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THE BEST MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 riffs

Started by retrorussell, January 19, 2010, 05:47:51 AM

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Rev. Powell

AVALANCHE:

TOM: So now we're seeing collateral deaths from just the idea of an avalanche?
CROW: What's next, somebody cutting their finger on the newspaper reading about it?

Rock Hudson: The boy is safe. Let go!
CROW: Let go or the boy dies!

CROW: Dear trip advisor: found cheerleader in my salad. Waitstaff refused to help. 1 out of 5 stars.
I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot...

Rev. Powell

THE BEASTS OF HOLLOW MOUNTAIN

[Old Mexican drunk appears]
JONAH: So THAT's what happened to the most interesting man in the world.

TOM: I told him I wanted him to leave, why isn't he staying? I guess I just don't get men.

?: Changing my Facebook status to "orphan."
I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot...

Rev. Powell

STARCRASH

JONAH: I feel like I'm watching a community theater production of "Guardians of the Galaxy."

CROW: L's been so much more assertive since he died!

JONAH: Good thing I have eye-magic! Did I not mention that before? Well, I do.
I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot...

Rev. Powell

THE LAND THAT TIME FORGOT

TOM: The German sailor comes out of his hole. If he sees his shadow, we'll have three more weeks of war.

CROW: The land that time forgot... to edit.

JONAH: It seems the real dinosaur was man.
I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot...

Rev. Powell

THE LOVES OF HERCULES

TOM: "The Loves of Hercules": a Greco-Romantic comedy.

[A bull is charging Jayne Mansfield]
CROW: He'll bounce right off you!

JONAH (in "mom" voice): Hercules Anthony Jupiter, you get back here!
I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot...

Rev. Powell

YONGARY

CROW: Did you try yelling "capsule"? That sometimes works.

Young scientist: Icho, where have you been?
Icho: Watching Yongary.
JONAH: It's not very good.

TOM: Gentleman, the situation is dire, sure, but why are we collecting our pee?
I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot...

Trevor

Quote from: Rev. Powell on June 10, 2017, 03:59:23 PM
YONGARY

TOM: Gentleman, the situation is dire, sure, but why are we collecting our pee?

:buggedout: :buggedout::bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:
We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness.

Rev. Powell

#547
WIZARDS OF THE LOST KINGDOM

[Poorly choreographed fight scene]
TOM: Got some smutz on my sword, I'm just going to wipe it on your back... there.

[Seductive with feeds hero bright green potion]
TOM: Can I tempt you with some Robitussin?

[Tender separation scene]
CROW: Oh Golfax, you haven't protected me or done anything to further the plot or the action, but I'll really miss you!
I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot...

Rev. Powell

WIZARDS OF THE LOST KINGDOM 2

TOM: Kids come running for the great taste of millet!

Wizard to Amazon Princess: "His quest is to save the three kingdoms."
CROW?: And to strike out with every feather-haired blond.

Disembodied voice that sounds like Don Pardo: "The darkness threatens to engulf you..."
TOM: With musical guest Men at Work, and your host, Steve Martin!
I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot...

Trevor

Quote from: Rev. Powell on June 17, 2017, 01:07:38 PM
WIZARDS OF THE LOST KINGDOM

[Poorly choreographed fight scene]
TOM: Got some smutz on my sword, I'm just going to wipe it on your back... there.


:bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:
We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness.

Rev. Powell

CARNIVAL MAGIC

[Kissing scene on "skating" date]
CROW: Jonah, is this skating?
JONAH: Yeah, it's tongue skating.

Evil doctor: "Vivisection is a dirty word, but it's necessary in order to solve problems that must be solved.
CROW: Can't argue with that logic, cut 'im up!

Dumb girlfriend: Are they going to hurt him?
CROW: Or is this one of those pain-free monkey vivisection clinics we've been reading about?
I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot...

Rev. Powell

THE CHRISTMAS THAT ALMOST WASN'T

JONAH (as lawyer): By the way, Santa, everything since we've met has been billable hours.

Prune: "I've been running away from children my whole life."
CROW: As required by the court order.

CROW: Man, I think I hate kids now, too. I'm down with Prune.
I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot...

Rev. Powell

AT THE EARTH'S CORE

TOM: Being the chivalrous gentleman, David traps his fellow slaves with their captors in a room full of lava.

[Doug sneaks past sleeping monsters]
JONAH: Looks like we caught a lucky break. Puppeteers must be at lunch.

[During bloody fight scene with monster]
CROW: Oh Doug, no! There's a guy in there! Stop it! Seriously, that's his blood! Doug, stop it!
JONAH: Can somebody yell 'cut'?
I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot...

Rev. Powell

BEING FROM ANOTHER PLANET

CROW: It's that thing again! That thing that's driving the plot... into nowhere...

[Girl falls from high building presumably to her death]
CROW: Ooo, she missed the pool. That's going to effect her score.

TOM: Did ancient astronauts wear Lee Press-On Nails?
I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot...

Trevor

Quote from: Rev. Powell on July 15, 2017, 07:47:31 PM
AT THE EARTH'S CORE
[Doug sneaks past sleeping monsters]
JONAH: Looks like we caught a lucky break. Puppeteers must be at lunch.

:bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:
We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness.