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Reveiwing Movies that Don't exist

Started by Chainsawmidget, May 24, 2010, 05:05:36 PM

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retrorussell

Title:
The Glob of Neptune

Movie Tagline:
From outer space comes, the next big blobish beast!

Characters:
Chet Hickory - stereotypical b-movie small town sheriff who first tries to deal with the advancing glob before the National Guard takes over. Played horribly by an actor with a fake country accent and who has clearly never handled a firearm in his life. 
"Boogers" McGee - the lovable town drunk and veteran nose picker, greeted by the bartender with the catchphrase: "What'll it be, McGee?"  Eaten by a giant booger.
Ralphie Finkleman - local allergy-plagued college nerd. He is the first to discover that his allergy medicine works as a repellent against the glob. At first nobody takes him seriously.
"Spuds" Malarky - tobacco chewing farmhand cretin with a secret shack full of porn. Eaten by the Glob, shack and all, in the midst of attempting to... gag... pleasure himself.
         
         

Plot Summary:
On a clear, starry night in Wichita, Kansas, what appears to be a shooting star blazes through the sky.  It becomes bigger and bigger as it suddenly approaches Earth, and in a series of ridiculous cut-aways suddenly slams into the Earth mere seconds after its intial appearance.  A buck-toothed inbred farmer approaches it and notices a large meteor spitting out some green goo.  He cries, "Oh Lordy, that thar's a meteor!  Gyuh gyuh gyuh!"  His wife/sister runs out and stares agog at the meteor as well.  The goo formates into a large glob that engulfs them, dissolving their flesh and thankfully preventing them from procreating.       
       
       

Things I learned from this Movie:
Allergy medicines are the only hope for Earth when it comes to intergalatic warfare.     
                 
                   



Stuff to Watch For:
10 minutes - That's the Glob from Neptune? Looks more like a glob from Uranus.
                         
                       
                       
                       

Notable Quotes
"My God, It's Like Reptilicus's acidic muucs and the blob combined!"
"O the legend they say, on a Valentine's Day, is a curse that'll live on and on.."

indianasmith

Title:
The Glob of Neptune

Movie Tagline:
From outer space comes, the next big blobish beast!

Characters:
Chet Hickory - stereotypical b-movie small town sheriff who first tries to deal with the advancing glob before the National Guard takes over. Played horribly by an actor with a fake country accent and who has clearly never handled a firearm in his life. 
"Boogers" McGee - the lovable town drunk and veteran nose picker, greeted by the bartender with the catchphrase: "What'll it be, McGee?"  Eaten by a giant booger.
Ralphie Finkleman - local allergy-plagued college nerd. He is the first to discover that his allergy medicine works as a repellent against the glob. At first nobody takes him seriously.
"Spuds" Malarky - tobacco chewing farmhand cretin with a secret shack full of porn. Eaten by the Glob, shack and all, in the midst of attempting to... gag... pleasure himself.
         
         

Plot Summary:
On a clear, starry night in Wichita, Kansas, what appears to be a shooting star blazes through the sky.  It becomes bigger and bigger as it suddenly approaches Earth, and in a series of ridiculous cut-aways suddenly slams into the Earth mere seconds after its intial appearance.  A buck-toothed inbred farmer approaches it and notices a large meteor spitting out some green goo.  He cries, "Oh Lordy, that thar's a meteor!  Gyuh gyuh gyuh!"  His wife/sister runs out and stares agog at the meteor as well.  The goo formates into a large glob that engulfs them, dissolving their flesh and thankfully preventing them from procreating.       
       
       

Things I learned from this Movie:
Allergy medicines are the only hope for Earth when it comes to intergalatic warfare.     
                 
                   



Stuff to Watch For:
10 minutes - That's the Glob from Neptune? Looks more like a glob from Uranus.
                         
                       
                       
                       

Notable Quotes
"My God, It's Like Reptilicus's acidic muucs and the blob combined!"
"HOLY SHEEP SH**!!!!  It's a giant booger!"
"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"

Leah

Title:
The Glob of Neptune

Movie Tagline:
From outer space comes, the next big blobish beast!

Characters:
Chet Hickory - stereotypical b-movie small town sheriff who first tries to deal with the advancing glob before the National Guard takes over. Played horribly by an actor with a fake country accent and who has clearly never handled a firearm in his life.
"Boogers" McGee - the lovable town drunk and veteran nose picker, greeted by the bartender with the catchphrase: "What'll it be, McGee?"  Eaten by a giant booger.
Ralphie Finkleman - local allergy-plagued college nerd. He is the first to discover that his allergy medicine works as a repellent against the glob. At first nobody takes him seriously.
"Spuds" Malarky - tobacco chewing farmhand cretin with a secret shack full of porn. Eaten by the Glob, shack and all, in the midst of attempting to... gag... pleasure himself.
         
         

Plot Summary:
On a clear, starry night in Wichita, Kansas, what appears to be a shooting star blazes through the sky.  It becomes bigger and bigger as it suddenly approaches Earth, and in a series of ridiculous cut-aways suddenly slams into the Earth mere seconds after its intial appearance.  A buck-toothed inbred farmer approaches it and notices a large meteor spitting out some green goo.  He cries, "Oh Lordy, that thar's a meteor!  Gyuh gyuh gyuh!"  His wife/sister runs out and stares agog at the meteor as well.  The goo formates into a large glob that engulfs them, dissolving their flesh and thankfully preventing them from procreating.       
       
       

Things I learned from this Movie:
Allergy medicines are the only hope for Earth when it comes to intergalatic warfare.     
                 
                   



Stuff to Watch For:
10 minutes - That's the Glob from Neptune? Looks more like a glob from Uranus.
20 minutes - EWWWW, old ladies having sex with 20 year old guys!
                       
                       
                       

Notable Quotes
"My God, It's Like Reptilicus's acidic muucs and the blob combined!"
"HOLY SHEEP SH**!!!!  It's a giant booger!
yeah no.

Chainsawmidget

Title:
The Glob of Neptune

Movie Tagline:
From outer space comes, the next big blobish beast!

Characters:
Chet Hickory - stereotypical b-movie small town sheriff who first tries to deal with the advancing glob before the National Guard takes over. Played horribly by an actor with a fake country accent and who has clearly never handled a firearm in his life.
"Boogers" McGee - the lovable town drunk and veteran nose picker, greeted by the bartender with the catchphrase: "What'll it be, McGee?"  Eaten by a giant booger.
Ralphie Finkleman - local allergy-plagued college nerd. He is the first to discover that his allergy medicine works as a repellent against the glob. At first nobody takes him seriously.
"Spuds" Malarky - tobacco chewing farmhand cretin with a secret shack full of porn. Eaten by the Glob, shack and all, in the midst of attempting to... gag... pleasure himself.
         
         

Plot Summary:
On a clear, starry night in Wichita, Kansas, what appears to be a shooting star blazes through the sky.  It becomes bigger and bigger as it suddenly approaches Earth, and in a series of ridiculous cut-aways suddenly slams into the Earth mere seconds after its intial appearance.  A buck-toothed inbred farmer approaches it and notices a large meteor spitting out some green goo.  He cries, "Oh Lordy, that thar's a meteor!  Gyuh gyuh gyuh!"  His wife/sister runs out and stares agog at the meteor as well.  The goo formates into a large glob that engulfs them, dissolving their flesh and thankfully preventing them from procreating.       
       
       

Things I learned from this Movie:
Allergy medicines are the only hope for Earth when it comes to intergalatic warfare.     
                 
                   



Stuff to Watch For:
10 minutes - That's the Glob from Neptune? Looks more like a glob from Uranus.
20 minutes - EWWWW, old ladies having sex with 20 year old guys!
                       
                       
                       

Notable Quotes
"My God, It's Like Reptilicus's acidic muucs and the blob combined!"
"HOLY SHEEP SH**!!!!  It's a giant booger!
"It's like a big pile of pond scum.  You know you can't reason with pond scum."

Leah

Title:
The Glob of Neptune

Movie Tagline:
From outer space comes, the next big blobish beast!

Characters:
Chet Hickory - stereotypical b-movie small town sheriff who first tries to deal with the advancing glob before the National Guard takes over. Played horribly by an actor with a fake country accent and who has clearly never handled a firearm in his life.
"Boogers" McGee - the lovable town drunk and veteran nose picker, greeted by the bartender with the catchphrase: "What'll it be, McGee?"  Eaten by a giant booger.
Ralphie Finkleman - local allergy-plagued college nerd. He is the first to discover that his allergy medicine works as a repellent against the glob. At first nobody takes him seriously.
"Spuds" Malarky - tobacco chewing farmhand cretin with a secret shack full of porn. Eaten by the Glob, shack and all, in the midst of attempting to... gag... pleasure himself.
The Glob from Neptune - a radioactive slug that was unfortunately being submitted to animal testing. the poor thing gets bombed, hard.
         
         

Plot Summary:
On a clear, starry night in Wichita, Kansas, what appears to be a shooting star blazes through the sky.  It becomes bigger and bigger as it suddenly approaches Earth, and in a series of ridiculous cut-aways suddenly slams into the Earth mere seconds after its intial appearance.  A buck-toothed inbred farmer approaches it and notices a large meteor spitting out some green goo.  He cries, "Oh Lordy, that thar's a meteor!  Gyuh gyuh gyuh!"  His wife/sister runs out and stares agog at the meteor as well.  The goo formates into a large glob that engulfs them, dissolving their flesh and thankfully preventing them from procreating.       
       
       

Things I learned from this Movie:
Allergy medicines are the only hope for Earth when it comes to intergalatic warfare.     

                   



Stuff to Watch For:
10 minutes - That's the Glob from Neptune? Looks more like a glob from Uranus.
20 minutes - EWWWW, old ladies having sex with 20 year old guys!
                       
                       
                       

Notable Quotes
"My God, It's Like Reptilicus's acidic muucs and the blob combined!"
"HOLY SHEEP SH**!!!!  It's a giant booger!
"It's like a big pile of pond scum.  You know you can't reason with pond scum."
yeah no.

AndyC

Title:
The Glob of Neptune

Movie Tagline:
From outer space comes, the next big blobish beast!

Characters:
Chet Hickory - stereotypical b-movie small town sheriff who first tries to deal with the advancing glob before the National Guard takes over. Played horribly by an actor with a fake country accent and who has clearly never handled a firearm in his life.
"Boogers" McGee - the lovable town drunk and veteran nose picker, greeted by the bartender with the catchphrase: "What'll it be, McGee?"  Eaten by a giant booger.
Ralphie Finkleman - local allergy-plagued college nerd. He is the first to discover that his allergy medicine works as a repellent against the glob. At first nobody takes him seriously.
"Spuds" Malarky - tobacco chewing farmhand cretin with a secret shack full of porn. Eaten by the Glob, shack and all, in the midst of attempting to... gag... pleasure himself.
The Glob from Neptune - a radioactive slug that was unfortunately being submitted to animal testing. the poor thing gets bombed, hard.
         
         

Plot Summary:
On a clear, starry night in Wichita, Kansas, what appears to be a shooting star blazes through the sky.  It becomes bigger and bigger as it suddenly approaches Earth, and in a series of ridiculous cut-aways suddenly slams into the Earth mere seconds after its intial appearance.  A buck-toothed inbred farmer approaches it and notices a large meteor spitting out some green goo.  He cries, "Oh Lordy, that thar's a meteor!  Gyuh gyuh gyuh!"  His wife/sister runs out and stares agog at the meteor as well.  The goo formates into a large glob that engulfs them, dissolving their flesh and thankfully preventing them from procreating.       
       
       

Things I learned from this Movie:
Allergy medicines are the only hope for Earth when it comes to intergalatic warfare.     

                   



Stuff to Watch For:
10 minutes - That's the Glob from Neptune? Looks more like a glob from Uranus.
20 minutes - EWWWW, old ladies having sex with 20 year old guys!
45 minutes - And the drunk guy swears off booze for good. How original.
                       
                       
                       

Notable Quotes
"My God, It's Like Reptilicus's acidic muucs and the blob combined!"
"HOLY SHEEP SH**!!!!  It's a giant booger!
"It's like a big pile of pond scum.  You know you can't reason with pond scum."
---------------------
"Join me in the abyss of savings."

Mr. DS

Title:
The Glob of Neptune

Movie Tagline:
From outer space comes, the next big blobish beast!

Characters:
Chet Hickory - stereotypical b-movie small town sheriff who first tries to deal with the advancing glob before the National Guard takes over. Played horribly by an actor with a fake country accent and who has clearly never handled a firearm in his life.
"Boogers" McGee - the lovable town drunk and veteran nose picker, greeted by the bartender with the catchphrase: "What'll it be, McGee?"  Eaten by a giant booger.
Ralphie Finkleman - local allergy-plagued college nerd. He is the first to discover that his allergy medicine works as a repellent against the glob. At first nobody takes him seriously.
"Spuds" Malarky - tobacco chewing farmhand cretin with a secret shack full of porn. Eaten by the Glob, shack and all, in the midst of attempting to... gag... pleasure himself.
The Glob from Neptune - a radioactive slug that was unfortunately being submitted to animal testing. the poor thing gets bombed, hard.
         
         

Plot Summary:
On a clear, starry night in Wichita, Kansas, what appears to be a shooting star blazes through the sky.  It becomes bigger and bigger as it suddenly approaches Earth, and in a series of ridiculous cut-aways suddenly slams into the Earth mere seconds after its intial appearance.  A buck-toothed inbred farmer approaches it and notices a large meteor spitting out some green goo.  He cries, "Oh Lordy, that thar's a meteor!  Gyuh gyuh gyuh!"  His wife/sister runs out and stares agog at the meteor as well.  The goo formates into a large glob that engulfs them, dissolving their flesh and thankfully preventing them from procreating.       
       
       

Things I learned from this Movie:
Allergy medicines are the only hope for Earth when it comes to intergalatic warfare.     
Alien snot is nothing anyone should drink or eat for that matter.
                   



Stuff to Watch For:
10 minutes - That's the Glob from Neptune? Looks more like a glob from Uranus.
20 minutes - EWWWW, old ladies having sex with 20 year old guys!
45 minutes - And the drunk guy swears off booze for good. How original.
                       
                       
                       

Notable Quotes
"My God, It's Like Reptilicus's acidic muucs and the blob combined!"
"HOLY SHEEP SH**!!!!  It's a giant booger!
"It's like a big pile of pond scum.  You know you can't reason with pond scum."
DarkSider's Realm
http://darksidersrealm.blogspot.com/

"You think the honey badger cares?  It doesn't give a sh*t."  Randall

Leah

Title:
The Glob of Neptune

Movie Tagline:
From outer space comes, the next big blobish beast!

Characters:
Chet Hickory - stereotypical b-movie small town sheriff who first tries to deal with the advancing glob before the National Guard takes over. Played horribly by an actor with a fake country accent and who has clearly never handled a firearm in his life.
"Boogers" McGee - the lovable town drunk and veteran nose picker, greeted by the bartender with the catchphrase: "What'll it be, McGee?"  Eaten by a giant booger.
Ralphie Finkleman - local allergy-plagued college nerd. He is the first to discover that his allergy medicine works as a repellent against the glob. At first nobody takes him seriously.
"Spuds" Malarky - tobacco chewing farmhand cretin with a secret shack full of porn. Eaten by the Glob, shack and all, in the midst of attempting to... gag... pleasure himself.
The Glob from Neptune - a radioactive slug that was unfortunately being submitted to animal testing. the poor thing gets bombed, hard.
         
         

Plot Summary:
On a clear, starry night in Wichita, Kansas, what appears to be a shooting star blazes through the sky.  It becomes bigger and bigger as it suddenly approaches Earth, and in a series of ridiculous cut-aways suddenly slams into the Earth mere seconds after its intial appearance.  A buck-toothed inbred farmer approaches it and notices a large meteor spitting out some green goo.  He cries, "Oh Lordy, that thar's a meteor!  Gyuh gyuh gyuh!"  His wife/sister runs out and stares agog at the meteor as well.  The goo formates into a large glob that engulfs them, dissolving their flesh and thankfully preventing them from procreating. Now we end up in a lab 20 years ago where there was this slug and these scientist put some kind of serum into the slug then sent him up to space, where he must have become the Glob.....
       
       

Things I learned from this Movie:
Allergy medicines are the only hope for Earth when it comes to intergalatic warfare.     
Alien snot is nothing anyone should drink or eat for that matter.
                   



Stuff to Watch For:
10 minutes - That's the Glob from Neptune? Looks more like a glob from Uranus.
20 minutes - EWWWW, old ladies having sex with 20 year old guys!
45 minutes - And the drunk guy swears off booze for good. How original.
                       
                       
                       

Notable Quotes
"My God, It's Like Reptilicus's acidic muucs and the blob combined!"
"HOLY SHEEP SH**!!!!  It's a giant booger!
"It's like a big pile of pond scum.  You know you can't reason with pond scum."
yeah no.

AndyC

Title:
The Glob of Neptune

Movie Tagline:
From outer space comes, the next big blobish beast!

Characters:
Chet Hickory - stereotypical b-movie small town sheriff who first tries to deal with the advancing glob before the National Guard takes over. Played horribly by an actor with a fake country accent and who has clearly never handled a firearm in his life.
"Boogers" McGee - the lovable town drunk and veteran nose picker, greeted by the bartender with the catchphrase: "What'll it be, McGee?"  Eaten by a giant booger.
Ralphie Finkleman - local allergy-plagued college nerd. He is the first to discover that his allergy medicine works as a repellent against the glob. At first nobody takes him seriously.
"Spuds" Malarky - tobacco chewing farmhand cretin with a secret shack full of porn. Eaten by the Glob, shack and all, in the midst of attempting to... gag... pleasure himself.
The Glob from Neptune - a radioactive slug that was unfortunately being submitted to animal testing. the poor thing gets bombed, hard.
         
         

Plot Summary:
On a clear, starry night in Wichita, Kansas, what appears to be a shooting star blazes through the sky.  It becomes bigger and bigger as it suddenly approaches Earth, and in a series of ridiculous cut-aways suddenly slams into the Earth mere seconds after its intial appearance.  A buck-toothed inbred farmer approaches it and notices a large meteor spitting out some green goo.  He cries, "Oh Lordy, that thar's a meteor!  Gyuh gyuh gyuh!"  His wife/sister runs out and stares agog at the meteor as well.  The goo formates into a large glob that engulfs them, dissolving their flesh and thankfully preventing them from procreating. Now we end up in a lab 20 years ago where there was this slug and these scientist put some kind of serum into the slug then sent him up to space, where he must have become the Glob. As they watch the rocket blast off, the lead scientist, Dr. Finkleman, is informed that his wife is in labour. Flash forward....
       
       

Things I learned from this Movie:
Allergy medicines are the only hope for Earth when it comes to intergalatic warfare.     
Alien snot is nothing anyone should drink or eat for that matter.
                   



Stuff to Watch For:
10 minutes - That's the Glob from Neptune? Looks more like a glob from Uranus.
20 minutes - EWWWW, old ladies having sex with 20 year old guys!
45 minutes - And the drunk guy swears off booze for good. How original.
                       
                       
                       

Notable Quotes
"My God, It's Like Reptilicus's acidic muucs and the blob combined!"
"HOLY SHEEP SH**!!!!  It's a giant booger!
"It's like a big pile of pond scum.  You know you can't reason with pond scum."
---------------------
"Join me in the abyss of savings."

InformationGeek

Title:
The Glob of Neptune

Movie Tagline:
From outer space comes, the next big blobish beast!

Characters:
Chet Hickory - stereotypical b-movie small town sheriff who first tries to deal with the advancing glob before the National Guard takes over. Played horribly by an actor with a fake country accent and who has clearly never handled a firearm in his life.
"Boogers" McGee - the lovable town drunk and veteran nose picker, greeted by the bartender with the catchphrase: "What'll it be, McGee?"  Eaten by a giant booger.
Ralphie Finkleman - local allergy-plagued college nerd. He is the first to discover that his allergy medicine works as a repellent against the glob. At first nobody takes him seriously.
"Spuds" Malarky - tobacco chewing farmhand cretin with a secret shack full of porn. Eaten by the Glob, shack and all, in the midst of attempting to... gag... pleasure himself.
The Glob from Neptune - a radioactive slug that was unfortunately being submitted to animal testing. the poor thing gets bombed, hard.
         
         

Plot Summary:
On a clear, starry night in Wichita, Kansas, what appears to be a shooting star blazes through the sky.  It becomes bigger and bigger as it suddenly approaches Earth, and in a series of ridiculous cut-aways suddenly slams into the Earth mere seconds after its intial appearance.  A buck-toothed inbred farmer approaches it and notices a large meteor spitting out some green goo.  He cries, "Oh Lordy, that thar's a meteor!  Gyuh gyuh gyuh!"  His wife/sister runs out and stares agog at the meteor as well.  The goo formates into a large glob that engulfs them, dissolving their flesh and thankfully preventing them from procreating.

Now we end up in a lab 20 years ago where there was this slug and these scientist put some kind of serum into the slug then sent him up to space, where he must have become the Glob. As they watch the rocket blast off, the lead scientist, Dr. Finkleman, is informed that his wife is in labour. Flash forward....
       
       

Things I learned from this Movie:
Allergy medicines are the only hope for Earth when it comes to intergalatic warfare.     
Alien snot is nothing anyone should drink or eat for that matter.
Alien globs are made of old blue jello, silly putty, and jam.                   



Stuff to Watch For:
10 minutes - That's the Glob from Neptune? Looks more like a glob from Uranus.
20 minutes - EWWWW, old ladies having sex with 20 year old guys!
45 minutes - And the drunk guy swears off booze for good. How original.
                       
                       
                       

Notable Quotes
"My God, It's Like Reptilicus's acidic muucs and the blob combined!"
"HOLY SHEEP SH**!!!!  It's a giant booger!
"It's like a big pile of pond scum.  You know you can't reason with pond scum."
[/quote]
Website: http://informationgeekreviews.blogspot.com/

We live in quite an interesting age. You can tell someone's sexual orientation and level of education from just their interests.

Rev. Powell

itle:
The Glob of Neptune

Movie Tagline:
From outer space comes, the next big blobish beast!

Characters:
Chet Hickory - stereotypical b-movie small town sheriff who first tries to deal with the advancing glob before the National Guard takes over. Played horribly by an actor with a fake country accent and who has clearly never handled a firearm in his life.
"Boogers" McGee - the lovable town drunk and veteran nose picker, greeted by the bartender with the catchphrase: "What'll it be, McGee?"  Eaten by a giant booger.
Ralphie Finkleman - local allergy-plagued college nerd. He is the first to discover that his allergy medicine works as a repellent against the glob. At first nobody takes him seriously.
"Spuds" Malarky - tobacco chewing farmhand cretin with a secret shack full of porn. Eaten by the Glob, shack and all, in the midst of attempting to... gag... pleasure himself.
The Glob from Neptune - a radioactive slug that was unfortunately being submitted to animal testing. the poor thing gets bombed, hard.
         
         

Plot Summary:
On a clear, starry night in Wichita, Kansas, what appears to be a shooting star blazes through the sky.  It becomes bigger and bigger as it suddenly approaches Earth, and in a series of ridiculous cut-aways suddenly slams into the Earth mere seconds after its intial appearance.  A buck-toothed inbred farmer approaches it and notices a large meteor spitting out some green goo.  He cries, "Oh Lordy, that thar's a meteor!  Gyuh gyuh gyuh!"  His wife/sister runs out and stares agog at the meteor as well.  The goo formates into a large glob that engulfs them, dissolving their flesh and thankfully preventing them from procreating.

Now we end up in a lab 20 years ago where there was this slug and these scientist put some kind of serum into the slug then sent him up to space, where he must have become the Glob. As they watch the rocket blast off, the lead scientist, Dr. Finkleman, is informed that his wife is in labour. Flash forward thirty years, to the present day.  The Glob has been living in a cave on the outskirts of Topeka, growing for ten years by eating the college school students who come there to party.  Ralphie Finkelman is dragged to one such "cave party" by his cool jock roommate, who plans to help him lose his virginity by setting him up with Wendy, the girl who will sleep with anyone.  He meets her but just as she's removing her tank top, the Glob rises up from behind a stalagmite and engulfs her.  Soon it eats the rest of the drunken partiers, and Ralphie flees, the only escapee.  As he runs back to town we see a shot of the Glob oozing out of the cave in slow pursuit... 
       
       

Things I learned from this Movie:
Allergy medicines are the only hope for Earth when it comes to intergalatic warfare.     
Alien snot is nothing anyone should drink or eat for that matter.
Alien globs are made of old blue jello, silly putty, and jam.                   



Stuff to Watch For:
10 minutes - That's the Glob from Neptune? Looks more like a glob from Uranus.
20 minutes - EWWWW, old ladies having sex with 20 year old guys!
45 minutes - And the drunk guy swears off booze for good. How original.
                       
                       
Notable Quotes
"My God, It's Like Reptilicus's acidic muucs and the blob combined!"
"HOLY SHEEP SH**!!!!  It's a giant booger!
"It's like a big pile of pond scum.  You know you can't reason with pond scum."
I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot...

Chainsawmidget

Title:
The Glob of Neptune

Movie Tagline:
From outer space comes, the next big blobish beast!

Characters:
Chet Hickory - stereotypical b-movie small town sheriff who first tries to deal with the advancing glob before the National Guard takes over. Played horribly by an actor with a fake country accent and who has clearly never handled a firearm in his life.
"Boogers" McGee - the lovable town drunk and veteran nose picker, greeted by the bartender with the catchphrase: "What'll it be, McGee?"  Eaten by a giant booger.
Ralphie Finkleman - local allergy-plagued college nerd. He is the first to discover that his allergy medicine works as a repellent against the glob. At first nobody takes him seriously.
"Spuds" Malarky - tobacco chewing farmhand cretin with a secret shack full of porn. Eaten by the Glob, shack and all, in the midst of attempting to... gag... pleasure himself.
The Glob from Neptune - a radioactive slug that was unfortunately being submitted to animal testing. the poor thing gets bombed, hard.
         
         

Plot Summary:
On a clear, starry night in Wichita, Kansas, what appears to be a shooting star blazes through the sky.  It becomes bigger and bigger as it suddenly approaches Earth, and in a series of ridiculous cut-aways suddenly slams into the Earth mere seconds after its intial appearance.  A buck-toothed inbred farmer approaches it and notices a large meteor spitting out some green goo.  He cries, "Oh Lordy, that thar's a meteor!  Gyuh gyuh gyuh!"  His wife/sister runs out and stares agog at the meteor as well.  The goo formates into a large glob that engulfs them, dissolving their flesh and thankfully preventing them from procreating.

Now we end up in a lab 20 years ago where there was this slug and these scientist put some kind of serum into the slug then sent him up to space, where he must have become the Glob. As they watch the rocket blast off, the lead scientist, Dr. Finkleman, is informed that his wife is in labour. Flash forward thirty years, to the present day.  The Glob has been living in a cave on the outskirts of Topeka, growing for ten years by eating the college school students who come there to party.  Ralphie Finkelman is dragged to one such "cave party" by his cool jock roommate, who plans to help him lose his virginity by setting him up with Wendy, the girl who will sleep with anyone.  He meets her but just as she's removing her tank top, the Glob rises up from behind a stalagmite and engulfs her.  Soon it eats the rest of the drunken partiers, and Ralphie flees, the only escapee.  As he runs back to town we see a shot of the Glob oozing out of the cave in slow pursuit... 
       
Ralphie is picked up by Sheriff Chet.  Trying to explain what's going on, Chet locks him in jail only to change his mind a few minutes later and decide that maybe Ralphie is onto something (despite a complete lack of evidence.)  Again, showing any lack of common sense, the Sheriff, rather than investigating, immediately goes to set a trap for the creature using the towns Ladies Softball Team (all five of them) as bait! 



Things I learned from this Movie:
Allergy medicines are the only hope for Earth when it comes to intergalatic warfare.     
Alien snot is nothing anyone should drink or eat for that matter.
Alien globs are made of old blue jello, silly putty, and jam.                   



Stuff to Watch For:
10 minutes - That's the Glob from Neptune? Looks more like a glob from Uranus.
20 minutes - EWWWW, old ladies having sex with 20 year old guys!
45 minutes - And the drunk guy swears off booze for good. How original.
                       
                       
Notable Quotes
"My God, It's Like Reptilicus's acidic muucs and the blob combined!"
"HOLY SHEEP SH**!!!!  It's a giant booger!
"It's like a big pile of pond scum.  You know you can't reason with pond scum."

JaseSF

Title:
The Glob of Neptune

Movie Tagline:
From outer space comes, the next big blobish beast!

Characters:
Chet Hickory - stereotypical b-movie small town sheriff who first tries to deal with the advancing glob before the National Guard takes over. Played horribly by an actor with a fake country accent and who has clearly never handled a firearm in his life.
"Boogers" McGee - the lovable town drunk and veteran nose picker, greeted by the bartender with the catchphrase: "What'll it be, McGee?"  Eaten by a giant booger.
Ralphie Finkleman - local allergy-plagued college nerd. He is the first to discover that his allergy medicine works as a repellent against the glob. At first nobody takes him seriously.
"Spuds" Malarky - tobacco chewing farmhand cretin with a secret shack full of porn. Eaten by the Glob, shack and all, in the midst of attempting to... gag... pleasure himself.
The Glob from Neptune - a radioactive slug that was unfortunately being submitted to animal testing. the poor thing gets bombed, hard.
         
         

Plot Summary:
On a clear, starry night in Wichita, Kansas, what appears to be a shooting star blazes through the sky.  It becomes bigger and bigger as it suddenly approaches Earth, and in a series of ridiculous cut-aways suddenly slams into the Earth mere seconds after its intial appearance.  A buck-toothed inbred farmer approaches it and notices a large meteor spitting out some green goo.  He cries, "Oh Lordy, that thar's a meteor!  Gyuh gyuh gyuh!"  His wife/sister runs out and stares agog at the meteor as well.  The goo formates into a large glob that engulfs them, dissolving their flesh and thankfully preventing them from procreating.

Now we end up in a lab 20 years ago where there was this slug and these scientist put some kind of serum into the slug then sent him up to space, where he must have become the Glob. As they watch the rocket blast off, the lead scientist, Dr. Finkleman, is informed that his wife is in labour. Flash forward thirty years, to the present day.  The Glob has been living in a cave on the outskirts of Topeka, growing for ten years by eating the college school students who come there to party.  Ralphie Finkelman is dragged to one such "cave party" by his cool jock roommate, who plans to help him lose his virginity by setting him up with Wendy, the girl who will sleep with anyone.  He meets her but just as she's removing her tank top, the Glob rises up from behind a stalagmite and engulfs her.  Soon it eats the rest of the drunken partiers, and Ralphie flees, the only escapee.  As he runs back to town we see a shot of the Glob oozing out of the cave in slow pursuit... 
       
Ralphie is picked up by Sheriff Chet.  Trying to explain what's going on, Chet locks him in jail only to change his mind a few minutes later and decide that maybe Ralphie is onto something (despite a complete lack of evidence.)  Again, showing any lack of common sense, the Sheriff, rather than investigating, immediately goes to set a trap for the creature using the towns Ladies Softball Team (all five of them) as bait! 

In the distance watching this unfold is "Spuds" Malarky. Getting excited at the sight of so many dazzling females, he spits out a large wad of chewing "baccy" and heads for his old shed. Right in the midst of getting some "satisfaction", the Glob unexpectedly consumes him, shack and all. "Boogers" McGee, after a wild night o partying with even more dispensable college kids, awakens from a drunken stupor on a nearby hill to catch these events as they unfold.



Things I learned from this Movie:
Allergy medicines are the only hope for Earth when it comes to intergalatic warfare.     
Alien snot is nothing anyone should drink or eat for that matter.
Alien globs are made of old blue jello, silly putty, and jam.                   



Stuff to Watch For:
10 minutes - That's the Glob from Neptune? Looks more like a glob from Uranus.
20 minutes - EWWWW, old ladies having sex with 20 year old guys!
45 minutes - And the drunk guy swears off booze for good. How original.
                       
                       
Notable Quotes
"My God, It's Like Reptilicus's acidic muucs and the blob combined!"
"HOLY SHEEP SH**!!!!  It's a giant booger!
"It's like a big pile of pond scum.  You know you can't reason with pond scum."
"This above all: To thine own self be true!"

InformationGeek

I think we finished the glob one now, so I'll move on.  If not, then ignore this one until the other movie is finished.

Title: 
The Were-Gerbil from Detriot

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Website: http://informationgeekreviews.blogspot.com/

We live in quite an interesting age. You can tell someone's sexual orientation and level of education from just their interests.

AndyC

I think we finished the glob one now, so I'll move on.  If not, then ignore this one until the other movie is finished.

Title:
The Were-Gerbil from Detriot

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Chaz Winthrop III - Richard Gere! Pillar of the community with secret and unusual proclivities. Disemboweled.
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"Join me in the abyss of savings."