Recent viewings

[dean]

Orphan (2009) - The whole thing was ludicrous but I have to admit I enjoyed it. A family adopts a Russian girl from an orphanage. Over the course of two well thought out (if,again, highly doubtful) hours all Hell breaks loose. From the ad you know everything is not what it appears with the girl but I probably shouldn't discuss the plot any more than that.

As a horror/ thriller sort of movie it's decent but where it excels is in the general film making. The budget is bigger than usual, there are no glaringly amateurish actors or weird music or anything to take you out of the story. Kind of like The Conjuring in the sense that it's that one horror movie a year Hollywood gets behind and while horror fans won't be super impressed it remains impressive for all the extra effort.

4.5 /5

I enjoyed this more than I thought I would despite knowing how it ends. Wouldn't give it as high a rating however it is in the 'above average' category for me. Thinking about it now though it's overall pretty forgettable once a few months pass.

[lester1/2jr]

I'm a pretty easy grader.

[claws]

Search and Destroy (1979)

A Vietnam veteran living near the Niagara Falls is concerned because somebody is killing his former war buddies. He does his own investigating together with his girlfriend and another vet, even though local cops are more than willing to help.

Canadian C-Movie with B-Movie qualities. Soundtrack is great (by the group FM), and there are a few well made camera moves. Search and Destroy has a pre-Rambo-esque feel to it and wants to be a serious drama. The killer is kind of corny though, and the fight scenes are more improvised than choreographed. 3.5/5

The Glove (1979)

A single father Bounty Hunter (John Saxon) is assigned to catch a man who beats up warden with a special glove.

The Glove combines film noir, Blaxploitation, Thriller and Action, is quite entertaining and even has a "message". 3.5/5

[lester1/2jr]

I vaguely remember The Glove in the most vague possible way

[Gabriel Knight]

Gymkata (1985)

I assume most people here are aware of this movie, but honestly i don't really see why all the fuss around it. Yes, it is cheesy and the plot is ridiculous, but i've seen Tarkan vs The Vikings and Killer Clowns From Outer Space, so i'm not easily impressed.
I do have to say that the movie is, to me at least, very well recorded, and the quality is enjoyable. The sound effects are ultra bad but for some reason they seem to match with the silly action, and the protagonist is some flexible son of a b***h.
Oh, and i don't consider the pommel horse scene THAT funny. I mean, it's ridiculous as the rest of the movie, but i laughed a lot with the first fight in the alley in which one of the bad guys actually falls by himself and then gets kicked in the face - followed by a RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A RANDOM DUDE IN A BYCICLE. It was actually a very interesting thing to see, because in these kind of movies for some reason the wandering people never gets punched by accident, even when everyone's launching flying kicks.

I do have to say that, after the movie finished, only questions remained in my mind: why is that every time the king comes out, the entire village seems to be waiting for him just to cheer anything he has to say? Where did they got all those ugly people to pose as townsfolk? I swear i never saw so many disgusting faces in my life, it was terrible. Where did they got that fella Thorg? He's like the friggin Hulk, hory shet - he can even use his arms with an arrow stuck right in his shoulder.
Also, why in the training session they showed Jonathan how to fight with weapons when they knew he won't be using them? Speaking of weapons, what happened with that enchanted axe and knife that shoots blades, why they didn't carried them along? And by the way, how is it that every time Jonatan finds a pole to swing around his hands get covered with powder? Are they magical or something?
I mean... its just... why the movie goes in slow motion for like five minutes? Why the dogs chasing Jonatan are clearly playing fetch instead of running after a prey? At least make them show their teeth or something. Oh, and why that guy cut his own hand? I know he's crazy but... wtf. And how the hell Jonatan's father survive so many arrow wounds in his life, he can regenerate or something?

Gymkata, man... it really makes you think.

[FatFreddysCat]

"Batman vs. Robin" (2015)

http://youtu.be/ICOmWEVuM1U

Another cool installment of animated ultra-violence from the DC Universe. A secret society of vigilantes called "The Court of Owls" has big plans for Batman, then eventually Gotham City - and they're not above using Robin as a pawn. Even darker than usual for these animated Batman flicks (which is really sayin' something!), with lots of way-cool ass-kicking. I can't wait for the upcoming 'toon take on Alan Moore's "The Killing Joke"....

[FatFreddysCat]

"Streets of Rage" (1994)


Unfortunately this uber cheap direct-to-video action flick has nothing to do with the '90s Sega Genesis video game by the same name - it's a vanity project for former lady wrestler and stunt woman Mimi Lesseos, aka "Magnificent Mimi." (Yeah, I know: "who?" I never heard of her either.) She produced, co-wrote, and stars as a reporter whose stories on homeless L.A. "street kids" get her in trouble with the gangsters who run the local child-prostitution ring. Mimi's kinda hot but the cardboard sets, After-School-Special level performances and near-total lack of actual "action" (there's maybe five minutes of fight scenes in the movie, and 80 minutes of talking, talking, talking...) made this one a tough slog.
AVOID.

[Rev. Powell]

SAFE (1995): A wealthy woman finds herself suffering from unexplained maladies and is drawn into a New Age cult that promises to deliver her from "environmental sickness." A slow-progressing but provocative exploration of a woman who comes to believe she's "allergic to the 20th century"; in these gluten-wary times, the message is still timely. 3.5/5.

[FatFreddysCat]

"American Ninja 4: The Annihilation" (1991)

http://youtu.be/9i1rrGVLlPI

It's two! Two! Two American Ninjas in one movie!!
David Bradley (the fill in guy from "American Ninja 3") gets captured by a terrorist group (who naturally have their own private army of ninjas) while on a hostage rescue mission. With no one else to turn to, the CIA calls Michael Dudikoff - aka The One True American Ninja - out of retirement to save Bradley's bacon and kick as many terrorist and ninja asses as possible in the process.

Yet another quality slab of cheap, cheesy, occasionally hilarious chop-socky action nonsense as only the mighty Cannon Films could deliver!!

[lester1/2jr]

Two Lane Blacktop - Criterion collection of this unique film about two hippy ish guys who go on some kind of hard to define gumball rally type race against a guy they meet. They are car guys and if you work on cars and like that whole vibe, I definitely don't, this is the laidback independent type movie starring James Taylor of all people for you. HAs some Easy Rider-ish charms but it's essentially PG and could have really used some fireworks

4/5 well done w/ good dialogue and acting but not a whole lot happens and its just guys and their cars really

[FatFreddysCat]

"Fanboys" (2009)

http://youtu.be/T4-PWNqCsYs

It's 1998 and four lifelong Star Wars nerds can't wait to see "Episode I"... so they take a cross-country road trip from Ohio to San Fran, hoping to break into Lucasfilm's Skywalker Ranch and sneak a peek at a rough cut of the movie. Naturally they encounter numerous obstacles - including cops, automotive troubles, angry Trekkies, and a killer pimp - along the way. A charming, hilarious road movie/coming of age story/nerd comedy that's become one of my favorite funny flicks in recent years.

[Rev. Powell]

APRIL AND THE EXTRAORDINARY WORLD (2015): In an alternate history where technology never advanced past 1870, young April seeks to find her scientist parents, abducted by unknown forces with superior technology. The expertly realized "extraordinary world," founded on Napoleon III's failed experiment to create an army of invulnerable monkeys, is the star of this lovingly dystopian science fantasy adventure; it's not steampunk, it's sootpunk. Dubbed in English with voices of Paul Giamatti, Susan Sarandon, J.K. Simmons, etc. Recommended to fans of Studio Ghibli. 4.5/5.

ANGLEUS (2000): Just before dying, the master of a cult of painters in the Polish mining town of Katowice predicts WWII, Stalin, and the end of the world by a ray shot from Saturn. This surreal evocation of buried spirituality behind the Iron Curtain is hardly coherent and ends with a whimper, but it features some great painterly imagery along the way. 3/5.

[SynapticBoomstick]

Uncaged (2015)
An enjoyable werewolf movie with practical transformation effects. It's a bit stupid early on but once the plot settles in things improve.

[Trevor]

Madhouse (1974): I saw this at about 2 am this morning - Vincent Price and Peter Cushing are always worth a few hours of lost sleep.



Oh yes: Count Yorga's in it too. 

[Trevor]

"American Ninja 4: The Annihilation" (1991)

http://youtu.be/9i1rrGVLlPI

It's two! Two! Two American Ninjas in one movie!!
David Bradley (the fill in guy from "American Ninja 3") gets captured by a terrorist group (who naturally have their own private army of ninjas) while on a hostage rescue mission. With no one else to turn to, the CIA calls Michael Dudikoff - aka The One True American Ninja - out of retirement to save Bradley's bacon and kick as many terrorist and ninja asses as possible in the process.

Yet another quality slab of cheap, cheesy, occasionally hilarious chop-socky action nonsense as only the mighty Cannon Films could deliver!!

Cedric Sundstrom's a friend of mine.