THE BEST MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 riffs

[ChaosTheory]

SPACE MUTINY:

Cameron Mitchell's name appears in the credits
Servo: "Yay!! Wait no....."

[Trevor]

THE FINAL SACRIFICE

[Rowsdower guns down two cultists]

Mike: *BANG* Gilles, no! *BANG* Not Etienne! 

[AndyC]

Codename: Diamondhead

Basically, the whole running gag of the Ian McShane character being Lovejoy.

[ChaosTheory]

Codename: Diamondhead

Basically, the whole running gag of the Ian McShane character being Lovejoy.

He'll always be Swearengen to me.   

[Trevor]

BLOOD WATERS OF DOCTOR Z

(Mike tries to dislodge Crow from the cross beams)

Crow: "Ah, my friend the squeegee: I love you!" 

[ChaosTheory]

From FINAL SACRIFICE:
Troy & Zap are under the floorboards hiding from the cult thugs.
Crow (as Troy): "Oh, this is no big deal, it's how I get through every school day."

Zap: "Are you okay kid?'
Mike: "Well, I don't have any friends, girls don't like me, my teachers absolutely hate....oh, I mean, yeah, I'm fine."


From OVERDRAWN AT THE MEMORY BANK:
Servo: "Mike, the comic relief lady is making me very tense."

Apollonia & Fingle are arguing.
Fingle: "It's a good thing we don't have to like each other, because you're definitely not my kind of woman!"
She slaps him.
Crow: "Well, now you are, actually."

[Trevor]

BLOOD WATERS OF DOCTOR Z

[A fish or something appears to be expelling gas]

Mike: "Please enjoy a fish anus." 

[Rev. Powell]

CRASH OF MOONS

[During a suggestive space docking maneuver...]
TOM: You see, when a spaceship loves a space station very much...

[Vena and Bobby are illustrating dual moon orbits]
TOM: So what would happen if one of the moons sat down and shut up?

Rocky Jones: Quick, Winky, cover your face!
[Winky covers nose with a handkerchief]
CROW: No, more of your face!

[Chainsawmidget]

From Skydivers.

"I think they forgot to have things happen in this movie." 


"A stranger comes to town, touches nobody's life, and leaves."

[Trevor]

Trace Bealieu to a questioner at a convention panel with Bill Corbett and Ken Plume, discussing Crow:

"Make your own thing out of crap you find." 

[Trevor]

THE FINAL SACRIFICE

(Rowsdower strangles a cultist)

Crow: "Ayyy, I had a bead on a goose, ay.....ayyyyyyyyy...."

[Trevor]

BLOOD WATERS OF DOCTOR Z

[Doctor Z prepares to take off his pants]

Crow: "AAARGGGHHHH! I'd rather see Sammo Hung in a Speedo!" 

[Torgo]

Red Zone Cuba has some of my all time MST3K riffs throughout. My friends and I are constantly saying "I'm Cherokee Jack!" and "Water....thirsty.....sick man" all of the time.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1YzbINJMDyQ 

[ChaosTheory]

^Oh to be blessed with an instrument like John Carradine's. ^

from FUTUREWAR:

credits - Special Appearance by MEL NOVAK
Mike: "It'd be a lot more special if we knew who he was!"

Servo: "Hey, it's Jean Claude Van Damme!"
Mike: "Eh, more like Jean Claude Gosh Darn."

Hero is wandering through a maze of shipping boxes.
Crow: "He's feeling boxed in!"
Mike: "Yeah? Well I'm card-BORED!"
Servo: "Shut up, you two."

[Trevor]

credits - Special Appearance by MEL NOVAK
Mike: "It'd be a lot more special if we knew who he was!"

He played Tony Montoya in An Eye For An Eye.