Mortal Kombat: Annihiliation

[Andrew]

What troubles me the most about this film is the pointlessness of reviewing it.  I am not going to convince a gaga fanboy to avoid it, and everyone else already knows that a movie based on a video game should be avoided at all costs.

Click here to go to the Review

[Leah]

WTF?

[InformationGeek]

This movie sucked harded when I sat down to watch/review it.  There were so many problems with it from the terrible use of CGI, poor acting, the obvious character changing, poor costume design (Why did Sindel dress like she was going to a superhero costume party and why did the robots have dreads?), and other things.  Biggest offense was the lame cameos of Sub-Zero, Nightwolf, and Scorpion.  Why did they bring to the table in this film anyways outside of appearing in only one scene?

Still, this is the only place where you'll hear Scorpion shout "Suckers!"

[Jack]

Kitana - What do you call a woman who is wearing a tight latex outfit, and locked in a spherical iron cage? That, my friends, is called a fetish. F-E-T-I-S-H.

Awww, you make it sound so dirty!  I dunno, this may be bad, but t looks like there are some babes in it.  I may just have to check it out 

[DavidFullam]

Well...at least the women were hot.

[Mr. DS]

Good work Andrew and I'm glad to see you survived.  This film was a horrid endeavor.  I think I may have seen it in the theater too.  There is so much wrong with this film.  I think they kinda, sorta based the plot line after MK3 in the arcade but for the most part winged it. 

The one character that made me laugh (mostly unintentionally) was Jax.  Its almost as if they followed a "Will Smith Acting Guide For Dummies" manual.   

[dean]

I can't quite remember, but is this the one where I think Sonja, and some other fighter, get in a big fight in the mud, only to appear clean as a whistle in the next scene?

If so, that was incredibly ridonculous...

I enjoy mindless action/fighting game films, but they always suffer from the above mentioned problem of adding a character just because they have to.  Much better to focus the film on a few and develop the series from there, though from what I understand the Chun Li film was terrible...

[Jack]

is this the one where I think Sonja, and some other fighter, get in a big fight in the mud,

Oh I remember seeing that.  Okay, they've got new copies of it at Amazon for 90 cents.  I'll have to think about this pretty seriously 

[Mr. DS]

is this the one where I think Sonja, and some other fighter, get in a big fight in the mud,

Oh I remember seeing that.  Okay, they've got new copies of it at Amazon for 90 cents.  I'll have to think about this pretty seriously 

I have this on VHS somewhere.  I think I bought it for about the same price, several years ago. 

[Psycho Circus]

I went to the cinema to see the first film and loved it. Looking back now, it was bad but enjoyable. Annihilation was just plain horrid, one of the worst video game films ever, worst sequels ever too! They just threw as many poorly done characters into it as possible and gave everyone some truly tragic lines of dialogue.

[DarkwingDork]

I was really upset with how they handled Sheeva. I wanted to see a hot four-armed chick kick some ass, but instead they dispatched her in the most unimaginative way possible. She's the only bad guy we didn't get to see fight. Boooooo!

Oh, the rest of the movie sucked too. Considering how much they built it up, the animality was complete waste of time.

[WingedSerpent]

I was really upset with how they handled Sheeva. I wanted to see a hot four-armed chick kick some ass, but instead they dispatched her in the most unimaginative way possible. She's the only bad guy we didn't get to see fight. Boooooo!

Oh, the rest of the movie sucked too. Considering how much they built it up, the animality was complete waste of time.

That was the biggest problem.  So many good characters only getting a cameo.  They crossed Smoke and Sektor for some reason.  Reptile and his kind where reduced to random ninja henchmen.  Baraka didn't even get anylines and looked like a halloween mask.  Poor Kabla is only mentioned getting killed.

At least Rain got killed off.

I want to be able to defend this film.  I'm a fan of the games and bad movies.  But it's hard too. 

Although I do have to say...me and my friends still quote Scorpion sometimes-yelling out "SUCKERS!"


"Suckers" that's the last thing you'd think an undead ninja would say.

[Philbert]

I remember seeing this when I was 14. I was wanting to see it so bad.

Then when I got out of the film, I wanted to erase my memory so bad. I was 14 years old and I finally realized what it was like to watch a truly, truly horrible film.

[Andrew]

Kitana - What do you call a woman who is wearing a tight latex outfit, and locked in a spherical iron cage? That, my friends, is called a fetish. F-E-T-I-S-H.

Awww, you make it sound so dirty!  I dunno, this may be bad, but t looks like there are some babes in it.  I may just have to check it out 

Unfortunately, it's not even a good sideshow of a fetish.  They don't do enough with her situation to make it interesting - like if they had slowly panned the camera over her as she lounged in her slowly swinging iron prison, with the light make little patterns on her latex suit...

Considering how much they built it up, the animality was complete waste of time.

They tried to build it up, but the whole section with Nightwolf seemed like half-though-out padding, and then when Jade showed up at the end of it, it felt like padding that had not even been given that much effort. 

The problem might very well be the storytelling style.  From what I've seen of the games, they give you a brief blip of story, then you have to defeat an opponent.  After getting past whoever, you get another blip of the story.  When you look at this movie, it's almost the same sort of approach.  Only thing is, there are not fights to win in between story blips.  The sudden lurching forward of the plot is really jarring.

Andrew,
You seem really upset with this review. Almost not yourself. No humor, no fun.
You sure you were the one who watched this film or was it your evil (read Black Lectriod) self?

I could be transforming into a crotchety old man.  It's a natural progression for some males.  As we get older, we get more and more acerbic, until we are little more than a bag of wrinkled flesh that complains whenever it's awake.  I was trying to have some fun with the review, like comparing the Outworld invasion to a case of flaming outer space hemorrhoids, and Rayden's unusual transition.

I can't quite remember, but is this the one where I think Sonja, and some other fighter, get in a big fight in the mud, only to appear clean as a whistle in the next scene?

If so, that was incredibly ridonculous...

That is this movie, which caused this Lesson Learned:  "The Colorado River is 25% bleach."  Right after the fight, Sonja tells Jax that she wants to find a river to wash herself off.  Her outfit is bright and pearly white in the next darn scene.

[Wayne Nuggets]

The part where Rayden says to Jax "What's the deal with your arms?" is my favourite moment from this laugh-fest. It's just so out of place considering the preceding sentence. Glad the reviewer chose the conversation that features this awkward line in the audio clips.

I also love the way you can see the actor who plays Shao Khan cautiously glancing over to the actress playing Sindel to see if it's the right time to start laughing maniacally when they're both mounted on their horses watching the good guys run into some trouble just after the "What's the deal with your arms?" sequence.

This film is one of my favourite comedies.