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Started by retrorussell, January 19, 2010, 05:47:51 AM

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Nukie 2


[Close up of a smiling Arch Hall Jr.]

Joel: "Ahhh he's smiling!"

Manos: The Hands of Fate

[Torgo fondling woman]

Crow: "The itsy bitsy spiiiider..."

[daugter lies down on couch]

Joel: " I'm beat, I'm gonna hit the stain!"

[daughter puts something dubious into her poodles mouth]

Joel: "Hey Mom can Snuffy eat this silver fish?"

The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and became Teenage Zombies

[Dance routine surrounded by an audience in a tent]

Mike: "Guess the genders and win a free cocktail".

[Dancers move stiffly, female dancer twirls into male dancers arms]

Tom Servo: "Please the Furors out there tonight!"

[Male dancer makes strange swatting moves]

Crow:" I'm a big p***y-cat!"

[Large audience applauds]

Tom: " Hmmm, must be free chicken wings tonight."

Watch Nukie on YouTube
"Like" International Fans of the Movie Nukie and Sias Odendaal on Facebook!

Rev. Powell


[During a romantic walk in the moonlight Melissa playfully runs from Jody and stops by the edge of the pond.]
Melissa: This is where the fish lives.
Jody: Why did you run?
TOM [as Melissa]: 'Cause this is where the fish lives.
Melissa: Felt like it. I really wanted to fly, but I couldn't do that so I ran.
MIKE [as Jody]: You're kind of an idiot, aren't you?
[They start to kiss]
CROW [as Jody]: This is where my tongue lives.
TOM [as Melissa]: Please, not in front of the fish!
MIKE [as Jody]; Hey, your hoof is on my sneaker.
CROW [as Jody]: Oh, that was really bad.
Melissa: Tell me about yourself, who you are, all of that.
TOM [as Melissa]: Where your fish lives...
Jody: Well, my father's a Russian count.  When the Bolsheviks came in...
Melissa: Stop it.
Jody: You don't believe that?
Melissa: No.
Jody: Well, it could be true.
Melissa: Stop it.
MIKE [as Jody]: Oh, sure, Miss "This is where the fish lives."
I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot...



Joel: "Ah...the spotted cuckoo's flying backwards. It's a cold day for pontooning."  :question: :teddyr:


I'm not sure what the riffed movie is.....

Joel: [carrying Tom into the theatre, sees Roger Corman's credit appearing onscreen] "That's it, we're doomed."


We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness.


A couple more from MITCHELL
Tom <singing to tune of "Saturday in the Park"> "Mobsters laughin' really smilin', man selling heroin"

Crow (after Goons beat up Mitchell) "Oh, sorry, we thought you were Jim Rockford."


Crow (as Calgon shoves a random guy) "Stupid freshmen!"

Leah to Chunkhead "You really are stubborn."
Mike (as Chunkhead) "Does that mean I'm cut?"

From the ALPHABET ANTICS short

Tom: "D is for Damned, Village of."

Tom: "N is for float - wait, huh?"

Tom: "O is for Once there was a writers' strike?"

Joel: "P is for Plagiarized from Ogden Nash!"

Through the darkness of future past
The magician longs to see
One chance opts between two worlds
Fire walk with me


Also from Mitchell, with the old lady who is unwittingly smuggling drugs in her luggage. Spoken in a sweet old lady voice, of course.

"I just felt the balloon break!"

"We're going to control the ghetto, you and I."

And another good one:

"Andy Kaufman! You so stupid!"
"Join me in the abyss of savings."

Rev. Powell

THE FINAL SACRIFICE (some repeats, I'm sure)

CROW: So, Rowsdower, is that a stupid name, or...

TROY: Rowsdower, were you always a drifter?
ZAP: No.
TROY: What were you before?
CROW: Well, I used to give plasma...

TROY: You knew my father?
MIKE [as Pipper]: Knew him?  He was delicious!

[Rowsower drinks a beer and watches the sunset with a contemplative expression]
CROW: I wonder if there's beer on the sun?
I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot...

judge death


Room full of people laughing hysterically. "Dan Quayle announces his candidacy."

(Dan Quayle jokes are IMMORTAL!!)


(Don't think these have been mentioned, if so, apologies.)


Merlin (about to leave to find the evil monkey toy): "Don't I get a kiss?"
Mrs. Merlin: "You'll get more than that if you don't find that toy!"
Crow: "Did she just threaten him with sex?"

Servo randomly mimicking Merlin's "You're welcome"

"Saint Merlin not officially recognized by the Catholic Church."

Through the darkness of future past
The magician longs to see
One chance opts between two worlds
Fire walk with me



Mike (as Troy, happily singing): I'm gonna get water for Rowsdower.. Rowsdower wants me to get water for him..

Mike (as Rowsdower, looking quizzically at Pipper): Could I drink him? ...Nah.

Pipper: Go home.  Forget about the cult.  Don't let it ruin your life too!
Rowsdower: It already has.
Crow (as Rowsdower): Look at my hair!

(Rowsdower tries to start truck)
Mike (as truck revving): RowsdowerrrERrrERrrERrr..
"O the legend they say, on a Valentine's Day, is a curse that'll live on and on.."


From The Deadly Bees:
Farmer returns to his farm where his wife has been stung to death
Crow: One Day I'll come home and you'll be dead and..hey look it!

From Price of Space:
One of the scientist looking angrly at the Phantom of Krankor:
Mike(in a tough guy voice): I'm going to mess you up.

At least, that's what Gary Busey told me...


Servo: "Mighty Jack, the story of a brave pancake, starring Aunt Jemima and Flap the Wonder Dog.
"Join me in the abyss of savings."


Zombie Nightmare:

Teen (to the broadly drawn Italian stereotype): What happened Mr. Peters?
Servo: Peters?
Mike: Hank Peters, Italian grocer!

Voodoo Woman: I need de blood from a live animal.
Servo: And de lime in de coconut.

(Punk chucks a handful of spaghetti in his mom's face)
Servo: Didn't stick. Must not be done.

Motorhead's Ace of Spades: You know I'm born to lose, and gambling's for fools,
But that's the way I like it baby.
Servo: So, he's mad because he's losing, but that's the way he likes it?
Crow: Well, then everything works out.

(Rampaging zombie with a baseball bat)
Servo: George Romero's Casey at the Bat!

"Join me in the abyss of savings."

Rev. Powell


Father: The doctors have declared my daughter...
TOM: Patient of the month!
Father: ...brain dead.

Lots of jokes based on the fact that the female lead also wrote the screenplay.

Zach: Your mom, she's fine.  She's at the hospital.
Natalie: What?!
MIKE: Hey, you wrote this crap.

[Natalie reclines on her bed]
TOM: Interior: bedroom. Me. Draped across the bed, tousled but tawny. I lay there, hand on my taut tummy. Still pretty, in a worried kind of way.  Zoom in on my prettiness...
I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot...

Rev. Powell


CROW: Merlin was a thieving crackhead who fenced VCRs to feed his habit.

MIKE: Why couldn't the monkey just arrange this from inside the garbage can?

CROW: St. Merlin is not recognized by the Catholic Church.

Recurring jokes about how Ernest Borgnine "wrote" the screenplay:

CROW: Grandpa Borgnine, please!  Not another subplot!

CROW [in Ernest Borgnine voice]: I also have a script called "Chinatown," but I don't like it as much.
I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot...

Rev. Powell

Didn't see any FUTURE WAR:

[Hero appears]
CROW: Hey, it's Jean-Claude Van Damme!
MIKE: No, it's more like Jean-Claude Gosh-Darn.

[Robert Z'Dar's name appears in the credits]
TOM: Oh Z'no!

[the credit sequence is really, really long...]
TOM: See, this is what happens when you de-regulate credits.

[kickboxing sight gag]
TOM: My trained weenie will finish you off!

SISTER ANNE: I've done things I'm not proud of.
CROW: That's why I keep a scrapbook!

TOM: So that's how you kill an android!  You wipe a length of thin pipe across his abdomen!

[Z'dar crashes through the wall into a Catholic shrine]
TOM: The Lutherans create a cyborg.

[character inexpliably loses his shirt in the middle of a fight scene]
TOM: My shirt was knocked off!
I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot...