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Top 100 Worst Kids Movies

Started by InformationGeek, June 04, 2009, 06:27:11 PM

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InformationGeek

June 04, 2009, 06:27:11 PM
Everyone is always doing a top 100 list, so I figured I get in on the fun!

Anyways, this list has been a long time coming.  Any movie that was made for kids, whether live action or animation, whether the movie came out this year or came out 30 years ago, any movie that is considered a kids or younger audience movie that you thought was bad, horrible, terrible, or similiar adjectives can go on this list.

I'll kick it off with this:

1. Home Alone 4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ctYUzLUXO9M
Website: http://informationgeekreviews.blogspot.com/

We live in quite an interesting age. You can tell someone's sexual orientation and level of education from just their interests.

HappyGilmore

#1
June 04, 2009, 09:21:54 PM
2.) Santa With Muscles
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmPgWz85Us0

Basic plot: Blake (Hulk Hogan), richest man in 10 states, somehow gets amnesia and wakes up thinking he is Santa Claus.  With Muscles.  He then proceeds to beat up Garrett Morris (of SNL and Martin fame), and saves an orphanage.

The fact your movie stars the likes of Hulk Hogan, Clint Howard, Garrett Morris (Garrett Morris?) and Ed Begley Jr. speaks levels of just how horrible this is gonna be.
"The path to Heaven runs through miles of clouded Hell."

Don't get too close, it's dark inside.
It's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide.

Joe the Destroyer

#2
June 05, 2009, 04:19:48 AM
3. The Neverending Story 3



What's worse than The Neverending Story 2, has Jack Black, and utilizes obligatory and out of place pop music?  Yep, this straight-to-video stinker.  Oh, and they made Falcor mentally retarded.  What's up with that?  Yes, folks, this is the movie Jack Black wants you to forget, and I wouldn't mind doing so.  The trouble is I won't remember how much it sucks and probably watch it again. 

HappyGilmore

#3
June 05, 2009, 08:36:35 AM
3.) Mr. Nanny- Hulk Hogan is a retired professional wrestler who gets hired by a scientist to watch his bratty little kids.  He then proceeds to have a tea-party and dress in tutu's.  Co stars include Sherman Hemsley and Buster Poindexter.
"The path to Heaven runs through miles of clouded Hell."

Don't get too close, it's dark inside.
It's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide.

Psycho Circus

#4
June 05, 2009, 12:19:51 PM
5) Mac & Me



Very, very, sappy and cheesy E.T. rip-off full of shameless plugs of fast-food brands.



*Side note: I can see this thread featuring many more Hulk Hogan films...

Raffine

#5
June 05, 2009, 12:25:47 PM
Quote from: Circus_Circus on June 05, 2009, 12:19:51 PM
5) Mac & Me



Very, very, sappy and cheesy E.T. rip-off full of shameless plugs of fast-food brands.



*Side note: I can see this thread featuring many more Hulk Hogan films...

The DVD box reminds me of something...

If you're an Andy Milligan fan there's no hope for you.

Jim H

#6
June 05, 2009, 05:03:26 PM
Can I fill in #6-17 with the Land Before Time sequels?  Yeah, there are TWELVE of them...  And they stink, and desecrate the name of the original film.   :hatred:

Javakoala

#7
June 05, 2009, 05:09:45 PM
Quote from: Jim H on June 05, 2009, 05:03:26 PM
Can I fill in #6-17 with the Land Before Time sequels?  Yeah, there are TWELVE of them...  And they stink, and desecrate the name of the original film.   :hatred:

And you aren't including the original...why?   :twirl: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :twirl:

HappyGilmore

#8
June 05, 2009, 08:52:46 PM
Quote from: Javakoala on June 05, 2009, 05:09:45 PM
Quote from: Jim H on June 05, 2009, 05:03:26 PM
Can I fill in #6-17 with the Land Before Time sequels?  Yeah, there are TWELVE of them...  And they stink, and desecrate the name of the original film.   :hatred:

And you aren't including the original...why?   :twirl: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :twirl:
From what I remember, the first was kinda decent.
"The path to Heaven runs through miles of clouded Hell."

Don't get too close, it's dark inside.
It's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide.

InformationGeek

#9
June 05, 2009, 09:14:45 PM
Quote from: Jim H on June 05, 2009, 05:03:26 PM
Can I fill in #6-17 with the Land Before Time sequels?  Yeah, there are TWELVE of them...  And they stink, and desecrate the name of the original film.   :hatred:

Why don't you just name one from the series that is the worst?  I should be specific one only allowing one bad kids movie per series.  Until you pick one:

6. Rock-A-Doodle (Here's the lowest point of Don Bluth's movie career and we shall never let him forget it!)
Website: http://informationgeekreviews.blogspot.com/

We live in quite an interesting age. You can tell someone's sexual orientation and level of education from just their interests.

HappyGilmore

#10
June 05, 2009, 09:20:01 PM
Quote from: InformationGeek on June 05, 2009, 09:14:45 PM
Quote from: Jim H on June 05, 2009, 05:03:26 PM
Can I fill in #6-17 with the Land Before Time sequels?  Yeah, there are TWELVE of them...  And they stink, and desecrate the name of the original film.   :hatred:

Why don't you just name one from the series that is the worst?  I should be specific one only allowing one bad kids movie per series.  Until you pick one:

6. Rock-A-Doodle (Here's the lowest point of Don Bluth's movie career and we shall never let him forget it!)
I liked Rock-A-Doodle. :bluesad:
"The path to Heaven runs through miles of clouded Hell."

Don't get too close, it's dark inside.
It's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide.

HappyGilmore

#11
June 05, 2009, 09:23:00 PM
7.) 3 Ninjas

I gotta say, while I liked this, it's 'success' allowed for like, 3 sequels, one of which starred Loni Anderson, Hulk Hogan and Jim Varney.
"The path to Heaven runs through miles of clouded Hell."

Don't get too close, it's dark inside.
It's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide.

InformationGeek

#12
June 05, 2009, 09:24:41 PM
Quote from: HappyGilmore on June 05, 2009, 09:20:01 PM
Quote from: InformationGeek on June 05, 2009, 09:14:45 PM
Quote from: Jim H on June 05, 2009, 05:03:26 PM
Can I fill in #6-17 with the Land Before Time sequels?  Yeah, there are TWELVE of them...  And they stink, and desecrate the name of the original film.   :hatred:

Why don't you just name one from the series that is the worst?  I should be specific one only allowing one bad kids movie per series.  Until you pick one:

6. Rock-A-Doodle (Here's the lowest point of Don Bluth's movie career and we shall never let him forget it!)
I liked Rock-A-Doodle. :bluesad:

That's perfectly fine.  The movie is more of aquired taste to like, which myself and many many others lack.
Website: http://informationgeekreviews.blogspot.com/

We live in quite an interesting age. You can tell someone's sexual orientation and level of education from just their interests.

Javakoala

#13
June 05, 2009, 09:29:15 PM
Quote from: HappyGilmore on June 05, 2009, 09:23:00 PM
7.) 3 Ninjas

I gotta say, while I liked this, it's 'success' allowed for like, 3 sequels, one of which starred Loni Anderson, Hulk Hogan and Jim Varney.

Oh, please don't piddle of the sacred grave of Jim Varney.  I actually cried when I heard he passed away.  Any man who can work a "barking spider" reference into his show is a Prince Among Men Who Like Fart Humor.

HappyGilmore

#14
June 05, 2009, 09:30:17 PM
Quote from: InformationGeek on June 05, 2009, 09:24:41 PM
Quote from: HappyGilmore on June 05, 2009, 09:20:01 PM
Quote from: InformationGeek on June 05, 2009, 09:14:45 PM
Quote from: Jim H on June 05, 2009, 05:03:26 PM
Can I fill in #6-17 with the Land Before Time sequels?  Yeah, there are TWELVE of them...  And they stink, and desecrate the name of the original film.   :hatred:

Why don't you just name one from the series that is the worst?  I should be specific one only allowing one bad kids movie per series.  Until you pick one:

6. Rock-A-Doodle (Here's the lowest point of Don Bluth's movie career and we shall never let him forget it!)
I liked Rock-A-Doodle. :bluesad:

That's perfectly fine.  The movie is more of aquired taste to like, which myself and many many others lack.
In other words: "It's a big heaping piece of s**t and you have no taste in good cinema if you like Rock a Doodle"? :smile:
"The path to Heaven runs through miles of clouded Hell."

Don't get too close, it's dark inside.
It's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide.
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