Things You've Learned From Commercials

[Mr. DS]

Every time you make crescent rolls you'll have to poke a small man made out of dough in the stomach.

People who eat at Sonic enjoy really stupid conversations. 

Some burgers are protected by alarms. 

A place with a rodent as a mascot not only sells food but is a place where kids go to have fun. 

Giving a girl jewelry must always be preempted with an awful pun or line. 

[paula]

most prescription pills have horrific side effects...but you should take them anyway

if you are in debt, you should pay someone to consolidate your debt...even though you could do it on your own

using a feminine hygiene product gives you a feeling like a day at the park, or dinner with girlfriends, or day at the beach(etc. etc.)

using male enhancement products makes all your girlfriends want your man's package...and that's ok with you.

stars with millions of dollars use weight loss products and/or excercise products to look perfect in a SUPER short time...has nothing to do with fact that they have the $$ to get lypo.

you should pay $1.50 and over for a bottle of water...even though a few years ago, we got it free out of the tap, and at some point it was drinkable.

you should believe in true love and love a man for his spirit...but getting a REALLY big diamond from Jared (insert jeweler here) helps alot!

[Mr. DS]

using a feminine hygiene product gives you a feeling like a day at the park, or dinner with girlfriends, or day at the beach(etc. etc.)

In the same neck of the woods as this thought...

Its ok to ask your mother if she douches. 

[Leah]

All products works well, but some will scare the s**t out of ya

[Silverlady]

Using Herbal Essence Shampoo instantly causes orgasms!

[Mr. DS]

If you have bad credit, then its mandatory your write a catchy song about it.

[Mr. DS]

There is a giant green man who oversees canned vegetable production

Customers at Olive Garden simply don't know how to schmooze well with their wait staff. 

Cats have lovely singing voices.   

Beggin' Strips may cause your dog to have a panic attack. 

Frank Perdue Jr. is a figure skater. 

[Leah]

Burger King BRAGS a lot

Some people who don't know they're credit score will sing about it

drink Gatorade and you will sweat Gatorade

[retrorussell]

If you're not sure what to say to a girl you like, talk to her about McDonald's.  You will click.

[Ozzymandias]

Ozzymandias speaks: Let us not forget the PSAs.

Fathers become bad mimes when it is time to talk to their daughters about sex.
Most small children contract diseases nobody has ever heard of.
People who want to conserve energy are goofy.
Even in retirement, Patty stills seems more fun than Cathy.
Little dinosaurse are concerned about their teeth.

And of course, the classics PSA's taught us:

Colon polups are pervy guys in big red suits that dig through you refrigerator.
It is extremely funny when a bully that makes fun of kids for wearing a bicycle helmet runs into something and gets a concusion.
Sparkle City has a superhero in a grey business suite and hat cleaning up trash.
Don't smoke around your child or a performing dolphin.
Al Lewis sends maniquin heads through the mail.
Batman pays Robin and Batgirl.
Drugs will cause you brains to look like a sunny side up egg.
Throwing trash out of a moving car will cause Native Americans to cry.

Ozzymandias has spoken!!!

[retrorussell]

Old, washed-up sitcom stars of yesteryear advertise Old Navy merchandise.
Splattering burger drippings on you is a good thing.

[InformationGeek]

Even balloon animals need some lovin'.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2lVcA606XMA

[Leah]

Burger King has been ripping off McDonalds for YEARS!!!

[Flu-Bird]

We learned some realy great jingles from those old TV ads and JAUN VALDEZ got around a lot him and his little donkey

[retrorussell]

Commercials don't have to have anything to do with their product, as long as they have quirky humor.
Wherever you go with your cell phone, dozens of phone company employees will follow you around.
The King is proficient at football, but will offer the opponent a burger as a gesture.