RECENT VIEWINGS (Bad Movie Thread!)

[M.10rda]

Cherry 2000 (1988)
Ah, the eighties, when anything marked '2000' had a futuristic ring to it
Melanie Griffith is supposed to play it cool, I guess, but just comes across as sleepwalking.

  "In the YEEEEAR TWO THOU-saaaaaaaaand..."

Pretty sure this was shelved and released a couple years after its production when Griffith made WORKING GIRL... I certainly enjoyed it enough as a, uhh, pubescent boy.  Griffith was never a good actress but she looked great here. I wish she'd kept the Milla Jovavich/FIFTH ELEMENT hairstyle instead of getting a huge 80s Big Hair perm, which somehow she retained through much of the 90s.......

After watching the nightmarish 1981 film ROAR, in which Griffith was really clawed in the face by a lion and required reconstructive surgery, I've wondered if Griffith's general lack of expressiveness and blase attitude (re: playing "it cool"/"sleepwalking") was maybe due to partial facial paralysis and/or PTSD!

[Dr. Whom]

Well it is dripping with 80s cool, and if my younger self had seen it at the time, I am sure I would have thought it ultra-cool

It has been a while since I've seen a movie with peak Melanie Griffith, but I saw Something Wild when it came out, and there she blew me away. I don't think Cherry 2000 would have had quite the same effect. Come to think of it, both movies have a similar premise: yuppie gets drawn into a violent adventure with a carefree woman. Something Wild does it infinitely better.

Not that there is that much wrong with Cherry 2000. In fact, I enjoyed it rather more than I thought I would, mainly because of the completely bonkers world building. It is just that it doesn't have that much going for it either. And that is my main criterium for deciding between the good movie/bad movie category: is it worth your time. Cherry 2000 is just too much by the numbers.

[M.10rda]

You're right - SOMETHING WILD is a great movie. Again, when it comes to Griffith, maybe it's all about the hair!

[LilCerberus]

Tonight's Stinker
The 30 Foot Bride of Candy Rock(1959)
https://youtu.be/6ciAPmIEbY4?si=n-4Cpdo5pDCO3rsy

Lou Costello is a scientist who's just built a tiny supercomputer..... Unfortunately, he has to pay for it by driving a garbage truck, which also not fully paid for....
Meanwhile, the local bank owner, who owns half the town & holds a lien on the other half, is running for governor... He's trying to suck up to a TV talk show host by putting up a front as the nicest guy in town, which he has a hard time holding up...... Another problem the banker has, is warning the men of the town not to go near his niece, who's already secretly dating Costello...
Costello & the girl sneak out to a mesa so he can try out his computer on natural radiation (or something), but after an argument, she storms off into a radiation cloud & comes back thirty feet tall.... When Costello tries to tell the banker, he misunderstands, believing his niece is pregnant, and orders the pair be secretly married...
Mayhem continues to ensue as Costello tries to keep his new bride happy while the banker tries to protect his campaign....

Bud Abbott is not in this movie, & I think it works out better for it, as I've never found the pair all that funny.... This film got quite a few chuckles outa me.... Thumb up!

[M.10rda]

Bud is dead-weight - Lou is much funnier on his own! 

[LilCerberus]

Tonight's Stinker
The Wild Women of Wongo(1959)
https://youtu.be/aCIJq6GbfTE?si=naVr4s1EJ-tMzBlR

It opens with a voiceover of how mother nature tried to mix the ugly men & beautiful women in one tribe, & vice versa with another tribe, but it didn't work....
The king of Wongo, who's terrified of birds & snakes (and aeroplanes, and Lenny Bruce is not afraid), goes to the temple of the dragon to ask the high priestess to receive the women for marriage ceremonies, & then goes home.... Back at the village of Wongo, he sleeps all day while the women do chores & the men go fishing....
The prince of Goona shows up asking for help fighting against ape men, but the men of Wongo are more concerned with how the tribe's women have gone gaga over this handsome stranger, & try to kill him.... The women intervene, he gets away, & the women hafta go to the temple to prepare for marriage, & make a blood sacrifice for blaspheming their god.....
Meanwhile, a terribly annoying parrot watches it all for no reason....

Slow & grating for the most part, the audio is pretty grating.... I have a headache...
This movie can't seem to decide if it wants to take it's self seriously, or go full on comedy.....

[Dr. Whom]

Tonight's Stinker
The Wild Women of Wongo(1959)
https://youtu.be/aCIJq6GbfTE?si=naVr4s1EJ-tMzBlR

It opens with a voiceover of how mother nature tried to mix the ugly men & beautiful women in one tribe, & vice versa with another tribe, but it didn't work....
The king of Wongo, who's terrified of birds & snakes (and aeroplanes, and Lenny Bruce is not afraid), goes to the temple of the dragon to ask the high priestess to receive the women for marriage ceremonies, & then goes home.... Back at the village of Wongo, he sleeps all day while the women do chores & the men go fishing....
The prince of Goona shows up asking for help fighting against ape men, but the men of Wongo are more concerned with how the tribe's women have gone gaga over this handsome stranger, & try to kill him.... The women intervene, he gets away, & the women hafta go to the temple to prepare for marriage, & make a blood sacrifice for blaspheming their god.....
Meanwhile, a terribly annoying parrot watches it all for no reason....

Slow & grating for the most part, the audio is pretty grating.... I have a headache...
This movie can't seem to decide if it wants to take it's self seriously, or go full on comedy.....

I bought the DVD cheap on the strength of the title, and made it about 15 minutes in

[M.10rda]

It's possible that neither FOOL AND HIS MONEY nor THE EMPRESS are good median representations of Guy-Blanche as a craftsperson. She made over a hundred films, I think, and only a handful survive. Maybe we have one of the best and one of the worst, and most of her output was somewhere in the middle.

THE OCEAN WAIF (1916):
This might be the Alice Guy-Blanche "median" - competent and clear, though not too exciting. Doris Kenyon again stars as the title character, looks lovely, and appears competent. There are English intertitles that make the story more or less transparent, though not necessarily logical. Kenyon is in some kind of abusive relationship w/ a guy who looks like a cross between Italian ghoul Luigi Montefiori and horror host "Mister Lobo". She runs away from their home and hides out in a mansion that quickly becomes inhabited by a handsome author and his cowardly (and effete) manservant. The butler (who I'm pretty sure is in love w/ his boss) thinks the mansion is haunted but it's just Doris. When they finally discover her, she inspires the author to write his next masterpiece and (natch) they fall in love. Then George Eastman re-enters the picture and the film goes off on a long final tangent involving the author framed for murder, which feels totally tacked on.

THE OCEAN WAIF neither speaks poorly of nor particularly well for Guy-Blanche's abilities as a filmmaker. It's a pretty standard (dull) silent melodrama. Maybe short films were her strong point. This'll probably be my last AGB joint.    2.5/5

[M.10rda]

Tonight's Stinker
The Wild Women of Wongo(1959)
The prince of Goona shows up asking for help fighting against ape men,

I bought the DVD cheap on the strength of the title, and made it about 15 minutes in

Do the ape men ever show up?

[Rev. Powell]

SCARLET WARNING 666 [AKA It Happened One Weekend, Love Is Deep Inside, Scarlet Love] (1974): A detective, and his twin, investigate the murder of their sister at the hands of a money-worshiping cult. As far as I can tell, at least. Long unavailable, Rev. Ivan Stang of the Church of the Subgenius championed this as the worst movie ever made. Probably not, but it is in contention for the title of most confusing movie ever made. The director, Palmer Rockey, plays multiple roles, sings the awful soundtrack, and frequently narrates in voiceover discoursing (only half-jokingly) about what a genius the director is. Rockey exhibits a complete failure to communicate to the audience whatever his intentions were with this thing: legitmate attempt at an occult thriller, spoof, avant-garde meta-movie? You'll have no idea. File it with "After Last Season" as one of those movies you can't believe was ever made. 2/5, though it can be quite a slog if you try to follow the "plot" (I'm still not sure if there was one or not).

[LilCerberus]

Tonight's Stinker
The Wild Women of Wongo(1959)
The prince of Goona shows up asking for help fighting against ape men,

I bought the DVD cheap on the strength of the title, and made it about 15 minutes in

Do the ape men ever show up?

Yes, a pair of the "ape men" (who look like everybody else) show up about forty-five minutes in, for a really lame fight with the women at the temple....