NINJA TERMINATOR !!!

RCMerchant · January 02, 2008, 10:41:43 AM

Good Sweet Be-Jeebuz!!!! Just watched on of the WORST ninja movies I've ever seen in my life. Hell...make that one of the worst movies of ANY type! And I say that in a GOOD way!!! It's called NINJA TERMINATOR-and it's horrendously BAD!!!
The plot revolves around a statue that gives ninjas super powers. But that doesn't really matter...because within the first 10 minuetes your mind has already taken such a beating that it's hard to think anyway!
The ninjas run around as if in a Benny Hill skit; one of the master ninjas makes all his plans with the others over a Garfield phone. A plastic toy robot delivers secreat messages. The dialouge would make Ed Wood envious. Theres just so much badness I can't even list it all! HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!!!

Our hero...

The Villian! (love that Doris Day wig!)

Heres the trailer...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=-SLsA_Opybw

YIKES!!! I watched it at about 2:30 in the morning...which may be a good thing...as I may have had my whole family turning on my VCR like a pack of rabid dogs!!!

Intangible Skeleton · January 02, 2008, 11:56:36 AM

HAHAHAAA! I must see this. A guy killing a load of crabs with throwing knives seems pretty rad.

Justy · January 02, 2008, 12:57:58 PM

LOL... I had one of those phones when I was kid. It's good to see it get some screen time.

Does having one of those phones make me a ninja? Maybe I'd should have realized earlier when I picked up the reciever and shurikens shot out when the eyes opened up.

Oldskool138 · January 02, 2008, 01:04:29 PM

So is this a movie about Terminators who are Ninjas or about a guy terminating ninjas?

RCMerchant · January 02, 2008, 01:38:56 PM

Quote from: Oldskool138 on January 02, 2008, 01:04:29 PM
So is this a movie about Terminators who are Ninjas or about a guy terminating ninjas?

I...I don't know! My brain kinda went into shock mode a few minutes into the movie! It has to be seen to be disbelieved...!
I broke the New Year in pretty good with this trash gem...and it only cost me a buck at a used tape and vhs store!

One bizzare scene has a ninja sneaking around inside someones house...and he does a little squat and tumble...down a flight of four steps. Yes...FOUR. GAK! Wow...that took some skill...I tell ya!

oh...and ever see an Asian who talks like a 'jive' black guy? You will...! Some of the dubbed in voices are atrocious!

Oldskool138 · January 02, 2008, 01:53:08 PM

Quote from: RCMerchant on January 02, 2008, 01:38:56 PMoh...and ever see an Asian who talks like a 'jive' black guy? You will...! Some of the dubbed in voices are atrocious!

What about Volcano High (MTV dub)? http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0301429/

RCMerchant · January 02, 2008, 04:06:28 PM

Quote from: Oldskool138 on January 02, 2008, 01:53:08 PM
Quote from: RCMerchant on January 02, 2008, 01:38:56 PMoh...and ever see an Asian who talks like a 'jive' black guy? You will...! Some of the dubbed in voices are atrocious!

What about Volcano High (MTV dub)? http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0301429/

Never heard of it....of course,I'm getting a little long in the tooth-so I don't follow MTV too much-not since the old Headbangers Ball went off the air some years back.

Jim H · January 02, 2008, 04:11:33 PM

My favorite weird voice choice is a doctor who randomly has a deep Kentuckian accent in a kung fu movie I have starring Dragon Lee.

Ninja Terminator is supposed to be amongst the best of the bad ninja movies. I've been meaning to track down a copy for ages. If I recall, it's a Godfrey Ho movie, which explains a lot.

RCMerchant · January 02, 2008, 04:42:45 PM

Quote from: Jim H on January 02, 2008, 04:11:33 PM
My favorite weird voice choice is a doctor who randomly has a deep Kentuckian accent in a kung fu movie I have starring Dragon Lee.

Ninja Terminator is supposed to be amongst the best of the bad ninja movies. I've been meaning to track down a copy for ages. If I recall, it's a Godfrey Ho movie, which explains a lot.

Yeah...it's by Godfrey Ho...I'm not real familiar with his work, so I guess I'll be looking out for his other stuff !!!

JPickettIII · January 02, 2008, 10:16:41 PM

About 50 seconds into the trailer, the black ninja looks like Ozzy Osbourne. Could it be that he was a Ninja Terminator before his triumph return to music?????

SynapticBoomstick · January 03, 2008, 12:20:21 AM

WOW!!!! Greatest ninja movie ever, I must watch!

Quote from: RCMerchant on January 02, 2008, 10:41:43 AM
The ninjas run around as if in a Benny Hill skit;

Picturing ninjas running around to Jiminy Sax makes me smile.

Justy · January 03, 2008, 04:42:44 AM

Quote from: SynapticBoomstick on January 03, 2008, 12:20:21 AM
WOW!!!! Greatest ninja movie ever, I must watch!

Quote from: RCMerchant on January 02, 2008, 10:41:43 AM
The ninjas run around as if in a Benny Hill skit;

Picturing ninjas running around to Jiminy Sax makes me smile.

With that one little old bald ninja who gets slapped on the head all the time.

RCMerchant · January 03, 2008, 06:30:21 AM

Quote from: JPickettIII on January 02, 2008, 10:16:41 PM
About 50 seconds into the trailer, the black ninja looks like Ozzy Osbourne. Could it be that he was a Ninja Terminator before his triumph return to music?????

I thought the SAME thing! "Whoa! It's Ozzy!"

MST3KFan · January 03, 2008, 08:34:21 AM

I seem to recall seeing this movie ages ago during my martial art/ninja movie kick I had going for a while...

What was up with the ending where the three ninjas duel, in the end the camo ninja puts all three gold pieces together and the red ninja does some ninja hand gesture and we see an explosion behind the camo ninja. Did the red ninja like blow himself up as a way of killing himself with honor or something?

Very confusing movie. >_O

RCMerchant · January 03, 2008, 08:47:06 AM

The thing with the staue was -if you put the three pieces together...connect the two arms to the torso...you turn into some kinda 'Ninja Terminator.' But,by the time the end of the film rolls around-your mind is so shell shocked by insanley ridiculous nonsense...it's hard to comprehend your own surrondings...let alone the convoluted story!