I'm trying not to be heartbroken.....

Jack · February 05, 2011, 07:26:50 AM

Hang in there Killer Bees - I'm way on the other side of the world, but here's a great big virtual hug for you

Maybe he just needs some time to get things straightened out in his head.

Cthulhu · February 05, 2011, 07:32:14 AM

I can't even imagine what you feel right now...that's a coplicated situation.
Maybe he just really needs some time alone. That's a lot of stuff he has to handle.
But no matter what happens, you'll be allright. Remember: Things may be bad right now, but it will get better.
I wish you the best of luck!

Cthulhu · February 05, 2011, 07:44:36 AM

Quote from: Killer Bees on February 05, 2011, 05:55:38 AM
Thank you Macabre and RC. I've been cyring on and off all day, especially at the wonderful outpouring of support and sympathy you have all shown me.

Macabre, that's a wonderful story. I'd never experienced Aspergers before and although I couldn't initially tell his kids had it, once I got to know them I could see little things. But they are great kids and I love them dearly. I must admit, I was a little wary about a future with Sean, especially the living together thing. We talked about it and I did wonder how I would cope if I moved in. But I believed that love would find a way. Maybe I didn't hide my uncertainty as well as I should have but I'd never dated a man with kids before, let alone 2 out of 3 who had special needs.

He was always wonderful about it and understood my hesitation. He did say it was a big ask for me. But it's early days still and I believed that as time went on, I would eventually be exposed to one of the boys' meltdowns and I would finally understand what he goes through every day. I actually wanted to see a meltdown because I was getting worried that I truly wouldn't be able to cope with it. But the opportunity never came and then he left.

It's the not knowing that gets to me. I just hope that he doesn't do the "noble" thing by staying away. I just that hope that he misses me so much that he has to come back.

Two things: You shouldn't hide your uncertainity. If he sees it, you two can figure out something. If he doesn't you're on your own, unable to tell him what you feel.
The second thing is: If you don't hear about him for a while, you should contact him. Don't wait for him to do it. He may think that you don't want to see him again.
Of course, wait until the situation might be resolved.

JaseSF · February 05, 2011, 09:27:16 AM

Best of luck to you KB. Love can certainly tie one's heart up in strings and hurt like Hell when things don't go right. Not sure where your partner's head is at but obviously he's got a lot on his plate. Hope things turn around for you. Take care!

Newt · February 05, 2011, 09:44:43 AM

Quote from: Cthulhu on February 05, 2011, 07:44:36 AM
If you don't hear about him for a while, you should contact him. Don't wait for him to do it. He may think that you don't want to see him again.
Of course, wait until the situation might be resolved.

I second this advice. In cases of the heart it is better to find out than to assume.

Doggett · February 05, 2011, 10:27:58 AM

Quote from: Newt on February 05, 2011, 09:44:43 AM
Quote from: Cthulhu on February 05, 2011, 07:44:36 AM
If you don't hear about him for a while, you should contact him. Don't wait for him to do it. He may think that you don't want to see him again.
Of course, wait until the situation might be resolved.

I second this advice. In cases of the heart it is better to find out than to assume.

Hmmm...

Maybe I should follow this advice too.

The Gravekeeper · February 05, 2011, 12:51:15 PM

Oh, KB...I can't even imagine what you must be feeling right now. I've never been in a situation like that, but nonetheless, my heart goes out to you. I really hope that things work out for you one way or another.

Killer Bees · February 05, 2011, 05:22:53 PM

Quote from: Jack on February 05, 2011, 07:26:50 AM
Hang in there Killer Bees - I'm way on the other side of the world, but here's a great big virtual hug for you Maybe he just needs some time to get things straightened out in his head.

Thanks Jack. I appreciate it.

I'm hoping that you're right.

Killer Bees · February 05, 2011, 05:25:41 PM

Quote from: Cthulhu on February 05, 2011, 07:32:14 AM
I can't even imagine what you feel right now...that's a coplicated situation.
Maybe he just really needs some time alone. That's a lot of stuff he has to handle.
But no matter what happens, you'll be allright. Remember: Things may be bad right now, but it will get better.
I wish you the best of luck!

Thanks, Cthulhu. I'm trying to go the positive thinking route right now. I'm hoping it will work!

Killer Bees · February 05, 2011, 05:27:29 PM

Quote from: xJaseSFx on February 05, 2011, 09:27:16 AM
Best of luck to you KB. Love can certainly tie one's heart up in strings and hurt like Hell when things don't go right. Not sure where your partner's head is at but obviously he's got a lot on his plate. Hope things turn around for you. Take care!

Thanks, Jase *hugs* fo you

Killer Bees · February 05, 2011, 05:30:36 PM

Quote from: Newt on February 05, 2011, 09:44:43 AM
Quote from: Cthulhu on February 05, 2011, 07:44:36 AM
If you don't hear about him for a while, you should contact him. Don't wait for him to do it. He may think that you don't want to see him again.
Of course, wait until the situation might be resolved.

I second this advice. In cases of the heart it is better to find out than to assume.

I agree too. I'm not going to sit and wait for him to contact me. I texted him yesterday telling him I loved him and I was here when he needed me and not to give up on us. I didn't hear anything back but I didn't expect to. I'm back at work tomorrow, so I'll see if he emails me then. If not, I will email or text every day until he gets back to me. We did that for each other anyway, so emailing every day is not an unusual thing.

Killer Bees · February 05, 2011, 05:32:26 PM

Quote from: The Gravekeeper on February 05, 2011, 12:51:15 PM
Oh, KB...I can't even imagine what you must be feeling right now. I've never been in a situation like that, but nonetheless, my heart goes out to you. I really hope that things work out for you one way or another.

Thanks Gavekeeper. The situation is out of my hands now. The only thing I can do is hope.

Couchtr26 · February 05, 2011, 07:16:24 PM

I'm sorry to hear and wish you the best. I know it is little solace. However, take care and hope for the best.

indianasmith · February 05, 2011, 11:02:08 PM

Warm hugs and best wishes, KB. I pray everything will take a turn for the better.

Paquita · February 06, 2011, 10:47:00 PM

So sorry to hear that! I know I'm coming in a little late, but I hope things get better for you! I think you did the right thing and there's a lot of good advice here! I don't know if you thought of it, but the way it sounds to me, it seems like maybe you're a little too good to be true for him. I know you had previously mentioned that when you met him initially, there were no long term intentions, but you guys kind of squashed that as the relationship grew. Maybe the situation with his ex makes it impossible (or seemingly impossible) for him to have a long-term relationship with someone else. I hope that doesn't make you feel worse! I still have hope for you! You seem like a great catch and no matter what he does, he can't make you stop caring. I do think he should at least give you an explanation.

You've got friends here! We all like you! And these guys are always good for a laugh when you need it!