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What CAN'T you do that most people can do?

Started by Silverlady, March 27, 2011, 06:49:28 PM

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Mofo Rising

Quote from: ghouck on March 27, 2011, 11:29:51 PM
Quote from: Paquita on March 27, 2011, 11:15:48 PM
 
I also can't tread water.. is that what it's called?  - I can swim, but I can't swim in place.

Low body fat + small feet = hard to tread water. Means you aren't fat enough.

I was recently in Hawaii, and for the very first time in my life I found I could float in water. That's because I am now fat enough to float. For most of my life I was to dense to be able to float. Now I can. Thank you beer!

I am incapable of instantly telling left from right. I don't know what it is, but if somebody asks me if something is to the left or right, I still have to put my hands in front of me and make the "L" with left hand. Some sort of mental block, but it's never clicked for me.
Every dead body that is not exterminated becomes one of them. It gets up and kills. The people it kills, get up and kill.

Killer Bees

I have no capacity to do maths beyond the most basic of sums.  I'm fascinated by the subject and in awe of those who are good at it, but without a calculator, I'm pretty much dead in the water.
Flower, gleam and glow
Let your power shine
Make the clock reverse
Bring back what once was mine
Heal what has been hurt
Change the fates' design
Save what has been lost
Bring back what once was mine
What once was mine.......

Jack

My typing is really putrid.  I took two semesters of typing in high school and that skill has just been deteriorating ever since. 

Can't remember stuff.  Couldn't remember the words radish or chives.  Or the name of one of my uncles.   
The world is changed by your example, not by your opinion.

- Paulo Coelho

macabre

hi
I cannot for the life of me satisfy my wife in bed, no matter how many books i read on the subject or how many movies i watch i am incapable of giving my wife the orgasm she so desperately wants,aaaahhhhhhhh the pressures us men must shoulder.
GEEZ! I NEVER REALISED A BRAIN WEIGHED SO MUCH.
WHY HAVE YOU GOT A KNIFE IN YOUR HAND? I HAVEN'T IT'S IN YOUR CHEST.
A MARATHON! MY WIFE COULDN'T RUN A BATH WITHOUT FEELING TIRED.

The Burgomaster

Quote from: macabre on March 28, 2011, 11:02:05 AM
hi
I cannot for the life of me satisfy my wife in bed, no matter how many books i read on the subject or how many movies i watch i am incapable of giving my wife the orgasm she so desperately wants,aaaahhhhhhhh the pressures us men must shoulder.

Funny.  She never has trouble reaching orgasm with me.   :buggedout: :buggedout: :buggedout:

"Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone."

The Burgomaster

I can't type with all 10 fingers.  I took a typing class in high school (on an electric typewriter . . . hey, it was around 1981) and I could type very well by the end of the class (I got an "A")!  Unfortunately, I rarely used my typing skills in the years that followed and I forgot how to type.  Now, I type with 2 fingers (and I can type reasonably fast, thank you, but not nearly as fast as if I used all 10).

   
"Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone."

Silverlady

Quote from: claws on March 28, 2011, 12:15:04 AM
I can't "roll" my tongue and I can't wiggle my ears. Can't burp on command either.




Hadn't thought of that. I tried wiggling my ears.  Another I can't do ....
Hold onto your dreams ....

Flick James

Quote from: Jack on March 28, 2011, 06:32:53 AM
My typing is really putrid.  I took two semesters of typing in high school and that skill has just been deteriorating ever since. 

Can't remember stuff.  Couldn't remember the words radish or chives.  Or the name of one of my uncles.   

pu·trid   /ˈpyutrɪd/  Show Spelled
[pyoo-trid]  Show IPA

–adjective
1. in a state of foul decay or decomposition, as animal or vegetable matter; rotten.
2. of, pertaining to, or attended by putrefaction.
3. having the odor of decaying flesh.
4. thoroughly corrupt, depraved, or evil.
5. of very low quality; rotten.

WOW! Does your typing actually produce a rotting smell?

:teddyr:
I don't always talk about bad movies, but when I do, I prefer badmovies.org

Flick James

I can't seem to watch Avatar, but seeing as it made a gazillion dollars, obviously most people can.
I don't always talk about bad movies, but when I do, I prefer badmovies.org

Jack

Quote from: Flick James on March 28, 2011, 12:42:38 PM
Quote from: Jack on March 28, 2011, 06:32:53 AM
My typing is really putrid.  I took two semesters of typing in high school and that skill has just been deteriorating ever since. 

Can't remember stuff.  Couldn't remember the words radish or chives.  Or the name of one of my uncles.   

pu·trid   /ˈpyutrɪd/  Show Spelled
[pyoo-trid]  Show IPA

–adjective
1. in a state of foul decay or decomposition, as animal or vegetable matter; rotten.
2. of, pertaining to, or attended by putrefaction.
3. having the odor of decaying flesh.
4. thoroughly corrupt, depraved, or evil.
5. of very low quality; rotten.

WOW! Does your typing actually produce a rotting smell?

:teddyr:

Some people think so, but actually that's just, um...well I like spicy foods and they tend to give me gas.
The world is changed by your example, not by your opinion.

- Paulo Coelho

ghouck

Quote from: macabre on March 28, 2011, 11:02:05 AM
hi
I cannot for the life of me satisfy my wife in bed, no matter how many books i read on the subject or how many movies i watch i am incapable of giving my wife the orgasm she so desperately wants,aaaahhhhhhhh the pressures us men must shoulder.

Someone is trying too hard, probably both of you. Ask her if she can make the solo flight, and if she can't, that's where she should start. Once she can, start with that, and work your way to flying the mission yourself. Keep in mind, you'll probably never be able to make the flight without help from her, women often just don't work that way. Also, work on passing the oral exam, and remember, it's all informal tests, so you can bring in whatever you need to help you pass.

Just a helpful tip from you're Uncle Greg.
Raw bacon is GREAT! It's like regular bacon, only faster, and it doesn't burn the roof of your mouth!

Happiness is green text in the "Stuff To Watch For" section.

James James: The man so nice, they named him twice.

"Aw man, this thong is chafing my balls" -Lloyd Kaufman in Poultrygeist.

"There's always time for lubricant" -Orlando Jones in Evolution

lester1/2jr

QuoteI can't blow my nose or shuffle cards fancy either.

I can do them at the same time

Flick James

Quote from: Jack on March 28, 2011, 12:55:04 PM
Quote from: Flick James on March 28, 2011, 12:42:38 PM
Quote from: Jack on March 28, 2011, 06:32:53 AM
My typing is really putrid.  I took two semesters of typing in high school and that skill has just been deteriorating ever since. 

Can't remember stuff.  Couldn't remember the words radish or chives.  Or the name of one of my uncles.   

pu·trid   /ˈpyutrɪd/  Show Spelled
[pyoo-trid]  Show IPA

–adjective
1. in a state of foul decay or decomposition, as animal or vegetable matter; rotten.
2. of, pertaining to, or attended by putrefaction.
3. having the odor of decaying flesh.
4. thoroughly corrupt, depraved, or evil.
5. of very low quality; rotten.

WOW! Does your typing actually produce a rotting smell?

:teddyr:

Some people think so, but actually that's just, um...well I like spicy foods and they tend to give me gas.

Gotcha. I was concerned that your typing might be corrupt, depraved, or evil, in which case I was prepared to avoid all future posts.

:wink:
I don't always talk about bad movies, but when I do, I prefer badmovies.org

macabre

hi
I knew it! i spent all that time watching Blue movies(against my will) reading all those porn magazines and having to force myself into trying out my new techniques with all those women,all in the hope that one day i would be able to please my loving wife, and guess what?. All i had to do was ask my uncle Greg and my fav forum member the master and i would have my answer.

thank-you
Tonight my wife will scream so loud you guys in America shall be able to hear her,  yippppeeeeeeee
GEEZ! I NEVER REALISED A BRAIN WEIGHED SO MUCH.
WHY HAVE YOU GOT A KNIFE IN YOUR HAND? I HAVEN'T IT'S IN YOUR CHEST.
A MARATHON! MY WIFE COULDN'T RUN A BATH WITHOUT FEELING TIRED.

Flick James

Quote from: macabre on March 28, 2011, 01:32:11 PM
hi
I knew it! i spent all that time watching Blue movies(against my will) reading all those porn magazines and having to force myself into trying out my new techniques with all those women,all in the hope that one day i would be able to please my loving wife, and guess what?. All i had to do was ask my uncle Greg and my fav forum member the master and i would have my answer.

thank-you
Tonight my wife will scream so loud you guys in America shall be able to hear her,  yippppeeeeeeee

Standing by.

:teddyr:
I don't always talk about bad movies, but when I do, I prefer badmovies.org