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I actually kinda like how they play it serious and not like a "scary movie"-sequel would play it.

CHILDREN SHOULDN'T PLAY WITH DEAD THINGS

The title was the best thing about that movie.  i used to keep a copy of it to torment my friends with. 

That one and Bloodsucking Freaks were the two movies they had to specify I wasn't allowed to choose when it was my turn to choose movies. 

[Storks]

Storks (2016)

Ok, truly weird one.

The Justice League had their headquarters inside a gigantic version of the Statue of Liberty.  In fact, I think there was an entire city inside the thing.  Anyway, internet meme Jeff the Killer was killing each of the members so that he could get to a baby (or miniature person, I dunno) they were protecting.  The Flash, once he was the only one left alive, had the great idea to hide in the basement, where there was a disused library full of huntsman spiders.  He had to use a ladder that ran down the elevator shaft (?) to get there.  Jeff tried to kill Flash by getting in the elevator and squishing him, but Flash vibrated his molecules real fast and phased through it.  Once he got to the basement/library, he had burnt out his powers so he had to make do with hiding under a couch.  He watched from his hiding place as Jeff came into the basement and killed all of the huntsman spiders (that were the size of beagles).  Jeff eventually found the Flash and killed him.

Then I turned off the TV (I had apparently been watching the dream on TV) and went to do something else because the "movie" was over.  The miniature person from the dream was following me around the house, just out of my field of vision.  When I finally managed to turn around fast enough to see him -- it was Jason Voorhees!

I woke up.

DEAD BANG sounds like something a five year old came up with...
I've never seen it, but I recall the critics saying the movie was just as bad as the title...

The Phynx (1970) - This was kind of like the Monkees if instead of trying to be taken seriously and having ego problems they decided to make a movie that was wacky and fun like their show. It's edgy and audacious in places, but still pretty PG. There are some pretty girls and some (decent) political commentary type jokes but ultimately it's a light comedy.

A bunch of guys are kidnapped and forced to be in a band. They are doing this so they can play a show in Albania. Why would they want to do that? Well, Albania has been kidnapping various American film legends and icons such as johnny Weismmuller, Joe louis, and Colonel Sanders who all have cameos. The band is the only way America can get into fortified Albania. This is the movie I'm not kidding.


I can see why TCM showed this on their late night weirdo series. It's obscure but it's also colorful and watcheable and even includes nostalgic tributes to old stars. It was tailor made for it. they kind of over do the old star stuff in the end I mean did they all have to have their own corny line? The band don't over flow with personality and the wild edge that starts off the movie kind of disappears by the end but definitely worth checking out

4/5

Reportedly, the studio execs did not like "John Carter of Mars", because no one in the modern world would accept "Mars" as a plausible location for the story.

CHILDREN SHOULDN'T PLAY WITH DEAD THINGS

Who the heck am I supposed to vote for when there is no lesser evil this election?

CTHULHU 2016!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sorry too ulthar and skull. it's just gentle ribbing