My 100 Karma point comedy celebration!

[Derf]

Oooh, blonde jokes!

Did you hear about the blonde terrorist who tried to blow up a bus? She burned her lips on the tailpipe.

What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair dark? Artificial intelligence.

[Killer Bees]

The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had s!x together over fifty years ago? We went behind this very tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you?"

"Yes, "she says, "I remember it well."

"OK," he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"

"Oh Charlie, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!"

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having s!x against a fence.  I'll just keep and eye on them so there's no trouble.   So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks.  Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence.

The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in. Suddenly they erupt into the most furious s!x that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for a good ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming.

Finally, they both collapse, panting on to the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.  After about half and hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on.

The policeman is still watching and thinks to himself, I've got to ask them what their secret is.  So, as the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else.  You must've had a fantastic s!x life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?"

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, "Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."

[frank]

Yo Mama's so dumb that she tripped over a cordless phone.

Yo Mama's so dumb she sits on the TV and watches couch.

[Killer Bees]

Stop me if you've heard this  one before.....
Two blondes were passing each other on the opposite sides of a road.  The first blonde yelled to the other:
"How to do I get to the other side?"
The second blonde said, "What do you mean? You're on the other side!"

KillerBees, that is one of my favorite jokes, and it's a river they're walking along, and it can be bee-you-tee-fully milked...!!  Which is what I would have done with it.  You were brief 'cause y're a g'girl.  Thanks for the chuckle. 

You're welcome, AllHallowsDay

Sorry I didn't reply sooner, been a bit busy at work lately.

As for the joke, that's the way I heard it but I guess it could be told a number of ways.  I'd only heard it in it's brief form.

[Patient7]

The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had s!x together over fifty years ago? We went behind this very tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you?"

"Yes, "she says, "I remember it well."

"OK," he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"

"Oh Charlie, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!"

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having s!x against a fence.  I'll just keep and eye on them so there's no trouble.   So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks.  Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence.

The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in. Suddenly they erupt into the most furious s!x that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for a good ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming.

Finally, they both collapse, panting on to the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.  After about half and hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on.

The policeman is still watching and thinks to himself, I've got to ask them what their secret is.  So, as the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else.  You must've had a fantastic s!x life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?"

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, "Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."

I like the punchline, but the beggining and middle are going to give me nightmares.

Does this count as a joke?

[KYGOTC]

Yo Mama's so dumb that she tripped over a cordless phone.

Yo Mama's so dumb she sits on the TV and watches couch.

Yo mama's so UGLY, when she walks into a bank, they turn off the cameras!

[flackbait]

Yo Mama's so dumb that she tripped over a cordless phone.

Yo Mama's so dumb she sits on the TV and watches couch.

Yo mama's so UGLY, when she walks into a bank, they turn off the cameras!

Yo mamas so fat she uses I-95 as a slip n slide!

[CheezeFlixz]

Your momma so fat it takes me 2 cab rides, a trolley and the cross town bus to get on her good side.

[ulthar]

Cowboy walks into an empty saloon

'where's everyone today bartender?' he asks

'gone to the hanging' says the barman

'who they hanging then'

'brownpaper Pete' says the barman

'why they call him brownpaper Pete?

'well his hat's made of brown paper, his shirt's made of brown paper, his pant's are made of brown paper and his boots are made of brown paper.

'What they hanging him for?' asks the cowboy

Barman replies' RUSTLING'

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

How did they measure hail before golf balls were invented?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Man robs a bank and takes hostages.

He asks the first hostage if he saw him rob the bank.
The hostage answers, yes.

The robber shoots him dead.

He asks the second hostage if he too saw him rob the bank.
The second hostage says, yes, and the robber shoots him dead.

The robber goes up to the third hostage and asks him if he saw him rob the bank.
The third hostage answers, "No, but my wife did."

[odinn7]

Man robs a bank and takes hostages.

He asks the first hostage if he saw him rob the bank.
The hostage answers, yes.

The robber shoots him dead.

He asks the second hostage if he too saw him rob the bank.
The second hostage says, yes, and the robber shoots him dead.

The robber goes up to the third hostage and asks him if he saw him rob the bank.
The third hostage answers, "No, but my wife did."

LMFAO!!!! Oh man....that has such special meaning for me...LOL....thanks for the laugh.

[KYGOTC]

Yo Mama's so dumb that she tripped over a cordless phone.

Yo Mama's so dumb she sits on the TV and watches couch.

Yo mama's so UGLY, when she walks into a bank, they turn off the cameras!

Yo mamas so fat she uses I-95 as a slip n slide!

Yo mama's so ugly, when she go to a strip club, poeple pay her to keep her clothers ON.

[Patient7]

Yo mama's so fat, she once wore a bright yellow poncho and kids ran towards her shouting, "Wait, schoolbus, wait!"

[CheezeFlixz]

You mamma so fat her blood type is Rocky Road.

[Patient7]

Yo mama's so fat her belt size is equator!

[Derf]

Yo mama is so stupid she's, like, retarded or something. (I somehow don't think I'm doing it right  )

From others:
Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to drop acid but the car battery fell on her foot.

Yo mama is so stupid, she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing out all the W's.

Yo mama is so ugly, she made an onion cry.