Things You’d Do Involving Bad Movies If You Had a Ton of Money?

[dcj2112]

I was going to say a million, but honestly that doesn't get you so far these days. And a billion just sounds cartoonish. So let's just say the genetic "bunch o' money"

As for me I've noticed fewer and fewer of bad movie directors from the drive thru era are around. However, guys like Dario Argento, Ruggero Deodato, William Grefe, Frank Hennenlotter, etc are still kicking. I'd love to set my money ablaze by hiring each to direct a new horror movie then license some of their older work. Put it all together and launch a streaming service. Or if I really want to make sure I throw away all the money I'd make it a DVD company so I could put on all the bells and whistles of special features with these releases :)

Not too related, but I figured I'd mention it. If I had that hypothetical big bucket o' cash I'd also hire David Lynch to stand around. Every so often I'd rattle off something pretentious he did then follow it up with, "You're such an a***ole." As a condition he wouldn't be able to retort he'd just have to sit there and take it. I have a feeling I'd be hanging out with David Lynch a lot because I have A LOT of material to work with.

[pacman000]

I'll go with a million.

Split it into 10 $100k increments, & make 10 B-Movies.

Each movie is allowed 1 special FX piece, like a monster or space ship, budgeted at $1000. Each movie is allowed 1 month to shoot. Each film is allowed a $50k budget; the rest of the money ios for marketing or cost over-runs.

Release these movies in January, February, August, & September, when there's little competition.

Then see what sticks.

Alternatively, I could go with $100k split into 10 $10k movies. Same special FX cost & shooting schedule; just everyone else is paid less.

[kornula]

I'll go with a million.

Split it into 10 $100k increments, & make 10 B-Movies.

Each movie is allowed 1 special FX piece, like a monster or space ship, budgeted at $1000. Each movie is allowed 1 month to shoot. Each film is allowed a $50k budget; the rest of the money ios for marketing or cost over-runs.

Release these movies in January, February, August, & September, when there's little competition.

Then see what sticks.

Alternatively, I could go with $100k split into 10 $10k movies. Same special FX cost & shooting schedule; just everyone else is paid less.

That sounds like the Godfrey Ho school of movie making.

[Trevor]

I would pay every archive in the world to send us every South African film they have: we might even find some of the lost silents.

[RCMerchant]

Open a revival theater and just show old BAD movie double features. With a weed shop in the lobby selling edibles.

[lester1/2jr]

WEEKEND AT BERNIES 3

[Alex]

WEEKEND AT BERNIES 3

I was going to suggest something, but I can't beat that.

[bob]

Lavalantula 3

[LilCerberus]

For a start, I would create my own Sketch comedy & horror show for internet & public access cable....
And I would show Triumph Of The Will the weekend before every election...

Next, I would set up a pair of big screen TVs on my front porch, & show Nosferatu (this version http://www.badmovies.org/movies/nosferatu/) every Halloween As I passed out candy!

Then, I might buy one of the abandoned offices, restaurants or nightclubs up the street from me & turn it into a second run cinema, with Classic Baddies Midnight Movies!

Just for myself, I'd go looking for some of the out takes & lost footage from Mad Max, Galaxy Of Terror, and Huntress: Spirit Of The Night...

Finally, having a little experience in the field, and a few acquaintances who might be attracted to resources & capital, I'd find someplace between 288 & the city line to start making my own gosh awful, laughably bad little stinkers....

[WingedSerpent]

Awesome home theater set-up...

Some of those lost gems I've been meaning to see....

A few trips to either bad movie locations or out of state conventions

and i would like trying my hand at making some b-movie props or creature creation

[bob]

buy and burn every copy of Bucky Larson in  the entire world

[Alex]

buy and burn every copy of Bucky Larson in  the entire world

As long as you remember watching the film, Bucky Larson will never die! 

Insert evil, indeed maniacal laugh.

[LilCerberus]

Find a '69 Charger, get it fixed up, then paint it orange, then....

Paint a Roman numeral 4 (IV) on the doors, 'cause, y'know, I'm the fourth with the family name...

Then I'd paint purple stripes on the roof, 'cause, y'know, purple & orange are my fagging colors for my sound gear....

Then, on each side, above the doors, I'd paint, "WHAT FLAG?".....
That way, if I took it to an auto show or a comic con or something & encountered some woke jerk who was offended by orange '69 chargers, I'd have a crow for them to eat!

[LilCerberus]

A clip on ponytail
A glue on handlebar mustache
a pair of thigh-high horseback riding boots
a big orange diaper & matching bandoleers
Finally, I'd blow twenty thousand dollars on an antique Webley-Fosbery .455 Automatic Revolver

And I would go down to the range dressed like that!

[VenomX73]

Find a '69 Charger, get it fixed up, then paint it orange, then....

I'd paint her all "satin shadow black" and throw a huge supercharger on!

Lift the rear 5", all M&H Racemaster tires! Blue flames on the hood and front sides