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#31
Good Movies / Re: Recent Viewings, Part 2
Last post by M.10rda - December 30, 2025, 08:42:48 AM
THE LAST DAYS OF POMPEII (1935):
This draggy excuse for some climactic SFX mayhem demonstrates how little big budget Hollywood spectacles have changed in 90 years. I guess charitably you could say that bet-hedging screenwriters in the 21st century would find a way to have Mount Vesuvius erupt in the first half-hour and then deliver another 60-plus minutes of frantic escape attempts, but then (depending on the producers) maybe not. This picture could more accurately be titled THE LAST FIFTY YEARS OF ROME BEFORE THE LAST DAYS OF POMPEII and it somehow manages to incorporate Christ's trial before Pilate (which iirc didn't even take place in Italy or Rome proper let alone Pompeii) so I guess if you want to turn your action/disaster flick into a referendum on Christian mercy, you will.

A guy I've never heard of named Preston Foster who has a Will Ferrell comedy perm starts off poor but nice and then gets rich and becomes a bit of a louse, which drives a wedge between him and his teenage son, who is something of a first-century hippie. Dad has a return-to-Jesus moment though when the son gets thrown into the arena but is saved not by the bell but by a close-up of the kind of baking soda-eruption you used to make in grade-school science class. Women barely seem to exist in this world, as perhaps makes sense for what is more or less a gladiator movie. The large sausage party supporting cast includes John Wood, Edward Van Sloan, Louis Calhern (quite out of place), both Alan Hale and Jason Robards Seniors, and Basil Rathbone as Pontius Pilate, who come to Google it washed his hands of the Crucifixion about 46 years before the destruction of Pompeii, so really his pivotal involvement in this plot seems like a stretch...  :lookingup:

Vesuvius doesn't even erupt and destroy the city until the last 12 minutes. This is actually the second "destruction of Pompeii" movie I've seen this year... the first was a silent that also took forever to get the party started though when it did, the destruction was brilliantly directed. This version just throws its money at the screen like a Bruckheimer/Bay picture. You know what? I'd still reckon it's worth watching (provided you don't mind liberally exercising your FF button). I never cease admiring early 20th century miniature FX combined with full-scale practical chaos, much of which naturally looks entirely hazardous to the actors. At one point the ground collapses under or near the feet of half a dozen extras and they all fall in - vertically, not horizontally like you would if you were intentionally throwing yourself. All a viewer can do is shake their head in wonder and foolishly hope no one was harmed.  :buggedout:  :bouncegiggle: So much for the Christian mercy messaging! (Actually, Foster's final onscreen act - a touch of Hodur-ism - is every but as (justifiably) spiteful  or vengeful as it is heroic - and cheers to that!)

3/5
Directed by Ernest B. Schoedsack (say that five times fast) who also directed the more consistently entertaining MOST DANGEROUS GAME and KING KONG! He sure knew his Mayhem, though.
#32
Entertainment / Re: New! Reading Anything Thre...
Last post by Sitting Duck - December 30, 2025, 08:20:52 AM
Rereading The Pyrates by George MacDonald Fraser. Still hilarious.
#33
Bad Movies / Re: Generate Movie Poster with...
Last post by claws - December 30, 2025, 01:48:02 AM
#34
Off Topic Discussion / Re: Random Statements About So...
Last post by Trevor - December 29, 2025, 10:09:54 PM
Quote from: chainsaw midget on December 29, 2025, 06:01:23 PMMy dad's got a big gut and a long white heard.  He told me that sometime right before Christmas he was out shopping and this little 5 or 6 year old girl came up to him and asked "Are you Santa Clause for Christmas?" 

He replied "I'm actually Santa Clause all year long.  I just get dressed up for Christmas."

The little girl was so excited that she went and got her mother to come over so she could introduce him.  I thought that was adorable. 

🤗😄😊😊😊🐢
#35
Off Topic Discussion / Re: Random Statements About So...
Last post by LilCerberus - December 29, 2025, 07:42:43 PM
^ :thumbup: ^
#36
Games / Re: Answer the question with a...
Last post by bob - December 29, 2025, 07:39:52 PM


Why is the phone in the toilet?
#37
Bad Movies / Re: Generate Movie Poster with...
Last post by Rev. Powell - December 29, 2025, 06:11:11 PM
#38
Bad Movies / Re: Invent A Bad Movie Title P...
Last post by zombie no.one - December 29, 2025, 06:06:18 PM
Heli-COP-ters aka Fly S.W.A.T.
#39
Off Topic Discussion / Re: Random Statements About So...
Last post by chainsaw midget - December 29, 2025, 06:01:23 PM
My dad's got a big gut and a long white beard.  He told me that sometime right before Christmas he was out shopping and this little 5 or 6 year old girl came up to him and asked "Are you Santa Clause for Christmas?" 

He replied "I'm actually Santa Clause all year long.  I just get dressed up for Christmas."

The little girl was so excited that she went and got her mother to come over so she could introduce him.  I thought that was adorable. 
#40
Bad Movies / Re: Generate Movie Poster with...
Last post by bob - December 29, 2025, 05:17:07 PM
ChatGPT