RECENT VIEWINGS (Bad Movie Thread!)

[zombie no.one]

SPINAL TAP 2 (2025)

Kind of odd / melancholy watching this in the wake of Reiner's death (especially as a few scenes involve jokes about murder), but have to admit I didn't laugh once during this. :(

the band seem bored, disinterested... there are various Spinal Tap interviews and one-off promo bits from the last 20 years which are truly hilarious, all of them playing off each other to genius effect... here it all seems laboured and forced. no quotable moments. no moments of peak cringe comedy

3/11

[zombie no.one]

THE NUDE RESTAURANT (1967):

double bill with NAKED LUNCH ? 

never been tempted to watch an Andy Warhol movie. even less so now, ew...

[M.10rda]

Yeah, I think Warhol might've intended the title as some humorous reference... vis a vis Burroughs' quote "where you see what's at the end of everyone's fork". But that's the only connection I can make. I don't hate Warhol, but it always requires a bit of effort to concentrate on his films... perhaps more effort than is rewarded!

[LilCerberus]

Tonight's Stinker
Road Wars(2015)
https://youtu.be/z82TkCeoZu8?si=4LWeFYQMgvKopXTU

So, zombies have taken over the world, and a group of survivalists live out in the desert...
One day, a couple of look-outs spot a survivor with amnesia... One of the survivalists believes he might be immune to the zombie virus, & could be the key to a cure....
Meanwhile, the crew tends to bicker a lot, & there's a subplot about a rival gang late in the movie....

Tends to borrow from a few other zombie movies I'm not going to bother with, gets pretentious at times, but it's watchable.....

[M.10rda]

TRON: ARES (2025):
Madame selected this as a hate-watch. I never would've watched it otherwise and didn't expect I could even get through it, but we did. I guess that's a credit to the several "good" things about TRON: ARES, which are as follows: it has a plot that's sufficiently distinct from the first two TRONs so as not to feel redundant within the series; it generally looks cool and the action sequences are cogent, if not exemplary or anything; the (somewhat understated) Trent Reznor/Atticus Ross score works effectively with the action (though would likely be less fun to listen to independently than Daft Punk's score to TRON: LEGACY); there are about half a dozen clever lines of dialogue; Gillian Anderson is in it; and Jeff Bridges does appear eventually, looking like Jor-El and acting like The Dude.

Okay, here are the minor drawbacks of TRON: ARES: msot of the ensemble cast are anonymous jobbers who make little impression; two helmeted fighter pilots during a climactic air-battle under-emote inappropriately and turn out to be voiced by Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross... ; besides the half-dozen clever lines, the dialogue consists of one cliche after another (courtesy of apparently four or more screenwriters over 15 years); and the famous motorcycle-braking shot from AKIRA that's been recreated in countless action films since 1989 shows up here again, too, of course. None of those transgressions seem all that serious, right? But TRON: ARES does have a fatal flaw - and it's the central character of "Ares".

Yep. Jared Leto. I disliked him as "Jordan Catalano" on "My So-Called Life" and still can't stand him today; my wife thought "Jordan Catalano" was the dreamiest possible boyfriend material but now 30+ years on she can't  stomach him, either. It clearly isn't just us, either - I've seen myriad reviews and articles and posts even in the past couple of months (not to mention circa SUICIDE SQUAD and MORBIUS) expressing distaste for Leto onscreen and off, as well as lack of comprehension for how he continues to headline movies. (Add "Jared Leto" to the list of major actors Tarantino could beat up on in lieu of Paul Dano.)

As soon as Leto first appears in laconic action hero/cool guy mode, I remarked to Madame that he probably sits at home masturbating furiously to the famous "Paul Allen" scene from AMERICAN PSYCHO, watching it repeatedly and fantasizing that he's playing Patrick Bateman, soliloquizing about the brilliance of Huey Lewis, murdering Christian Bale, and proceeding to have Bale's robust career. That was an extraordinary statement, yet forty-five minutes later Ares/Leto is blankly reciting hyperbolic admiration for Depche Mode's early 80s pop singles.  Then he does it again 30 minutes later.

I could tolerate Leto in tiny doses in A. PSYCHO and FIGHT CLUB, and when it's established early on that digital avatar Ares can only exist for twenty-five minutes at a time, I was hoping that the filmmakers sought to minimize the long-term Leto exposure to their viewers. Alas, he finds a workaround and by the end is perpetually loose in the world, looking for a JOHN WICK-style franchise. Hopefully he'll never find it - BALLERINA was considered a flop when it grossed $40m more than it cost, whereas TRON: ARES grossed $80m less than its budget. Also Keanu Reeves (whatever his historical dramatic shortcomings) rides the subway to the set, gives his coats to homeless people, and has cool hair; Jared Leto lives in a former MK-ULTRA compound, is trying to become L. Ron Hubbard, and has a $#!tty mullet. I wish him nothing but failure!

2.5/5
But, y'know, if you like Jared Leto, maybe check it out.