Bad Movie Logo
"A website to the detriment of good film"
Custom Search
HOMEB-MOVIE REVIEWSREADER REVIEWSFORUMINTERVIEWSUPDATESABOUT
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?
September 21, 2014, 09:30:57 PM
533968 Posts in 40399 Topics by 5067 Members
Latest Member: E1673
Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Entertainment  |  How to Survive a Zombie Attack « previous next »
Pages: 1 [2] 3 4 ... 6
Author Topic: How to Survive a Zombie Attack  (Read 29442 times)
DarkAdmiral
Dedicated Viewer
**

Karma: 2
Posts: 15



« Reply #15 on: February 26, 2007, 05:45:29 PM »

Well despite the fact that I have gotten almost no feedback here is the last part of the guide. Thanks alot.

People: (humans.... for the most part)
          Considering that there are over Six Billion humans on earth, odds are there will be other survivors than yourself. Humans are social creatures, so before long there will be many groups of people in various locations. You will have to decide if you want to go solo, form or hook up with a small group, or find/create a large community. There are various advantages and disadvantages to each, and each one functions differently.

               Solo- If you go solo you are very mobile and don't have to worry about other people, but you also don't have anyone there to bail you out if you get in trouble. On the plus side going solo is very quiet, so you wont attract Zombies as much as many people would, you also dont have any squabbling over supplies. The main disadvantage to going solo is that it would both physically and mentally lonely at times. You can go solo in both rural and urban areas If you know the location of a community or an immobile group you could base yourself near them, that way you could have trade, contact with others, and Zombies would be attracted more to them than to you.
               Group (3-15 people)- When you go the group route you do get more people, so you wont be lonely, but it will be quite a bit louder. A group can defend itself better against Zombie attacks, but will have problems like lack of supplies, and power struggles within the group. You also run the risk of little cliques forming and creating outcasts. Groups can function well in both urban and rural areas.
               Community (50+ people)- A community is very loud and immobile, you have a lot of people and there will either be plenty of supplies or no supplies. Communities will eventually lead to the rise of politicians, who might choose to impose martial law, corruption will be very possible. On the upside there are going to be plenty of people and it will be very well protected. A community will almost certainly have to be located in the remains of a town or city.

Zombies: (brrrrraaaaaaaaaaiiinnsss)
          Ah yes the Zombies, the whole reason for this guide. Like any war you should learn everything you possibly can about your enemy. Can they communicate? How do they hunt? Are they fast or slow moving? The more you know about them the better you chances of surviving are.

          Things to learn about:
               Behavior- You should learn how the act, what they do naturally. Do they relive the old lives or do they just wander aimlessly. What senses do they use to hunt? Are they fast moving or slow and shambling? Are they nocturnal, do they avoid water?
               Infection- How is the Zombie producing disease spread? Will you get it if they bite you, or if you ingest any of their fluids? Does magic or man create them? Are they demonic in nature? Are they actually dead bodies or are they just possessed/infected people? Another thing to learn about is if they carry any normal infections and diseases.
               Intelligence- Just how smart are the Zombies? Do they know how to call for more paramedics or use weapons, or are they just mindless wandering chunks of meat? Are they capable of working together or communicating?
               Durability- Just how much punishment can their bodies take? How strong are they? Are the capable of healing wounds or are they rotting where they stand? If they do rot, how fast are they rotting and will they "die" when they're done rotting?
               Weaknesses- How do you stop them, does dismembering or eviscerating them work? What about fire? Are they vulnerable to holy artifacts and holy water? What about silver and sunlight? Will they stop if they are shot in the head?
               Variations- Are they all the same or are there many types? Are there sentient Zombies? What about plants and animals, are there any Zombies of them?
               Amount- Just how many Zombies are there? Do they “run” in packs, or go solo?
               Powers- Do the Zombies have any special powers? Can their severed limbs act on their own? Can the bodies fuse together into a giant Super-Zombie?

          The most important and basic thing for you to learn is, how to stop them. That is the one thing you must absolutely learn A.S.A.P. Generally you should attack the head until there is no longer a head to attack. That destroys their senses that they use to hunt and possible destroys the brain as well. Zombies typically have very bad motor functions so inside your base you should use simple tripwires to slow them down, and you should also destroy the stairs and use retractable ladders when going up to the second level, preferably you should destroy all the stairs below the third story but that may not be feasible. Any elevators and escalators should be destroyed or blocked as well.
          If it’s possible you may want to conduct tests with any captured or lone Zombies. I suggest that you use volunteers like the Tobacco Institute scientists and members of Congress, I would suggest lawyers too, but they aren‘t really human and would probably end up defending the Zombies in a discrimination and abuse case. These tests could provide valuable information and create a pathetic sub-breed of Zombies while ridding humanity of these loathsome parasites.

END
          Well there you have folks, after reading all this you should be able to survive at least a year when the Zombies come. But lets face it if you had to read this guide to survive you be Zombie chow long before I am. Maybe I’ll see your rotting corpses as I snipe down Zombies while gathering supplies, or maybe not, but whatever the case if you come across me after the Zombie invasion feel free to spend a night or two and rest up before you head on your way again, I may even give you some supplies if your nice.
Logged

Thank Puppet Master for bringing me here since May 27, 2002.
The greatest power of all is knowledge. And laser eye-beams.
Quote
Fairness Eagles may soar but weasels don't get sucked in jet engines.
IdiocyNever underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
Doc Daneeka
Tako Luka tuna fever!
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 160
Posts: 1814


I want to eat a tuna!


WWW
« Reply #16 on: February 26, 2007, 07:06:46 PM »

Quote
Maybe I’ll see your rotting corpses as I snipe down Zombies while gathering supplies
Aww, that's beautiful... Smile
Logged

Get out da' waaaaaaaayyy, octopus comin' through!
BoyScoutKevin
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 148
Posts: 2942


« Reply #17 on: March 01, 2007, 03:00:08 PM »

DarkAdmiral, I like what you are doing, but please let me correct some of the things you said.

Dogsleds can be equipped with wheels, so they can be used all year round, not only when there is snow on the ground. How do you think dogsled racers train their dogs in the summer?

Sailboats. Most sailboats, of any size, come equipped with auxiliary motors. That way they can be used when there is no wind, or you are out in one, and the wind dies down, you can get back to shore.

Canoes. Of course, it depends upon the size of the canoe, but they can carry alot. I don't have the exact figures, but they can probably carry more than most boats their size.

Looking for your next post on "People and Zombies."


Logged
JPickettIII
A BAD MOVIE IS A TERRIBLE THING TO WASTE!
Bad Movie Lover
***

Karma: 45
Posts: 977


HELP! WE ARE STUCK IN A GOOD MOVIE!!!


« Reply #18 on: March 02, 2007, 12:26:27 AM »

I have seen a lot of Zombie movies, and there would be a lot that I would change.  The people in the movies last for so long, the they f-up.

The first thing I would do is stay in groups.  It seems like when people get separated they get killed.  A group of 5 minimum would be good.

Weaponry:

I would have to have a gatlen gun, a shot gun, a .45 caliber and a flame thrower.
The gatlen gun would be good for mowing down a huge group of zombies.
The shot gun would be good for taking on 10 or less.
The .45 caliber would be good for tight places.
The flame thrower would be good for anywhere.

Armor

I would have a motorcycle jacket, pants, boots, gloves and helmet.
This is light enough to move around in, yet thick enough to stop bite attacks.

Mobility

I would like to have a tank, but just in case they are all taken, I would settle for an Excursion with a diesel.
The Excursion would have a huge solid steel bumper on the front as well on the back.  There would be bars welded over the windows and an extra 100 gallon tank.

Housing

I would probally do the mall, just like "Dawn of the Dead".  There would be lots of room to move around in.  If the Zombies broke in, you would have a lot of room to hide or run to get out of the place.

Food

Everything that is bottled and canned.  No exceptions.

Not sure what else to put now, I am getting hungry for Brains!

Logged

\\\\\\\"Freedom is not free\"\\\\\\ or ///\"Where ever you go, there you are!\"///
DarkAdmiral
Dedicated Viewer
**

Karma: 2
Posts: 15



« Reply #19 on: March 02, 2007, 12:06:09 PM »

Finally some feedback.

JPickettIII:
I wouldnt go for a flame thrower, it takes some serious heat to destroy a body and until its destroyed you have aflaming corpse bumping into everything setting stuff on fire. I like the armor choice very good. No problem with the mobilty. Housing could be a problem read the comments on this guide people go into quite a bit of detail.

BoyScoutKevin:
No ididnt know that dogseld could have wheels, but it seems like it would be fun. Though your mobily would be severly limited using wheels if you go cross country or through forests. I forgot that most sailboats today have motors, oops. And with the canoe I was going with overall carry abilty, but I know what you mean, for normal camping they can carry quite a bit. And the People and Zombies should be at the top of the second page.
Logged

Thank Puppet Master for bringing me here since May 27, 2002.
The greatest power of all is knowledge. And laser eye-beams.
Quote
Fairness Eagles may soar but weasels don't get sucked in jet engines.
IdiocyNever underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
JPickettIII
A BAD MOVIE IS A TERRIBLE THING TO WASTE!
Bad Movie Lover
***

Karma: 45
Posts: 977


HELP! WE ARE STUCK IN A GOOD MOVIE!!!


« Reply #20 on: March 09, 2007, 12:13:20 PM »

What about white phosphiurs?  Or perhaps a sulfiric acid sprayer?

I will have to think some more.

John
« Last Edit: March 10, 2007, 12:31:12 AM by JPickettIII » Logged

\\\\\\\"Freedom is not free\"\\\\\\ or ///\"Where ever you go, there you are!\"///
Brain
Guest
« Reply #21 on: March 15, 2007, 08:13:15 AM »

Youd have to be able to create and handle a large amount properly but Sulfiric acid would work, it might take time though. White phospurus would be like fire but faster I bet.

Personally I like the Baseball bat idea, but after time a wooden bat would break and splinter, do you think duct tape would prevent that?
Logged
Doc Daneeka
Tako Luka tuna fever!
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 160
Posts: 1814


I want to eat a tuna!


WWW
« Reply #22 on: March 15, 2007, 03:43:11 PM »

A big, sturdy, golf club is better
Logged

Get out da' waaaaaaaayyy, octopus comin' through!
Andrew
Administrator
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 0
Posts: 8429


I know where my towel is.


WWW
« Reply #23 on: March 15, 2007, 06:08:36 PM »

For armor, you could probably get by with heavy leather.  However, also consider that people who do SCA and actually beat on each other with wooden poles (as swords) often have armor.  The most common type is steel sheet, but I have seen very lightwood kydex armor.  That would be exceptional at protecting you from bites.

I wonder if a steel claw hammer (solid all steel type) would be a decent weapon.  I suppose it depends on how fast the creatures are.  As it stands, the best melee weapon I would have is a double-edged axe that is all steel.  My choice for a firearm would definitely be a shotgun, with a .45 pistol for backup.

Here's a picture of that axe:

http://www.starfireswords.com/web-pages/products/steel/l-dax.php
Logged

Andrew Borntreger
Badmovies.org
Brain
Guest
« Reply #24 on: March 16, 2007, 04:11:05 PM »

A hammer would work but it has little reach so probably best as a last resort weapon. The ax looks like it would work well in open spaces, but if you miss the zombies head you could be thrown off balance, all assuming that it is a real battle ready ax and not a display or prop one.
Logged
Andrew
Administrator
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 0
Posts: 8429


I know where my towel is.


WWW
« Reply #25 on: March 16, 2007, 04:21:32 PM »

A hammer would work but it has little reach so probably best as a last resort weapon. The ax looks like it would work well in open spaces, but if you miss the zombies head you could be thrown off balance, all assuming that it is a real battle ready ax and not a display or prop one.

It is definitely a real axe.  Were you to sharpen it (it does not come with a sharp edge) it would be a very dangerous weapon.  I'd guess it was made from 5160 steel or one of the other spring steels you often see used for real swords.
Logged

Andrew Borntreger
Badmovies.org
Brain
Guest
« Reply #26 on: March 16, 2007, 04:38:36 PM »

Quote
It is definitely a real axe.  Were you to sharpen it (it does not come with a sharp edge) it would be a very dangerous weapon.  I'd guess it was made from 5160 steel or one of the other spring steels you often see used for real swords.
Bit is it "real" or real for re-enactments, there is a difference and a good freind of mine has been suckered into getting what he thought were "real" combat ready swords, but were actually real replicas for medieval festival re-enactments.
Logged
Andrew
Administrator
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 0
Posts: 8429


I know where my towel is.


WWW
« Reply #27 on: March 16, 2007, 06:15:11 PM »

Quote
It is definitely a real axe.  Were you to sharpen it (it does not come with a sharp edge) it would be a very dangerous weapon.  I'd guess it was made from 5160 steel or one of the other spring steels you often see used for real swords.
Bit is it "real" or real for re-enactments, there is a difference and a good freind of mine has been suckered into getting what he thought were "real" combat ready swords, but were actually real replicas for medieval festival re-enactments.

Good point and the Starfires are intended for re-enactments.  However, years ago I did know somebody who took a sword by them, sharpened it, and proceeded to do stuff like chop down trees.  He would often hit things wrong, but never managed to break it - so I assume that they are pretty tough.  The axe is certainly stout in all the right places.  If they used a spring steel and did not over-harden it, then it will be pretty hard to break.

Certainly not so tough as something like a Busse American Kensai though, but in a pinch I would have to use it against a big mob of zombies.
Logged

Andrew Borntreger
Badmovies.org
Brain
Guest
« Reply #28 on: March 17, 2007, 11:03:36 AM »

Quote
It is definitely a real axe.  Were you to sharpen it (it does not come with a sharp edge) it would be a very dangerous weapon.  I'd guess it was made from 5160 steel or one of the other spring steels you often see used for real swords.
Bit is it "real" or real for re-enactments, there is a difference and a good freind of mine has been suckered into getting what he thought were "real" combat ready swords, but were actually real replicas for medieval festival re-enactments.

Good point and the Starfires are intended for re-enactments.  However, years ago I did know somebody who took a sword by them, sharpened it, and proceeded to do stuff like chop down trees.  He would often hit things wrong, but never managed to break it - so I assume that they are pretty tough.  The axe is certainly stout in all the right places.  If they used a spring steel and did not over-harden it, then it will be pretty hard to break.

Certainly not so tough as something like a Busse American Kensai though, but in a pinch I would have to use it against a big mob of zombies.

Ok then it would probably work, but Id keep a back up weapon like a shovel or baseball bat handy.

Out of curiosity what would ya do if you were bit? I've considered trapping myself in a meat locker, or armoring myself up and becoming a Zombie hunter's worst nightmare.
Logged
Zapranoth
Eye of Sauron and
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 138
Posts: 1164



« Reply #29 on: March 17, 2007, 01:04:37 PM »

Are we limited in the discussion at hand to weapons that exist today?

If not, I would submit that a monomolecular line would be an ideal anti-zombie weapon.   (ie, Heinlein's Sinclair molecular chain --  You know, one of those scifi invisible molecular chains that you swing from some sort of grip, that will cut anything it hits without slowing down.)  You would then have a weapon that never runs out of ammo, can't get stuck in a zombie (thereby allowing you to be overrun), and can be swung continuously in a wide arc.     If you're all alone, you could probably defend yourself successfully for hours, on strength of desperation and switching hands very carefully between waves of attack.

True, you'd have lots of chunks and partials (ie, hands, biting heads) trying to get your ankles.  You'd have to stomp through that sh*t, or steadily retreat.  In enclosed spaces you'd have a hard time.  But with a little room to maneuver, you could probably manage to make them even slower to try to catch up to you... you could even swing it in a tilted arc, if you were really careful, and manage to run while fighting.

Problem with an axe is that it's heavy, and you'd get tired.  You'd definitely want to fight only long enough to be able to successfully run, with the axe.  Although I agree it's a fine choice, much more serviceable than, say, a claymore or something larger.  Or a mace, which might just totally not work.
Logged
Pages: 1 [2] 3 4 ... 6
Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Entertainment  |  How to Survive a Zombie Attack « previous next »
    Jump to:  


    RSS Feed Subscribe Subscribe by RSS
    Email Subscribe Subscribe by Email


    Popular Articles
    How To Find A Bad Movie

    The Champions of Justice

    Plan 9 from Outer Space

    Manos, The Hands of Fate

    Podcast: Todd the Convenience Store Clerk

    Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

    Dragonball: The Magic Begins

    Cool As Ice

    The Educational Archives: Driver's Ed

    Godzilla vs. Monster Zero

    Do you have a zombie plan?

    FROM THE BADMOVIES.ORG ARCHIVES
    ImageThe Giant Claw - Slime drop

    Earth is visited by a GIANT ANTIMATTER SPACE BUZZARD! Gawk at the amazingly bad bird puppet, or chuckle over the silly dialog. This is one of the greatest b-movies ever made.

    Lesson Learned:
    • Osmosis: os·mo·sis (oz-mo'sis, os-) n., 1. When a bird eats something.

    Subscribe to Badmovies.org and get updates by email:

    HOME B-Movie Reviews Reader Reviews Forum Interviews TV Shows Advertising Information Sideshows Links Contact

    Badmovies.org is owned and operated by Andrew Borntreger. All original content is © 1998 - 2014 by its respective author(s). Image, video, and audio files are used in accordance with the Fair Use Law, and are property of the film copyright holders. You may freely link to any page (.html or .php) on this website, but reproduction in any other form must be authorized by the copyright holder.