Make A Random Statement About Something Nobody Should Care About

[Flangepart]

Hey guys. Just returned from the future...Uh...you don't wanna know.

[AoTFan]

If Kristi Yamaguchi ran for office, her motto could be "Make America Skate Again!"

[Trevor]

Hey guys. Just returned from the future...Uh...you don't wanna know.

I do 

[ER]

Hey guys. Just returned from the future...Uh...you don't wanna know.

If you suddenly win the lottery, I'm telling Special Agent Mulder on you.

[Flangepart]

Hey guys. Just returned from the future...Uh...you don't wanna know.

I do 

Sorry, my lips are S.H.I.E.L.D....sealed! I meant sealed. Yeah, that word.

[LilCerberus]

RIP Jerry Lewis

[Flangepart]

RIP Jerry Lewis

Watching him chased through a mansion by robotic lawnmowers...made me the weirdo I am today.

[ER]

At Age Fifteen I Killed A Baby!

That got your attention, didn't it?

When I was fifteen, the Archdiocese got the bright idea of assigning every schoolgirl (not boys, mind you, the sexist goats) a freakishly life-like babydoll that we had to take care of for one weekend. The highly irritating "baby" cried at random at all hours, had sequences of buttons on her ankle that required pushing to simulate feeding, changing, burping, you name it, and a little computer inside recorded your attentiveness to her needs. I was doing an A+ job with the infant right up until the part where I dropped her on her head and killed her.

While I suppose excuses don't suffice in the case of a slain child, it wasn't entirely my fault. I had the baby in a strap-on carrier in front of me and was trying to catch a Frisbee my friend and I were keeping out of my dog, Charlotte Sometimes', reach, when a leaping Charlotte Sometimes snagged the baby as she aimed for the Frisbee, and the kid kinda slipped out, and bam, fell onto the concrete driveway. Char and I both sort of looked down for a minute and I thought, "Oh-migosh."

I knew the faint buzzing sound coming from inside Baby Darlene's head couldn't be a good sign, and I was less than reassured when the rest of the weekend the child neither fussed nor cried nor seemed to have any need for diaper changes, but I wasn't prepared to walk in on Monday and have my homeroom teacher open the panel under her onesie and lugubriously proclaim, "Why, you've killed her..."

Talk about embarrassment! The looks of indignant horror in my Right to Life-indoctrinated classmates' eyes as I, this offspring-offing barbarian, walked past them was one for the ages. Fortunately, though, I got a do-over, and that baby "Little Lyle" whose anatomical correctness was unnerving, lived to tell about his stay at Chez Moi.

[Paquita]

At Age Fifteen I Killed A Baby!

That got your attention, didn't it?

When I was fifteen, the Archdiocese got the bright idea of assigning every schoolgirl (not boys, mind you, the sexist goats) a freakishly life-like babydoll that we had to take care of for one weekend. The highly irritating "baby" cried at random at all hours, had sequences of buttons on her ankle that required pushing to simulate feeding, changing, burping, you name it, and a little computer inside recorded your attentiveness to her needs. I was doing an A+ job with the infant right up until the part where I dropped her on her head and killed her.

While I suppose excuses don't suffice in the case of a slain child, it wasn't entirely my fault. I had the baby in a strap-on carrier in front of me and was trying to catch a Frisbee my friend and I were keeping out of my dog, Charlotte Sometimes', reach, when a leaping Charlotte Sometimes snagged the baby as she aimed for the Frisbee, and the kid kinda slipped out, and bam, fell onto the concrete driveway. Char and I both sort of looked down for a minute and I thought, "Oh-migosh."

I knew the faint buzzing sound coming from inside Baby Darlene's head couldn't be a good sign, and I was less than reassured when the rest of the weekend the child neither fussed nor cried nor seemed to have any need for diaper changes, but I wasn't prepared to walk in on Monday and have my homeroom teacher open the panel under her onesie and lugubriously proclaim, "Why, you've killed her..."

Talk about embarrassment! The looks of indignant horror in my Right to Life-indoctrinated classmates' eyes as I, this offspring-offing barbarian, walked past them was one for the ages. Fortunately, though, I got a do-over, and that baby "Little Lyle" whose anatomical correctness was unnerving, lived to tell about his stay at Chez Moi.

I got the baby project when I was in 7th grade.  Ours wasn't the fancy abuse-tracking baby though, it was more of a craft project we had to carry around with us and keep from being kidnapped, and I think it was only for 2 weeks.  Of course this meant that the boys were constantly snatching the babies when the girls weren't looking.  We made them out of 2-liter bottles filled with water and covered with a sock and then we were to take them home and make them look like babies.  Mine had red hair, black eyes and fangs.  This may or may not have something to do with why I went to catholic school for 8th grade.

My friend had the electro-baby.  She was doing a great with it until some a-hole boy grabbed it and punched it a bunch of times.

What did I learn from this?  That boys will try to steal and kill your baby.

[Alex]

So while I was going to the doctors trying to find out why I was having memory issues as work they ran a load of blood tests. Found out I have diabetes, so had an appointment yesterday at the local hospital for a diabetes clinic. Found out my blood pressure and everything else other than my cholestoral which is slightly high, is all fine. My live style and eating is all good (I did get a high BMI, but thats a measurement I don't rate as meaning anything and when the doctor saw that I have a pretty wide chest and big arms (my chest is my wifes favourite physical feature of me apparently. It would be my dimples, but I use them too often to get out of trouble with her) she agreed that it wasn't down to being overweight). Apparently the reason behind my particular diabetes is my pancreas is very slowly shutting down (currently running about 50%). Its not going to cause any immediate problems and I'll simply get an annual check on it until they decide it isn't making enough insulin on its own and I need to go on medication. Does slightly annoy me though. People should be more like airplanes. If something doesn't work on them I can quickly pull it out, stick a new one in and send the faulty one back to the bays to get fixed and reused.

[ER]

What did I learn from this?  That boys will try to steal and kill your baby.

Paquita, it's been a long time since I laughed harder at something on this site....

[LilCerberus]

I'm kinda in a good mood. This lotto ticket I just spent ten bucks on is now worth at least four bucks.

[indianasmith]

I have a lawn and a mother in law.

They both refuse to die.

[Trevor]

I have a lawn and a mother in law.

They both refuse to die.

I'm not often lost for words but I was when I read that 

[Alex]

Started listening to NIN tonight, which led onto then some Gary Numan (never understood why he isn't more popular) and now seem to be listening to general 80's stuff. Currently Simple Minds is playing. Can't help but think what I am really feeling is a tad nostalgic and yearning for a time when things seemed simpler. Maybe I'll dig out some Meat Loaf and listen to Bad Out Of Hell. I remember being very young and hearing songs from that on the radio.