GOOD jokes!

[Olivia Bauer]

Post replies where you make jokes where you actually TRY to be funny instead of being corny. I made it because... Hey, why not?

Four nuns line up outside confessional. Nun #1 goes in.

Nun #1: "Father, I have sinned."
Priest: "What IS this sin?"
Nun#1: "I saw a man's penis!"
Priest: "Wash eyes with holy water and 5 hail Marys."
*Nun #1 leaves and #2 enters*
Nun #2: "Father, I have sinned!"
Priest: "What did YOU do?"
Nun #2: "I've TOUCHED and man's penis!"
Priest: "*SIGH* 10 hail Marys and wash your hands in holy water."
*Nun #2 leaves and #3 tries to enter. Nun #4 stops her*
Nun #4: "Hold it! I'm not going to gargle water you just SAT IN!!"
*Priest face palms*

[Allhallowsday]

You'd better post that one over in the terrible jokes thread.   

[RCMerchant]

A drag queen walks into a hillbilly bar. He orders a drink.
Bartender says-"We dont serve yer kind around here! But if you go sit it the back,yer ok."
So He sits inna back.
A truck driver walks in and says-"Im so hungry,I could eat the ass outta a cow!"
The drag queen jumps on the table on all fours-"Moo-moo,big boy!"

[RCMerchant]

A guy walks into a bar with a monkey.
Bartender sez-"Cant have a monkey in here!"
Guy sez-"Wait-Ill bet $50 that if you set up 10 shot glasses this monkey can p**s into all of them without spilling a drop!"
Bartender-"Ill take that bet!"
So the dam monkey jumps on the bar and p**ses all over the place.
"HAHAHHA! I won! Pay up!" sez the barkeep.
Guy sez-"Not a problem-cuz I bet those guys inna back af the bar $200 dollars I could make you laff if a monkey p**ses on yer bar!"

[RCMerchant]

Being i is poo white trash-Im gonna use this one-
How do you find a virgin in Michigan?
Find a 13 year old that can run faster than her brother.

A Michigander is sittin in his house. Its raining. The roofs leaking. His wife sez-
"Why dont you fix the roof?"
He sez-
"When its raining I cant-and when the the sun's shining-it dont leak."

[Allhallowsday]

Did you blow bubbles as a child...????  

He's getting out of prison next week...

[Allhallowsday]

Two elderly ladies are in a car; the 92 year old is driving, the 96 year old is in the passenger seat.  
They come up to a red light, and speed right through it.  
The 96 year old thinks... did we just go thru a red light??  
They come up to another intersection, and go right through a 2nd red light.  
The 96 year old thinks... I know we just went through a red light!!  
They come up to a third intersection and zip right through their third red light!!!  
The 96 year old turns to the 92 year old and scolds her: "You do realize that we have gone thru the last three red lights?!!!"  
The 92 year old throws up her hands and replies: "Ohp!!  Am I driving??"  

[RCMerchant]

Ouch! 

[Allhallowsday]

Ouch! 

Oh, c'mon, that joke is funny!!! 

[indianasmith]

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender sez:
"Hey Buddy, why the long face?"



John Kerry walks into a bar and the bartender sez:
"Hey buddy!  Why the long face?"

[Olivia Bauer]

WARNING! This joke is a little racist!

-A Mexican, a Muslim, and a White guy find a genie's lamp-
Genie: "Make your wishes. You all get one!"
Mexican: "I wish me and my people were back in our own Latino countries prospering and being happy."
Genie: "Granted!"
*Mexican vanishes and his wish comes true*
Muslim: "I want the same for MY people! But only for MUSLIM ARABS! I also want a giant wall surrounding the Middle East! 100 miles high, 100 miles thick!"
White guy: "Why do you want that?"
Muslim: "So my country isn't TAINTED by INFIDELS like YOU!"
Genie: "It is done!"
*Muslim vanishes and his wish comes true*
White guy: "So... All the Muslims are back in their country with a wall that you can't scale or break through?"
Genie: "Yes, why?"
White guy: "I wish it was full of water!"