenes from the movie | |
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| | Watch a scene | VIDEO | MPEG video files | |
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 | invasionpreach1.mpg
- 3.4m
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| Walter and Nova confront Reverend Lash, but the interstellar criminal has a dirty trick up his sleeve. I think that the heroes should shoot the hostages.
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| | Leave a comment | EXTRAS | Buy the movie | |
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