The Worst VHS Cover Artwork!

[Mofo Rising]

So, does he actually ride a flying pizza like a skateboard in the movie, or is that just artistic licence?

You know, they've had the technology for flying pizza skateboards for years, but the government won't let them release them because they're thought to be too dangerous/delicious for children.

[JPickettIII]

A bloody axe on the sleeve of a horror movie, how absurd!



Well I don't wanna open it now, nor ever, I can't even return the gift!


You should probably remove the skewer when you eat!


A giant hand lights your hair on fire and raises you up to burn a giant eyeball-- you are initiated!

Links are not working.

[Nukie 2]

I see them alright.

[AndyC]

So, does he actually ride a flying pizza like a skateboard in the movie, or is that just artistic licence?

You know, they've had the technology for flying pizza skateboards for years, but the government won't let them release them because they're thought to be too dangerous/delicious for children.

I heard something similar, except that it was being suppressed by an unholy alliance of Big Oil and Burger King.

[JJ80]

I heard that they were all set to go into production but they just couldn't arrange the dough.

[retrorussell]

Woman: Uh.. honey?  There's a little guy behind you with a tiny gun at your back.
Man: And there's a guy behind you, pointing at you and holding a gun.  Aw crap.. there's a giant hand about to hit me on the head with his gun, isn't there?

[Chainsawmidget]

Super Dude, you really need to look more excited.  I mean look at it.  You've got guns that Dirty Harry would kill for.  Oh wait.  They're apparently only those little playdo shapers. Well, at least you can balance a woman on top of one of them and you're several hundred feet high.  Plus your name is SuperDude! 

A guy called SuperDude isn't allowed to look that grumpy!  ... Of course with that name, you should probably be dressed like a surfer and wear a cape, but we'll worry about that after the grumpy thing is taken care of. 

[AndyC]

Who needs an artist? Just use a grainy, high-contrast photo and some watercolours. Nobody will ever know it isn't a painting.

[KYGOTC]

Who needs an artist? Just use a grainy, high-contrast photo and some watercolours. Nobody will ever know it isn't a painting.

GAWD that movie is borring. A friend of mine found it at a thrift store. We tried watching it. we TRIED.

[retrorussell]

This was also on the movie poster.  Somehow it scared me as a kid.  But this is silly: a disembodied woman's hand with a cat head grafted onto it?  It looks like Thing from the Addams Family had a wife who was the unfortunate victim of a scientific experiment involving a cat head.   

[AndyC]

This was also on the movie poster.  Somehow it scared me as a kid.  But this is silly: a disembodied woman's hand with a cat head grafted onto it?  It looks like Thing from the Addams Family had a wife who was the unfortunate victim of a scientific experiment involving a cat head.   

LOL. I remember thinking at the time what a goofy poster that was. A lot of horror movies used to scare me as a kid, or rather the ads on TV did. The Legacy was no exception, but seeing that picture in the newspaper ads, my reaction was more WTF? At first glance, I thought it was a weird little ghost with a cat's head, which actually would have made more sense than what I saw on closer examination. A cat's head with a hand grafted on the bottom? I dunno, maybe it's just two separate things combined, but it sure looks like a weird-ass science experiment.

[retrorussell]

I saw The Legacy for the first time several years back.  Boring and stupid, even with Roger Daltrey in it!

This could very well be the most blah vhs cover I've ever seen.  How boring!

[AndyC]

I saw The Legacy for the first time several years back.  Boring and stupid, even with Roger Daltrey in it!

This could very well be the most blah vhs cover I've ever seen.  How boring!

The problem with that one, for me, is that my first impression is of someone inside looking out, and then it becomes clear it's the other way around. That's the problem with a black figure at a window in a black wall - not much in the way of reference points. That and there is nothing overtly threatening about the guy. Once again, you have to think about the situation, and by that time, it's too late for a real gut reaction. I'd have made the woman a bit easier to discern, and given the silhouette a knife or some kind of weapon. That would at least convey an immediate sense of danger.

And what exactly is going on outside? It's pitch dark in the room, yet it appears to be either sunrise or sunset outside. Or maybe a thunderstorm. Or the background from a Ralph Bakshi cartoon.

[Joe the Destroyer]

I saw The Legacy for the first time several years back.  Boring and stupid, even with Roger Daltrey in it!

This could very well be the most blah vhs cover I've ever seen.  How boring!

The problem with that one, for me, is that my first impression is of someone inside looking out, and then it becomes clear it's the other way around. That's the problem with a black figure at a window in a black wall - not much in the way of reference points. That and there is nothing overtly threatening about the guy. Once again, you have to think about the situation, and by that time, it's too late for a real gut reaction. I'd have made the woman a bit easier to discern, and given the silhouette a knife or some kind of weapon. That would at least convey an immediate sense of danger.

And what exactly is going on outside? It's pitch dark in the room, yet it appears to be either sunrise or sunset outside. Or maybe a thunderstorm. Or the background from a Ralph Bakshi cartoon.

I'd have to agree with you.  It's vague at first glance.  Someone could stick a different title on the bottom like, "Let Me Out of This Hellhole" or "Dumbass, You Left Your Teenager Outside" and I wouldn't know the difference except that there's a lot of darkness. 

It looks to me like more attention was put into the dark clouds behind the "deadly" intruder.  Hell, I would warrant that the activity in the clouds is probably more interesting than the movie.  I'm guessing this film starts off lightly tense, drops off for about 45 minutes, then tries to pull it all together in the last act.  I'm only making that guess based on the cover art, of course. 


See: The world conquered by Yu Suzuki!  See: Evil search lights coming out of his eyes!


Axe + strawberry jam + satin sheets = COVER ART!


Portrait of a Rambo knock off


Did someone order this "cover" out of a Scholastic Newsletter, complete with markers?


Alright, honey, I need you to draw a movie cover for me.  Draw a guy that looks like Peter Petrelli holding a knife, and throw in an ugly hooker for good measure.

[retrorussell]

Hey buddy!  Turn your high beams off!  I can't see!

It looks like plastic was put all over the floor in a basement where flooding was imminent.  A mouse scurrying underneath the plastic was killed by the chop of a hatchet.  Eek!

Yeah, very bland cover.  Just some doofus off the street posing.  Woo!  I'm a stud!


This one makes me think the giant knight is saying, "Ere now!  That'll be enough smooching for you two!  Bugger off!", while the two-headed dragon looks to be in bad shape with 3 holes blasted through it and blood dripping from its maws.  "Fear our fire, puny humans! (cough cough)  We will crush you and burn down your vill.. villa.. ugh.. villages." (hack wheeze)

I guess they needed to stress just how BIG the killing was!  Stupid.. and she looks like a store mannequin.  How is this cover supposed to draw interest?[/quote]