Worst 50 Horror Films from the '80s

[clockworkcanary]

Worst 50 Horror flicks from the 1980s that played in theaters:

To kick things off, I nominate...

50.  Wes Craven's Shocker (1989)
Freddy Krueger's electric clone, initially intended to spawn his own series, Horrice Pinker appears in dreams, jumps from body to body, travels on electrical currents, and goofiest-looking of all, he can fight in TV land.  Ultimately defeated by his son, Jonathan, Jonathan's ghostly girlfriend, and a remote control.

[fortunato]

Where to begin?

49. Pieces (1982)
The funniest slasher movie ever made, but for all the wrong reasons.

[The Burgomaster]

48. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME (1981)
Any horror movie starring Melissa Sue Anderson from Little House on the Prairie definitely belongs on this list.  I bought the DVD a few months ago and it was just as bad as when I saw it during its theatrical run.

[Raffine]

47. JAWS: THE REVENGE (1987)
A psychic shark that roars seeks REVENGE against the family of the man who killed it. Good primer on the migratory habits of conchs.

I saw this at the theater during its initial run with the original 'shark speared by the boat' and 'dead Mario Van Peebles' ending.
I can feel your envy through my computer screen.

[RCMerchant]

46.the AMITYVILLE HORROR:the EVIL ECSCAPES,Part IV (1989) The evil is....a possessed lamp. Yes a LAMP. Some shmucks by it at a yard sale...and seems it used to be in the old haunted house. Pretty f#cking lame. And boring.Bad...and not in a good way;as in- picking a scab is more interesting -way.

[Torgo]

45) A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge.  One of the worst sequels ever made and it also makes a huge error on contradicting the rules established by the original film. (a couple years  before Highlander 2 would do it a few years later.)

44) A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child  The 5th elm street film commits one of the worst sins that a movie can make: It's boring as hell.   

43) Friday the 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan.  Should have been titled Jason Takes the Love Boat.  I saw this in the theater and I still to this date develop nervous ticks whenever someone brings up this cinematic abortion.

[Allhallowsday]

42) ANGEL HEART (1987)  It's been 20 years since I've looked at the thing, but I remember Robert DeNiro eats hard-boiled egg (allegory for tough-as-nails detective).  Mickey Rourke don't know it.  Confusion followed by jiggly ass shot.   Harry is no Angel. 

[Raffine]

41. THE GALAXY INVADER (1985)
"An alien is hunted by a gang of drunken hillbillies" pretty much sums it up.

Baltimore's remarkable Don Dohler remakes THE ALIEN FACTOR (1978) for the second time. For his first remake see NIGHT BEAST (1982).

Seeing Dohler regulars like George Stover (who was also in a bunch of John Waters movies, most memorably smothered to death in DESPERATE LIVING when 300 lb Jean Hill sits on his face after screaming "I don't want no white man lookin' at my Tampax!"... but I digress), Ann Frith, Richard Ruxton, Greg Dohler, etc. again is sort of like attending a family reunion for your father's creepy second cousins.

For some reason footage from this film of Stover getting clobbered by the beastie showed up in the title sequence for MST3K's version of POD PEOPLE.

R.I.P. Don.

[Ometiklan]

40. From Beyond
Highly overrated horror flick.... It did have one thing going for it tho....
   
                                              Barbara Crampton.

[Mr. DS]

39.) Creepozoids (1987) - Linnea Quiqley and a bunch of other people bumble their way across a horribly awful Aliens rip off script.  This only gives way to an Its Alive rip off which adds to the wondefully awful feel of the flick. 

[Torgo]

38) Return of the Living Dead Part 2.  Take everything that was awesome about the 1st movie and just toss it out the window by doing a lifeless cash-in/re-tread of the original whose only redeeming quality is the Michael Jackson zombie.

[sideorderofninjas]

37) Deadly Friend. 

It was overplayed so much on cable.  Teenager creates a robot and then reanimates his friend with deadly results.  How did Wes Craven keep getting to direct movies like this? 

[Jordan]

36. Hell of the Living Dead (1980) - Bruno Mattei's inept zombie "masterpiece" involving a group of Interpol agents stuck in a zombie infested section of New Guinea. The film boasts some of the dumbest characters ever (SHOOT THE ZOMBIES IN THE DAMNED HEADS ALREADY!), music by Goblin (borrowed from Romero's "Dawn of the Dead?"), and ah hell, its just an awful movie!

35. Humongous (1982) -  A group of people end up on an island inhabited by a giant, furry, cannibalistic retard. Cool idea, but damn it this one was boring.

[Joe the Destroyer]

34. The Abomination (1986)

Woman pukes up tumor, which turns out to be a monster that crawls into a boy's body and forces him to kill for it and keep it fed.  Sounds like a good premise, but the lack of editing, the switching between regular camera and camcorders, not to mention the paper mache monster, horribly mismatched audio track, and irksome acting all add up to nothing but a terrible indy flick. 

33. The Prey (1984)

A group of teens go to the woods to screw and get chopped up by a crazy burn-victim gypsy.  About 30 minutes of the film can be called "plot."  The rest can be called "filler," which involves scenes obviously taken from a nature special (a la Mattei), teens walking around and looking at the forest, and a retarded forest ranger who tells jokes to animals and does a pointless singing scene.  Thankfully, he gets killed.  It's one of those cases where the film was better off as a short.

[SaintMort]

32. My Bloody Valentine

I know alot of people who love this movie; I've even heard some people say it's the best slasher film of all time. For me it was the most boring and idiotic film in all of slasher history