Top 100 Worst Kids Movies

[HappyGilmore]

7.) 3 Ninjas

I gotta say, while I liked this, it's 'success' allowed for like, 3 sequels, one of which starred Loni Anderson, Hulk Hogan and Jim Varney.

Oh, please don't piddle of the sacred grave of Jim Varney.  I actually cried when I heard he passed away.  Any man who can work a "barking spider" reference into his show is a Prince Among Men Who Like Fart Humor.

I like Jim Varney, so don't take it as a dig so much on him.  Varney was the highlight of the film.  It's just that he kinda, you know, lowered himself to be in a movie, 3 Ninjas 4: High Noon at Mega Mountain, with costars the like of Hulk Hogan, well, sucks.

[Psycho Circus]

So, are we on no.8 then or what!? 

[Joe the Destroyer]

Before Circus kills us all in our sleep. 

8) No More Baths




It plays out like a Hallmark film, where the emphasis is on "teaching good values" and "making you all warm and fuzzy inside."  It also features an annoying child protagonist who ALWAYS talks to HIS PARENTS in an IRRITATING, over-EMPHASIZING, and PETULENT VOICE.  I wanted to shoot the little bastard by the end of the movie.

[Psycho Circus]

9.) The Garbage Pail Kids Movie



I would consider this a children's "video nasty". It's totally retarted, unsuitable and just plain boring. I never forgot seeing this as a small children and thinking it was amazing. Wow, what an idiot. The acting is horrible, the jokes aren't funny and it's yet another film aimed at kids, which is full of shameless advertising.

[indianasmith]

THE ADVENTURES OF THE POLAR BEAR CUBS.


Worst anime film EVER.

[Raffine]

11) K. Gordon Murray presents SANTA CLAUS:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZp7GSLFLlQ

In Eastman Colorscope!

[InformationGeek]

12. Rainbow Brite and the Star Stealer

Andrew already covered I could possibly say about this film.

[Javakoala]

11) K. Gordon Murray presents SANTA CLAUS:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZp7GSLFLlQ

In Eastman Colorscope!

This movie could seriously damage a child, but my girlfriend and I laughed our butts off.  So very worth the $3 I paid at Walgreen's.

[The Burgomaster]

13.  THE WONDERFUL LAND OF OZ - I saw it at a Saturday matinee when I was a kid . . . and now I own the DVD.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6PUJkV9mzQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHWGjgjF068

[Raffine]

13.  THE WONDERFUL LAND OF OZ - I saw it at a Saturday matinee when I was a kid . . . and now I own the DVD.

Wow! Somebody filmed a school play! At a very, very poor school!

I've seen amateur pornos with better production values.

[The Burgomaster]

13.  THE WONDERFUL LAND OF OZ - I saw it at a Saturday matinee when I was a kid . . . and now I own the DVD.

Wow! Somebody filmed a school play! At a very, very poor school!

I've seen amateur pornos with better production values.

It was directed by Barry Mahon, who also made a lot of nudie movies.  I believe it was filmed at Pirate's World Amusement Park.  The DVD (from Something Weird) has an equally bad JACK AND THE BEANSTALK movie on it, also directed by Barry Mahon.

[Nukie 2]

14. You know what I'm going to say.
Look at my signature graphic thingie...
                  NUKIE

[Pilgermann]

Can I fill in #6-17 with the Land Before Time sequels?  Yeah, there are TWELVE of them...  And they stink, and desecrate the name of the original film.   

And you aren't including the original...why?   

Oh, God, I love The Land Before Time.  Just hearing the music chokes me up, and it has a genuinely great musical score.

The sequels are garbage, of course.

15. The Cat in the Hat (2003) -- Nothing redeeming about this movie AT ALL.

[Raffine]

13.  THE WONDERFUL LAND OF OZ - I saw it at a Saturday matinee when I was a kid . . . and now I own the DVD.

Wow! Somebody filmed a school play! At a very, very poor school!

I've seen amateur pornos with better production values.

It was directed by Barry Mahon, who also made a lot of nudie movies.  I believe it was filmed at Pirate's World Amusement Park.  The DVD (from Something Weird) has an equally bad JACK AND THE BEANSTALK movie on it, also directed by Barry Mahon.

Yeah, I've ordered this. 

Bring it on, Mahon! 

[Mofo Rising]

#16

Don't spoil it for yourself, just watch this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5A9gukuizDU

I was willing to give it a shot, the concept being just off-kilter enough that it might be amusing. It wasn't.

Some of the blame must be laid squarely on the truly atrocious and annoying English voice-over work. However, the central concept is broken, and the "lessons" contained within are warped and remarkably morbid for a children's show.

It's available to watch instantly on Netflix, if you are so inclined.