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THE BEST MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 riffs

Started by retrorussell, January 19, 2010, 05:47:51 AM

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ChaosTheory

#270
i'm just gonna post the whole thing, one of my favorite shorts:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=id4CvoKDTR0

Crow: This man is wearing a pushup bra; now he is pleasing!  :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:

Through the darkness of future past
The magician longs to see
One chance opts between two worlds
Fire walk with me

Rev. Powell

SECRET AGENT SUPER DRAGON

Super Dragon (calling home base): "It's Super Dragon."
JOEL: "Super Dragon who?"

Villain (threateningly): "It would be a shame to have to put you in our tub."
TOM: "For you see, the Mr. Bubble may give you a urinary infection."

[Super Dragon reacts as the girl he was kissing dies in his arms]
JOEL: "I could still hug her, that's not weird, is it?"

I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot...

bob

The Final Sacrifice

"Know him, he tastes great!!!!!!!!"  :teddyr: :teddyr: :teddyr:
Kubrick, Nolan, Tarantino, Wan, Iñárritu, Scorsese, Chaplin, Abrams, Wes Anderson, Gilliam, Kurosawa - the elite



I believe in the international communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.

Trevor

More from The Final Sacrifice:

[Rowsdower wakes up screaming] "I forgot the liquor stores close at seven!"* :teddyr:

Crow: "I can see why Quebec wants to be separate from all this."  :teddyr:

[Troy is hiding and one of the Ziox walks by] Mike: "Sir: you have a hole in your shoe.....oops.."  :teddyr:

* I don't know who said this.
We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness.

AndyC

Quote from: Trevor on June 02, 2011, 01:25:04 AM
More from The Final Sacrifice:

[Rowsdower wakes up screaming] "I forgot the liquor stores close at seven!"* :teddyr:

Crow: "I can see why Quebec wants to be separate from all this."  :teddyr:

[Troy is hiding and one of the Ziox walks by] Mike: "Sir: you have a hole in your shoe.....oops.."  :teddyr:

* I don't know who said this.


Crow: If it's any consolation, I hates that rabbit too.
---------------------
"Join me in the abyss of savings."

bob

Yet even more from The Final Sacrifice.

All 3 of them at one point or another "Seven years later."
Kubrick, Nolan, Tarantino, Wan, Iñárritu, Scorsese, Chaplin, Abrams, Wes Anderson, Gilliam, Kurosawa - the elite



I believe in the international communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.

Rev. Powell

EEGAH

[Roxy has nearly crashed into Eegah.  He approaches the car, dragging his club, to "exchange insurance information"]
FORGOT WHO: Oh, I'm driving a stick too!

Roxy [to her dad]: "How about I give you a shave?"
CROW: I know it's weird, but I'm into weird.

[Eegah reaches out to touch Roxy's hair]
JOEL: Oh, no! He's gone to the Torgo school of fondling!

And of course, "Watch out for snakes!" at every opportunity.

And my 8 year old niece watched a whole episode for the 2nd time in her life.  When they showed Eegah's family, she riffed, "So why are they all covered in brown mustard?"  :bouncegiggle:
I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot...

Trevor

Quote from: bob on June 03, 2011, 10:58:59 AM
Yet even more from The Final Sacrifice.
All 3 of them at one point or another "Seven years later."

:bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:

One of them says "Seven years after the credits?"  :teddyr: :teddyr:
We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness.

AndyC

When Pipper is telling the story of the Xiox, and Servo is saying "Uh huh... No they weren't... No they didn't... No it wasn't..."
---------------------
"Join me in the abyss of savings."

bob

From Eegah!, I don't remember who said it, it was damn funny.

"When did this become The Third Man?"
Kubrick, Nolan, Tarantino, Wan, Iñárritu, Scorsese, Chaplin, Abrams, Wes Anderson, Gilliam, Kurosawa - the elite



I believe in the international communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.

bob

From Laserblast: the ending credits where they really lay into Leonard Maltin for giving it 2 stars.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G66MIfTRT1k
Kubrick, Nolan, Tarantino, Wan, Iñárritu, Scorsese, Chaplin, Abrams, Wes Anderson, Gilliam, Kurosawa - the elite



I believe in the international communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.

AndyC

Earth vs. the Spider:

(Eerie music plays as hero and heroine explore the cave)
Servo: I know that theremin is around here somewhere.

Sheriff: Get that DDT in here quick.
Joel: PDQ, ASAP, you SOB.

(Spider attacks a deputy who resembles Josh Weinstein)
Joel: No! Dr. Erhardt, no! So that's what happened to him.
---------------------
"Join me in the abyss of savings."

Rev. Powell

I ACCUSE MY PARENTS

There really are a wealth of great lines in this one, and lots of them are running jokes: jokes about accusing your parents, about Jimmy winning the essay contest, the duck in the hallway that keeps quacking every time someone opens the door...

[Singing along to the haunting theme song]
TOM: They laughed when I accused my parents, and I killed them/Let's see if they'll be laughing now!

Kitty: I never had a mother myself, at least not one I can remember.
TOM: I was torn from the thigh of Zeus.

[Kitty's looking distraught after being forced to break up with Jimmy]
TOM: If I had parents, I'd accuse them now!

Judge: That sentence is hereby suspended, and you're remanded to the custody of your parents.
JOEL: Thank God I'm white!

Essay contest riffs:

Kitty: Jimmy's so sweet, the kind of guy every girl dreams of!
JOEL: He won an essay contest, you know!

CROW: He's taken to selling his essays on the street.

[Jimmy gets beaten up by mobsters]
TOM: This is a message from the other kids in the essay contest!

JOEL: Mom, dad, I won the 'get the crap kicked out of you' contest!
I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot...

Rev. Powell

More THE GIRL IN LOVERS LANE

JOEL: This is a great date, I always wanted to be nuzzled by a hobo.

[Big Stupid and wimpy kid have just been in a fight where Big did most of the work]
TOM (as wimpy kid): How about that guy I groined in the knee?

[Jack Elam is standing nervously in front of a lynch mob]
CROW: I'm trying to look at no one and I'm looking at everyone!
I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot...

AndyC

The Deadly Mantis:

(Hero and girl kissing in the car; she suggests it's time to go)
Crow: But I got a mantis in my pantis.
---------------------
"Join me in the abyss of savings."