Downright Creepy kids movies

[HappyGilmore]

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory- I love this version.  But it's creepy.  Johnny Depp looks like some weird Michael Jackson type.  Plus it's like, "Hey, I'm perpetually happy, and I like to harm/kill kids, while joking about it and having my midget Oompa Loompa's sing catchy songs while it's happening.  Yay!"

Still think it's great.

[TheAtomicAndrew]

Wow, you guys remember the H.R. Puffnstuff Movie?  Good times...good times...I remember watching the movie over and over again when I was a kid.  Now I'm hooked on Mama Cass, but strangely I've yet to smoke marijuana.  And I don't know about you guys, but Thomas the Tank Engine, frickin' freaked me out!  I remember a chill going down my spine whenever one of them got mad and turned red.  And the way they talked in softspoken English accents but their mouths never moved, and their eyes were glossed over and soulless...like doll's eyes!

[RapscallionJones]

The Michael Jackson movie: Moonwalker. MJ having to "Save" kids form a Drug Dealer? Sorry but anything with MJ and Kids is creepy on general principle.

Laugh all you want, but that s**t was so extremely popular when it came out.  The Bad era for Michael Jackson has this really sinister air about it in hindsight knowing what we do now, but when that album was released, you'd think he was on tour with Jesus.  All of that weird pedophile stuff started to surface around this time.

Moonwalker IS extremely strange, though.  Boylove aside, it's shocking that no one questioned his sanity when he turned into a car and then turned into a giant robot that kills Joe Pesci.  The whole movie is just crazy.

One of my favorite Michael Jackson rumors from the last couple of years was the suspect announcement that he wanted to make a feature film where he voices a talking car that befriends an abused boy and the boy gets inside him and drives him around.

Title?  Hot Rod.  The jokes write themselves.  No idea if it's true or not.  Probably not, but still funny.  Then again, Michael also wanted to commission the construction of a giant MJ robot that wanders around the Nevada desert near Vegas.

The pedophile pathology can be set aside for right now, I really want to know what his fascination with giant robot likenesses of himself and talking, anthropomorphic cars have to say about his psyche.

[HappyGilmore]

Wow, you guys remember the H.R. Puffnstuff Movie?  Good times...good times...I remember watching the movie over and over again when I was a kid.  Now I'm hooked on Mama Cass, but strangely I've yet to smoke marijuana.  And I don't know about you guys, but Thomas the Tank Engine, frickin' freaked me out!  I remember a chill going down my spine whenever one of them got mad and turned red.  And the way they talked in softspoken English accents but their mouths never moved, and their eyes were glossed over and soulless...like doll's eyes!

The Pufnstuff movie rocked.  And that Thomas thing is scary.  George Carlin was involved for a bit, too.

[HarlotBug3]

I watched a movie a while ago that I enjoyed as a little kid. It was the original THE BRAVE LITTLE TOASTER. and I gotta tell ya, that movie is EFFED UP. The air conditioner comits suicide, the used aplience man seems to "murder" his apliances, Lampy almost dies, and the entire scene at the dump leaves me a bit squeamish. WHO FRAMED RODGER RABBIT is also one that is not without is questionable parts. Any Kid-intended movies gone very very wrong that you guys an' gals can think of?

Before I go any further let me give you Karma for starting one of my favorite movie topics! 

[HarlotBug3]

The Mouse & His Son - just depressing

I think you mean THE MOUSE AND HIS CHILD... but I agree, hardly a "kid's movie."

Amazing how parents to this day always assume that Cartoon = G rating.

On the other hand, I'd rather children see something potentially 'traumatic' than some mass marketed toy-hawking shlock.

There's an obscure sci-fi toon out there called "Light Years". If Heavy Metal was pot and liquor, this one was shrooms and LSD...also easier to hide from the folks in plain sight  

[BlackAngel75]

I haven't seen any of the movies, but my brother says he's very creeped out about Children of the Corn.  I think it was the platinum haired kids with that stare that did it for him.

[AndyC]

I don't know about you guys, but Thomas the Tank Engine, frickin' freaked me out!  I remember a chill going down my spine whenever one of them got mad and turned red.  And the way they talked in softspoken English accents but their mouths never moved, and their eyes were glossed over and soulless...like doll's eyes!

That reminded me of a current show I've watched with my daughter - Rolie Polie Olie. Everything in this kid's house is alive. The furniture, the appliances, the kitchenware....heck, the house itself. They all have eyes, silently looking about in the background of every scene. It's not as if these are characters, talking and interacting with the people. They're just an ongoing presence that is never explained.

I don't know about you, but it would freak me out to go to sleep on a bed with the headboard quietly staring at me the whole time.

[RapscallionJones]

I haven't seen any of the movies, but my brother says he's very creeped out about Children of the Corn.  I think it was the platinum haired kids with that stare that did it for him.

My wife had very fond memories of that movie from her childhood, but for some reason hadn't seen it in a long time.  I tried to tell her that the appeal didn't hold up over the years and it's actually quite hokey but she wouldn't listen.  So we rented it and she understood what I was talking about.

[penny lizardo]

It sounds weird, but that movie "the last starfighter" really creeped me out. this one part where the starfighters' doppleganger starts to melt was really really iccky, couldn't bring myself to watch that again. Another strange one was "enemy mine"- those alien acid worms, the child slave pits, Dennis Quaid, it still gives me shivers..

[ghouck]

Laugh all you want, but that s**t was so extremely popular when it came out.  The Bad era for Michael Jackson has this really sinister air about it in hindsight knowing what we do now, but when that album was released, you'd think he was on tour with Jesus.  All of that weird pedophile stuff started to surface around this time.

I think that's what makes it all the more creepy: We (parents) like to think we can spot pervs, etc out of a crowd, only to find out we flew our kid halfway across the country to see one, and bought them every album they were selling. The child weirdness didn't START when it bacame public, it was already happening, or one would think. You're right though, the public, especially the American public, was buying it all up. .

One of my favorite Michael Jackson rumors from the last couple of years was the suspect announcement that he wanted to make a feature film where he voices a talking car that befriends an abused boy and the boy gets inside him and drives him around.

That's the creepiest thing I've ever heard.

[Inyarear]

On the other hand, I'd rather children see something potentially 'traumatic' than some mass marketed toy-hawking shlock.

I think I'd kind of prefer to go a middle route with the kids. The Shrek movies, in my opinion, had the right idea in this regard: put in plenty of stuff aimed at a more mature audience, but in such a way that it'll fly right over the kids' heads. Then, when they go back and re-examine the movies they remember so fondly from their youth, they'll appreciate the lessons it taught them on a somewhat deeper level.

Of course, the Shrek movies aren't really creepy at all, for all the oddball characters in them. When it comes to the creepy stuff, Tim Burton is the master of macabre movies for kids; just try watching his Corpse Bride sometime, or Nightmare Before Christmas; the guy seems to have a thing for people with detachable parts.

[HappyGilmore]

On the other hand, I'd rather children see something potentially 'traumatic' than some mass marketed toy-hawking shlock.

I think I'd kind of prefer to go a middle route with the kids. The Shrek movies, in my opinion, had the right idea in this regard: put in plenty of stuff aimed at a more mature audience, but in such a way that it'll fly right over the kids' heads. Then, when they go back and re-examine the movies they remember so fondly from their youth, they'll appreciate the lessons it taught them on a somewhat deeper level.

Of course, the Shrek movies aren't really creepy at all, for all the oddball characters in them. When it comes to the creepy stuff, Tim Burton is the master of macabre movies for kids; just try watching his Corpse Bride sometime, or Nightmare Before Christmas; the guy seems to have a thing for people with detachable parts.

Or Burton's short film FrankenWeenie.  Basically, it's a 35 minute version of Frankenstein, starring Shelly Duvall, Daniel Stern and the kid from Neverending Story.  Only difference is, the kid's dog gets hit by a car, dies, and the kid learns in science class about electricity and that with enough voltage, voila.  Things come back to life.  So he digs up his dog, resurrects it, and all hell breaks loose.  Hilarious.  Saw it when I was 10, maybe 13 years ago when Disney released it on home video. 

[Inyarear]

Or Burton's short film FrankenWeenie.

Heh heh! I've seen that one, and it is hilarious. I think the part I liked best was the scene where the kid is sitting there mourning his dead dog, and the rain is pattering dramatically against the window, and then the camera pulls back to reveal that the "rain" is actually just the spray from his mother's garden hose, which she's using to water the shrubs around her house.

[HappyGilmore]

I don't think anyone I know saw FrankenWeenie.  Good little short flick.