RECENT VIEWINGS (Bad Movie Thread!)

[LilCerberus]

Tonight's Stinker
Destination Inner Space (1966)
https://youtu.be/pHTmzOHr5FY?si=Y6rADXnfojYN1zNd

A navy submarine commander is called to an undersea laboratory that's shaped like a cross...
Turns out, they've been getting buzzed by a flying saucer, only underwater....
They go to investigate, & find a giant Tylenol in the ship, & predictably, take it back to the sea lab...
The pill starts getting bigger, & a guy in a rubber fish suit pops up outa nowhere....
There's also a subplot about the navy commander having an unpleasant history with one of the divers....

Pretty quick paced & engaging... The music gets kinda grating in the middle...
I give it a thumb up....

[LilCerberus]

Tonight's Stinker
ESCAPE FROM AREA 51 (2025)
https://youtu.be/0TumBb6PU9E?si=hVpsIeEf4rB1SB3N

Shot on video, lots of low brow college humor, college actors & low brow social commentary...
Former Baywatch babe Donna D'Errico plays a leotard clad alien who escapes area 51 after a vlogger takes a whiz on an electric fence....
She manages to call for rescue, but enemy aliens show up & send their leader to hunt her down on Earth...
Some predictable, but amusing teenagers attending an Area 51 festival get involved...

Corny, but still gave me a few laughs.... Several situations where they make y' think it's about to turn into a porno, but is really just a set-up for another joke...

[lester1/2jr]

Is Area 51 a reference to her age?

[LilCerberus]

Is Area 51 a reference to her age?

 

[LilCerberus]

Tonight's Stinker
J-Men Forever (1979)
https://youtu.be/8FvK4z9zjl4?si=XUHvWKovRvyNAwji

Uh, okay so, somebody took a bunch of old B&W serials re-edited them into this mess, redubbed all the audio and shot a few scenes of their own to tie everything together (kinda like The Projectionist, or Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid)....

The evil Lightning Bug intends to take over the world with rock n' roll, & when the agents of J-Men thwart his plans, he attacks the earth with Hashish....

Amusingly goofy, & got a few giggles outa me.....

[M.10rda]

ME YOU MADNESS (2021):
Madame selected this blind-watch based on its trailer and because it co-starred Ed Westwick, who played the semIconic "Chuck Bass" on the original "Gossip Girl". We watched it, cringed and 'd often, but more or less enjoyed it as Badfilm Entertainment for its duration. Of course, we knew nothing about its production or auteur until afterwards, as the opening announces the names of its stars and then the title and no further information...

FTR, Louise Linton plays a wealthy hedge fund manager who narrates & addresses the camera, comparing herself (and the film we are watching) to Patrick Bateman and AMERICAN PSYCHO, often. She's certainly narcissistic, shallow, and compulsively obsessed w/ making pop culture references! However, unlike Bateman in AP, Catherine (Linton) is a real serial killer and cannibal. She lures con artist Westwick to her mansion to seduce him, murder him, and eat him, but (rather improbably) they fall in love, yet still spend most of the movie in violent combat. There are some laughs in the screenplay and the film is slickly edited, plus the soundtrack is both pleasing and impressive - I'd imagine the two dozen or so 80s pop classics cost at least at much to license as just one Beatles song.  Catherine is not sympathetic yet Linton is never less than entertaining. She's got a cool Scottish accent and a great body that she is unafraid to show off; she can dance and fight; and she is game to be totally covered in blood, to fart (twice), to lick a dead fat man, and do all kinds of other less glamorous stuff. Then the movie ends with Catherine settling into non-homicidal domesticity at the last minute and assuming a Christ-like attitude of tolerance and compassion for her fellow humans, which was puzzling.

My wife and I were both wondering why we'd never heard of Linton. We also wondered who the heck the filmmaker was that got such a dedicated performance out of Linton and moreover who managed to secure what we imagined was a budget in the eight figures for an indie horror comedy w/ no major celebrities. Then the closing credits revealed that Linton was also the producer, writer, and director of ME YOU MADNESS. Instead of being more impressed, we did more ing. Linton trusting a director and being empowered by a director to give her ostentatious performance would be one thing; Linton fabricating an entire vanity project to showcase her ostentatious performance seemed a little different. Yet still the question remained, who is Louise Linton and where did she get the money to make this? Fortunately we have Google for such mysteries.......

As it turns out, Louise is the younger trophy wife of Steven Mnuchin, producer of WONDER WOMAN movies (among other things) and Treasury Secretary during the first Trump presidency. Mike Pence actually presided over the Linton/Mnuchin wedding      and Linton, who liked being photographed w/ Mnuchin while hanging around public functions, ended up catching heat for an array of insensitive social media posts about the same kinds of rich-person stuff Catherine likes to talk about in MYM. As of 2021 (when MYM was nominally released, somewhere) Linton has rebranded herself as a "huge Liberal". Suddenly MYM's ending makes perfect sense, with Catherine chastising the audience to judge no human on their looks, "how they smell", or on "their political beliefs". Likewise it sheds light on an earlier scene where Catherine tells Westwick's character that she killed a victim because they were a Republican, and when Westwick looks shocked, Catherine explains that her next two victims were a Democrat and an Independent. Catherine and Linton are classic "All Lives Matter" trashbags, and I haven't seen whitewashing like this in a movie since, well, WONDER WOMAN 1984! 

3/5 as stoopid entertainment
0/5 as auto-hagiography

Madame 10rda was further horrified to learn that Westwick had disappeared from the limelight following accusations that he'd assaulted three women...    ...which of course would make him an ideal leading man for Linton's project....... bleh.

[LilCerberus]

Tonight's Stinker
Port Sinister (1953)
https://youtu.be/h6xdaa704IM?si=JRZRx7fako0R5z9k

From a pretty bad print, it's too dark to see most of the time, & according to the IMDB, about ten minutes is missing.... Anyway...

A scientist pitches this notion to some institute about an island that sank 200yrs earlier, but rises when there's heavy volcanic activity... And there's a treasure on it...
Later on, the first mate of the ship he charters breaks into the scientist's hotel room, to steal a map.... The scientist walks in & gets clocked & wakes up in a hospital two states away....
He charters a plane to catch up, while the crew takes the boat, finds the island & the treasure, but it's guarded by a giant crab...

Uh, so anyway.....

[LilCerberus]

Tonight's Stinker
War of the Satellites (1958)
https://youtu.be/WK6HUh7FBUk?si=fb-s8l3RfGuvG_ZD

After losing ten spaceships & their crews, aliens get around to sending earth a message saying humans aren't good enough for space....
For insurance, the aliens kill the lead scientist & replace him with a clone who can make clones of himself, who tries to put an end to the space program, but his subordinates go against him & continue with the project.... So the alien decides to stick with it so he can sabotage the project later....

There's a really goofy scene about 35 minutes in, where they send up three rockets that release these three lemon wedges that unite to form a spherical spaceship... Seriously, it looks like this scene was a high school film project!!!!

[indianasmith]

Double posting this one:

JOHNNY GRUESOME (2018) - Is he a zombie, a vampire, an undead serial killer, or just a stupid punk who got bored with being dead?  None of these questions are answered in this insufferably awful movie!  Johnny is a long-haired death metal rocker who doesn't fit in well at school.  After being suspended for fighting, he and his friends go on a joyride to a local rock concert.  But suddenly Johnny begins speeding and swerving, and his best friend, riding in the back, strangles him while the girlfriend grabs the wheel and applies the parking brake.
   With Johnny dead, they dump the car and his body in the river, hoping the cops will think it's just an accident.  But then Johnny comes lurching out of his coffin, determined to kill everyone who ever wronged him . . . even his so-called friends.
   This could have been a "so bad it's funny" film with just a little effort, but instead it just settled for "so bad it's awful."  Not the WORST film I've ever seen - but definitely in the bottom ten!  1/5

[LilCerberus]

Tonight's Stinker
The Vampire Bat (1933)
https://youtu.be/IctQwO6YYpQ?si=PyZ58SAiSCz1-mw7

In a small German town, a serial killer is leaving victims with neck wounds, drained of blood during an infestation of bats..... Naturally, the locals speak of vampires, & citing historic examples of one...
Fingers are quickly pointed at the wild eyed village idiot who keeps bats for pets... But after he's killed, we find out it's really the local doctor, who needs the blood for a breathing potato in a fish tank....

Not too bad.... Really cool scene in this print, about halfway through, where they computer colorized the flames of torches wielded by angry peasants....

[LilCerberus]

Tonight's Stinker
LIGHT YEARS (1986)
https://youtu.be/koUpDfnq_zc?si=tLUPgOgbDicmWeKG

http://www.badmovies.org/movies/lightyears/

Peaceful people living off nature are attacked by lasers that turn them into stone.... News of this reaches an alien capital, who send a young agent to investigate....
He first encounters a group of mutants, who were created at the capital a thousand years earlier, then discarded for being ugly...
He learns that the attackers are an army of robots who worship a giant brain.... But the brain wants to help him, but the agent needs to sleep for a thousand years so that the brain will be older & weaker...

From a really bad VHS rip...
Slow & plodding at times, mostly confusing.....
This is one of those movies that back in the days of VHS rental stores, I'd read the back cover & put it back, & walk past it on future visits..... Then I read about it on the internet......
The style kept reminding me of Fantastic Planet(1973), & I couldn't stop thinking about that....

[lester1/2jr]

Runaway Nightmare (1982) - This definitely felt like some kind of tax shelter, but a pretty entertaining one. lots of "What is this for???" energy

Two guys who raise worms for a living ( in the desert??) make the mistake of rescuing a young woman from being buried alive by the mafia. As a result, they are for some reason kidnapped by her friends (they're all hot) and forced to become part of a scheme to steal massive amounts of platinum from the, again, mafia. Most of the running time is taken up by offbeat "humor" that is kind of like the first season of Sealab 2021 if you took out most of the jokes and just left the long pauses. There's no nudity, which given the situation and what the movie has to offer (not much) is a very odd decision.

The director, or one of the actors I can't remember, was involved with The Six Million Dollar Man TV show and the movie Pets. I watched it in one night, despite all of this. It's much more MST3K than "outsider cinema" or something. highly recommended and obviously free you know where

4/5





The wikipedia entry is something else https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Runaway_Nightmare#Production

[M.10rda]

Wow! Good pull, Lester. All I can think of is Brother Theodore's amazing radio spot for HOUSE BY THE CEMETARY:

"It was to be a getaway dream... it's becoming a RUNAWAY NIGHTMARE...!!!"

[lester1/2jr]

You can watch it for free like I did or there's an expensive blu ray available. Would make a great double bill with Dance or Die (1987).