Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...

[Mr. DS]

No, but I heard he likes Gladiator movies.

Why is Lindsay Lohan facing jail time?

For pretending to act

Why are there so many handicapped parking places in the world?

[retrorussell]

Beekumpf dere are lotf uv hamdeekapt peepul in de wurld.

Why are pubic lice called "crabs"?  How do they resemble the similarly-named crustaceans?

[Flangepart]

Because they listen to Larry King.


When did the giant chicken cross the road?

[Rev. Powell]

Because Bert I. Gordon couldn't shoot the scene without him.

What did Ed Wood wear when he couldn't get hold of cashmere?

[AndyC]

A frown.


Why did the Human Centipede cross the road?

[retrorussell]

To find other body parts for the sequel, "The Human Millipede".

If your pet could talk all of a sudden, what would its first words to you be?

[Raffine]

"You know, my butt really is delicious! Wanna try it?"


Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?

[AndyC]

Only the kinky ones.


Is this a dagger I see before me?

[claws]

No. That's my candy cane.

Will Paula Abdul return for the 'Idol' finale?

[Mr. DS]

She doesn't even know she left so its probable

What will Oprah do with all her spare time?

[AndyC]

I personally don't give a s**t.


How green was my valley?

[Sleepyskull]

You get an F for accuracy. It was a dried canal, but not a valley.

When Queen sang "We will, we will, rock you" were they talking about granite or sandstone?

[Leah]

neither, it was LIMESTONE!

what would a dinosaur say?

[MrMari]

Dinosaur - "Hey, whats that giant thing in the sky coming right for us?"

If Hugh Hefner's mattress could talk, what would it say?

[claws]

"Weinerschnitzel"

What exactly is the Abraham–Lorentz–Dirac force?