Things you learned from a bad movie

[Chainsawmidget]

If your car breaks down, don't go to the creeping looking house/cabin/castle to ask to use theirs. 

Any animals that has fangs can either roar or hiss.  Possibly both. 

Gun shot wounds are either instantly fatal or nothing to worry about. 

When the apocalypse comes, leather and denim will be the only kinds of cloth left. 

[alandhopewell]

Any woman under the age of fifty who wears her hair in a bun, and has glasses, will turn out to be a hottie.

Someone who disappears 1/3-1/2 through the picture will turn up alive, and be the bad guy.

Serial killers always had religious upbringings.

The scientist (journalist) assigned to investigate the strange rash of killings will always be the sheriff's ex-wife.

Giant insects all have a weak spot in the throat that is vulnerable; it is often light in color.

Any doll sent to someone anonomously should be destroyed, immediately.

Richard Jaekel, appearing in any film, should be punched out, on general principles;the same holds for Lorenzo Lamas.

[moltogordo]

While watching "Killer Tomatoes", which I have never been able to get through in one sitting ever, despite repeated attempts, I learned how to flip stuff in a frying pan by practicing with dried beans.

I'm not kidding.

[tahrgat]

While watching "Blood Gnomes" I learned: Don't act crazy in a world populated by only bad actors. The only emotion they can successfully convey is anger.

[MEWtube]

Do the exact opposite of the people in paranormal activity 1.

[metalmonster]

if you start to hear banjos playing row faster!

marijuana brownies are high in vitamins t,h, and c

never trust old people

[66Crush]

If it was made in the 80's the geek will get the hot girl, If it's made today, the geek will have to settle for another geek.

The 27 year old playing the 17 year old will think think her 35 year old parents aren't cool.

The black guy is always the toughest (even in the last "Rocky").

There are only 5 overweight people in Hollywood.

The boom mike is also a prop.

Nobody in a horror film owns a gun.

News travels slow at Camp Crystal Lake.

A prequel can turn your favorite movie bad guy into a complete wuss.

Samuel L. Jackson plays the same character in every movie.

Samuel L. Jackson is in every movie.

Horror writers have only seen three movies, they are:

1. Friday the 13th

2. Jaws

3. The Blair Witch Project

The last time Hollywood had an original idea, Jimmy Carter was president.

Jimmy Carter will be played by Martin Sheen.

Every president is played by Martin Sheen.

Every Mexican is played by Danny Trejo.

Danny Trejo is in every movie.

Nudity is required in any bad movie, acting ability is not.

Direct to DVD release is not a bad thing.

Direct to the SYFY channel release is a bad thing.

[mrsskinner]

Its better to be poor because if you're rich, all your relatives will try to gaslight and/or kill you outright to get your money

[Criswell]

Did WyreWizard decide to become normal?

[66Crush]

Here are a few more:

The mean girl is always a brunette.

All 80's rock stars wore wigs.

Children are always smarter than their parents.

People from the south are all hideously deformed and will rape and kill you.

Fat guys are always funny.

Anybody wearing glasses is a genius.

Your virginity will keep you alive, but only if you're a girl.

If the murder involves a band, the manager always did it.

All reporters are live on the scene at any time for any reason.

Clint Eastwood is never too old to kick someones ass.

[bob]

double elimination arm wrestling tournaments can end with some one only loisng once provided that the person who was defeated only once is a douche and hasn't lost in five years (Over the Top)

[Jack]

Being confined to a bed for years can build your muscles up to the point where you've got superhuman strength.  (Prom Night IV)

Any shed or building set on fire will invariably explode when the main character has run just far enough away to be knocked down by the force of the blast, but not otherwise injured. 

Virgins usually have a slut for a best friend.

[Leah]

Actin is not a requirement, only trying to make the words out is.

[Allhallowsday]

Did WyreWizard decide to become normal?

What's normal?

[LilCerberus]

Did WyreWizard decide to become normal?

What's normal?

Normal is what people are until you get to know them...